The Red Dress
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "The Red Dress chapter twenty six"The story of a teenage girl
10 total reviews
Comment from wordsfromsue
I don't even know what to say to this chapter. I'm still shocked by the awful accident. I'm eating cookies with milk to comfort my shattered nerves! ;-) Cookies are the only thing that will do for this harrowing of a chapter. I have no idea if Alan will live, it doesn't look good. In any event, why did Mike have to bite the dust? That just sucks donkey tails. :-(
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2012
  |
I don't even know what to say to this chapter. I'm still shocked by the awful accident. I'm eating cookies with milk to comfort my shattered nerves! ;-) Cookies are the only thing that will do for this harrowing of a chapter. I have no idea if Alan will live, it doesn't look good. In any event, why did Mike have to bite the dust? That just sucks donkey tails. :-(
Comment Written 17-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2012
-
Sorry, I had to make sure he couldn't answer his phone and I know I could just have him lose it, but I needed something a bit more exciting! Ah, the power. Loving your reviews my friend, you have a great sense of humour. Alexis x
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, alexis, you did a great job writing this chapter where alan keeps seeing lisa in his dreams, i enjoyed reading it. very emotional scenes..
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2012
|
this is very well written, alexis, you did a great job writing this chapter where alan keeps seeing lisa in his dreams, i enjoyed reading it. very emotional scenes..
Comment Written 03-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2012
-
Those dreams are the basis of the book, the red dress means so much to them both. Thank you for yet another lovely review. Alexis x
Comment from Malerie
Well, I knew Nick would come back into the picture somehow. You left me hanging with Alan; I don't believe you are ready to kill him off yet. He's probably in a coma for a really long time but I expect he will return just when Lisa's has come to terms of him being gone; I may be wrong, you've surprised me before. Another good chapter, keep writing; I'll keep reading.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2012
|
Well, I knew Nick would come back into the picture somehow. You left me hanging with Alan; I don't believe you are ready to kill him off yet. He's probably in a coma for a really long time but I expect he will return just when Lisa's has come to terms of him being gone; I may be wrong, you've surprised me before. Another good chapter, keep writing; I'll keep reading.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2012
-
Now, would I tell you? hopefully it will not be too predictable! My sincere thanks for your review. Alexis x
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Your work is so well-thoughtout
and the chapter well-presented,
Alexis... making it so easy
to follow and a pleasure to read
well-being
Margaret
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2012
|
Your work is so well-thoughtout
and the chapter well-presented,
Alexis... making it so easy
to follow and a pleasure to read
well-being
Margaret
Comment Written 02-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2012
-
From you, I take that as a wonderful compliment, Margaret. Thank you so much. Alexis x
Comment from rwilliam
"Alan, love, we're taking you to the hospital-- hang on in there for me, okay?"-- Ok this may be a difference in the way we speak but just in case I'll mention it. Try:--hang on for me, okay?
Wow, I am not wanting this to go this way BUT that said this is what makes stories great. :-(
Great work. Off to see what happens. I'm hoping against hope that he's alive. *sniff* sniff*
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2012
|
"Alan, love, we're taking you to the hospital-- hang on in there for me, okay?"-- Ok this may be a difference in the way we speak but just in case I'll mention it. Try:--hang on for me, okay?
Wow, I am not wanting this to go this way BUT that said this is what makes stories great. :-(
Great work. Off to see what happens. I'm hoping against hope that he's alive. *sniff* sniff*
Comment Written 02-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2012
-
As usual, you got it! Now changed. Thank you! Alexis x
Comment from axelbeariter
" Come on, Alan--- don't give up on me,"/Put the quotation mark closer to Come----Alan was muttering something/Use active voice: Alan muttered something---- "He's in VF. Shocking to 200-- Stand clear...."/Very professional----
"Now that's more like it,'/Use a double quotation mark here----It was from Nick.../Great hook
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2012
|
" Come on, Alan--- don't give up on me,"/Put the quotation mark closer to Come----Alan was muttering something/Use active voice: Alan muttered something---- "He's in VF. Shocking to 200-- Stand clear...."/Very professional----
"Now that's more like it,'/Use a double quotation mark here----It was from Nick.../Great hook
Comment Written 01-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2012
-
I aspire to your praise. Thank you so much. Alexis x
Comment from Misrael
I have been trying to keep up with this story and have found it to be very good and I look forward to reading more in the future. Good job and good read
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2012
|
I have been trying to keep up with this story and have found it to be very good and I look forward to reading more in the future. Good job and good read
Comment Written 01-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2012
-
It's lovely to receive your reviews, thank you so much. Alexis x
Comment from debskatz
Hey alexis,
Dang, I read them out of order. Oh, well. Another good chapter. How is Lisa going to find out about Alan? Not good... Poor thing.
