The Red Dress
Viewing comments for Chapter 28 "The Red Dress chapter twenty eight."The story of a teenage girl
13 total reviews
Comment from wordsfromsue
Wow! I think I would have at least read the letter, especially since I'm under the impression that Alan might not love me anymore. (This is me thinking as Lisa.) Of course, I do have handsome Richard's card, and he's younger, so who needs Nick anyway? And Richard does have that Porsche..... hmm, decisions, decisions....
If Alan would just call, things would all be fine.
Still waiting to see how Alan will be.....
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
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Wow! I think I would have at least read the letter, especially since I'm under the impression that Alan might not love me anymore. (This is me thinking as Lisa.) Of course, I do have handsome Richard's card, and he's younger, so who needs Nick anyway? And Richard does have that Porsche..... hmm, decisions, decisions....
If Alan would just call, things would all be fine.
Still waiting to see how Alan will be.....
Comment Written 17-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
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Can't believe I missed this one so far back! Thank you so much, my friend. Alexis x
Comment from G.B. Smith
Hey beautiful
This is just getting to bug the hell outta me now girl. Lisa seems to be OK with her new friends, Alan is??????? Then there is still that damn letter. Did I forget anything? I probably did I'm old and tend to forget a lot any more. Very engaging Alexis
Bear
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2012
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Hey beautiful
This is just getting to bug the hell outta me now girl. Lisa seems to be OK with her new friends, Alan is??????? Then there is still that damn letter. Did I forget anything? I probably did I'm old and tend to forget a lot any more. Very engaging Alexis
Bear
Comment Written 04-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2012
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Now, you really do know how to make a girl feel special! Thank you so much. Alexis x
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, alexis, you did a great job writing this chapter where lisa still is laying around crying, i enjoyed reading it and am almost caught up again
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2012
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this is very well written, alexis, you did a great job writing this chapter where lisa still is laying around crying, i enjoyed reading it and am almost caught up again
Comment Written 03-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2012
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Well it's all about to kick off, so I'd hold on to your hat! Thank you so much for following and reviewing. Alexis x
Comment from Malerie
I hope Lisa is not following in her mother's footsteps; it seems that she fancies the wine. Alan is holding on for Lisa but I'm guessing it will be Carla at his bedside when he awakes and his parents will be thrilled. I would like to know what is in the letter Nick wrote; the fact that it is in the trash can means that she may dig it out, tape it up and read it. Another good chapter; I'm still reading.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2012
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I hope Lisa is not following in her mother's footsteps; it seems that she fancies the wine. Alan is holding on for Lisa but I'm guessing it will be Carla at his bedside when he awakes and his parents will be thrilled. I would like to know what is in the letter Nick wrote; the fact that it is in the trash can means that she may dig it out, tape it up and read it. Another good chapter; I'm still reading.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2012
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Oh, don't be mean, she just had a couple of glasses! You probably know by now, your predictions were spot on! Alexis x
Comment from axelbeariter
Lisa was ragged with lack of sleep./I'm not sure if ragged is the right word. Try: Lisa was worn out from lack of sleep or something similar----To think she had thought the main test of their relationship was it surviving Carla's return/Drop it from the sentence----From Webster's dictionary: plonk--Chiefly Brit., etc.] cheap, inferior wine/Did you know this?----Linda stabbed at the salad organised especially for her,/I wonder if created might be more succinct than organised----but he knows the engagements off."/Use engagement's----to say the least./That's extraneous and not needed.----"What's wrong with him? Is he dead ugly, or what?"She asked./Put a space after? and bf"----just drop it!" Lisa snapped irritably/Here is a place you definitely don't need an ! That plus saying snapped irritably would make that sentence redundant----Another great character sketch chapter----
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2012
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Lisa was ragged with lack of sleep./I'm not sure if ragged is the right word. Try: Lisa was worn out from lack of sleep or something similar----To think she had thought the main test of their relationship was it surviving Carla's return/Drop it from the sentence----From Webster's dictionary: plonk--Chiefly Brit., etc.] cheap, inferior wine/Did you know this?----Linda stabbed at the salad organised especially for her,/I wonder if created might be more succinct than organised----but he knows the engagements off."/Use engagement's----to say the least./That's extraneous and not needed.----"What's wrong with him? Is he dead ugly, or what?"She asked./Put a space after? and bf"----just drop it!" Lisa snapped irritably/Here is a place you definitely don't need an ! That plus saying snapped irritably would make that sentence redundant----Another great character sketch chapter----
Comment Written 02-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2012
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Great suggestions, Axel, All of which I've used. Thank you. Alexis x
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All sorted thanks to your eagle eye. My thanks as always. Alexis x
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Excellent chapter,.....but when is she gonna have a brain in her egg head and think accident......I'm dying here....oh crap ok ok reviewing mode.
Excellent chapter and filled with the new fluff of the school stuff....now back to Alan...
You have me glued to the screen and cursing you as I speed through your chapters ready to ring Lisa's neck to tell her about Alan my self. ... Sigh
But excellent chapter as always.:)
I noted a few lines below with either word meanings from each side of the pond. You may well prefer them to stay as they are ....but give em a read....just in case.
Thanks for sharing and driving me nuts at the same time...
Maureen
wc
Edit checks:
"tears running down her face, her beautiful long hair blowing in the wind. He was running behind her, reaching for her, but he couldn't catch her (up)." //I know this is how we would say it in the UK, but I would remove the 'up'
and the sentence has power on both sides of the pond.
"name, but the words were stuck in his throat. He felt his legs and arms moving but they wouldn't move quickly enough (for him to catch up with her)- so he willed them to move faster...." //Repetative especially since they are so close ..revamp sentence?
"The nurse in intensive care looked over as he started fitting and pressed the emergency button at the side of his bed. She had seen it all too often before..." // The word fitting over here means to try on something and see if it fits....?
""You know, you might be right. The first time I met Lisa on the train she was bubbling over an unopened letter she reckoned was from some guy she gave the push. Maybe she's regretting it now."" // Terminology..."push" different meanings here?
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2012
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Excellent chapter,.....but when is she gonna have a brain in her egg head and think accident......I'm dying here....oh crap ok ok reviewing mode.
Excellent chapter and filled with the new fluff of the school stuff....now back to Alan...
You have me glued to the screen and cursing you as I speed through your chapters ready to ring Lisa's neck to tell her about Alan my self. ... Sigh
But excellent chapter as always.:)
I noted a few lines below with either word meanings from each side of the pond. You may well prefer them to stay as they are ....but give em a read....just in case.
Thanks for sharing and driving me nuts at the same time...
Maureen
wc
Edit checks:
"tears running down her face, her beautiful long hair blowing in the wind. He was running behind her, reaching for her, but he couldn't catch her (up)." //I know this is how we would say it in the UK, but I would remove the 'up'
and the sentence has power on both sides of the pond.
"name, but the words were stuck in his throat. He felt his legs and arms moving but they wouldn't move quickly enough (for him to catch up with her)- so he willed them to move faster...." //Repetative especially since they are so close ..revamp sentence?
"The nurse in intensive care looked over as he started fitting and pressed the emergency button at the side of his bed. She had seen it all too often before..." // The word fitting over here means to try on something and see if it fits....?
""You know, you might be right. The first time I met Lisa on the train she was bubbling over an unopened letter she reckoned was from some guy she gave the push. Maybe she's regretting it now."" // Terminology..."push" different meanings here?
Comment Written 02-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2012
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I always know I can rely on you to point out the differences between terminology both here and in the States. Glad to say Alen is now convulsing and dumped...and he's not catching up with her any more (poor sod!) Hope your having a good day wc, I'm off to edit a couple more. Take care, BSC xxx
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All sorted wc, as usual you picked up on the pond matter so well. Thank you my pal, Alexis xxx
Comment from debskatz
Hi alexis,
Child, please! I wanted to know what was in the letter!
I can't wait to read the next chapter, but unfortunately, I've got to list all your spag. sigh... lol
From six (o'clock) onwards she kept
wait until eight thirty(eight-thirty) before
sound of a dialling(dial) tone.
As Veronique had predicted(,) there were
A lot of Lisa's year did go(;) however,
Not bad! Now I'm off to the next one!
smiles,
deb
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2012
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Hi alexis,
Child, please! I wanted to know what was in the letter!
I can't wait to read the next chapter, but unfortunately, I've got to list all your spag. sigh... lol
From six (o'clock) onwards she kept
wait until eight thirty(eight-thirty) before
sound of a dialling(dial) tone.
As Veronique had predicted(,) there were
A lot of Lisa's year did go(;) however,
Not bad! Now I'm off to the next one!
smiles,
deb
Comment Written 02-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2012
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I don't believe it! No 'that's'? Surely not, Miss...there must be one! Love Ya, Alexis x
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Shocked the hell out of me, too!! lol xoxo
Comment from rwilliam
YAY! That's tellin' her Lisa! I like seeing that she's getting a bit of a back bone!
Happy to hear you say Alan is still trying to reach out to Lisa. That' is VERY encouraging for me! Honestly, I had such a hard time sleeping last night after reading your chapter's! I even dreamed about it.
It's delicious and fun to be reading a book I can't put down. Been way to long. Thanks for writing the one I'm enjoying.
I didn't catch anything to fix.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2012
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YAY! That's tellin' her Lisa! I like seeing that she's getting a bit of a back bone!
Happy to hear you say Alan is still trying to reach out to Lisa. That' is VERY encouraging for me! Honestly, I had such a hard time sleeping last night after reading your chapter's! I even dreamed about it.
It's delicious and fun to be reading a book I can't put down. Been way to long. Thanks for writing the one I'm enjoying.
I didn't catch anything to fix.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2012
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Yes, but he's not exactly getting through, is he? Thank you so much for your enthusiastic review, it really does inspire me to keep writing. Alexis x
Comment from AlexAX
I didn't get to read what was in the letter? Nooooooo lol But I think Lisa will regret acting that way to Amy as it may harm their friendship. She is feeling alone again because she feels she cannot tell anyone what is really happening. And Lisa not knowing about Allan is still killing me lol Great dialogue, I like that they all set up a schedule to look after Lisa. Alex :)
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2012
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I didn't get to read what was in the letter? Nooooooo lol But I think Lisa will regret acting that way to Amy as it may harm their friendship. She is feeling alone again because she feels she cannot tell anyone what is really happening. And Lisa not knowing about Allan is still killing me lol Great dialogue, I like that they all set up a schedule to look after Lisa. Alex :)
Comment Written 02-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2012
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Lol! I don't want to say too much, in case I give the game away. I'm so glad you're enjoying the story. Alexis x
Comment from Misrael
Oh boy! I think that Lisa is going to regret doing that if I don't miss my guess. I look forward to reading more in the future. Good job.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2012
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Oh boy! I think that Lisa is going to regret doing that if I don't miss my guess. I look forward to reading more in the future. Good job.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2012
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Don't worry, her friends are on the case! Thank you so much for your review, it's always appreciated.