You're making me work again!
the school when she knew (that) he would
Lisa convinced herself (that) he would
boys(,) in dinner suits from the
last school, (that) those kinds
drink-spiking and out of sight(out-of-sight) groping.
Borders (had) only had
pupils(,) and she had always
down or lonely (from the phone in her room), (and) they(he?) (would be able to)(could) contact her every day and tell her how much they(he?) loved her.
were doubtful (that) they could get him
He was just relieved to see (that) she wasn't
Anna was glad (that) one of the policemen
this gut instinct (that) something was wrong.
Lisa was just amazed (that) she'd managed
Daggone, you like them "thats!" lol
You know the drill.
Great chapter! I wish I didn't have to wait till tomorrow to read the next one!
smiles,
deb
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2012
|
Hey alexis,
Dang, I read them out of order. Oh, well. Another good chapter. How is Lisa going to find out about Alan? Not good... Poor thing.
You're making me work again!
the school when she knew (that) he would
Lisa convinced herself (that) he would
boys(,) in dinner suits from the
last school, (that) those kinds
drink-spiking and out of sight(out-of-sight) groping.
Borders (had) only had
pupils(,) and she had always
down or lonely (from the phone in her room), (and) they(he?) (would be able to)(could) contact her every day and tell her how much they(he?) loved her.
were doubtful (that) they could get him
He was just relieved to see (that) she wasn't
Anna was glad (that) one of the policemen
this gut instinct (that) something was wrong.
Lisa was just amazed (that) she'd managed
Daggone, you like them "thats!" lol
You know the drill.
Great chapter! I wish I didn't have to wait till tomorrow to read the next one!
smiles,
deb
Comment Written 01-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2012
-
Lol! Believe it or not, when I realized you'd missed a chapter I thought 'Oh my God, it must have been so bad, she didn't even bother to review it. By the time this review arrived I had caught and eliminated about 6 of the little 'that' critters myself! Dammit, not fast enough! All present and correct now, boss!
-
LOL!! Very good, minion! lol I'll go reward you with another star! :-)
Comment from AlexAX
Mike died ... oh no :( wasn't expecting that at all. Another great chapter, kept me on tenterhooks all the way through. Good pace. I nearly laughed too when her mum said bye at the station lol I wondered when Nick would be back in it. Alex :)
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2012
|
Mike died ... oh no :( wasn't expecting that at all. Another great chapter, kept me on tenterhooks all the way through. Good pace. I nearly laughed too when her mum said bye at the station lol I wondered when Nick would be back in it. Alex :)
Comment Written 01-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2012
-
I'm so glad your still enjoying it. It's encouragement like this that keeps me going. Thank you! Alexis x
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Oh no, Mike dead. Wasn't expecting the accident to be so intense. Yet you wrote it perfectly.
There was a great deal of mixed emotion for me as I read this, partly due to the separation of Lisa and Allan.
Those characters have embedded within me as if they are real.
Overall another wonderful chapter to read.
I would add a few of the endearments to your author notes since they are not used or known across the pond. (As below)
Great work Alexis, you have me considerably saddened with the events in this chapter. I feel sorrow and worried, proving you captured me completely with the story....
Thanks for sharing.
Maureen
wc spills a tear..:(
Edit/suggestions:
" "Alan, love, we're taking you to the hospital-- hang on in there for me, okay?"" // Readers over hear may question her use of the word 'love'.
" "Come on Alan-- you've got to hang on, pet," she urged, as her colleague closed the doors." // Same thing as 'pet'.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2012
|
Oh no, Mike dead. Wasn't expecting the accident to be so intense. Yet you wrote it perfectly.
There was a great deal of mixed emotion for me as I read this, partly due to the separation of Lisa and Allan.
Those characters have embedded within me as if they are real.
Overall another wonderful chapter to read.
I would add a few of the endearments to your author notes since they are not used or known across the pond. (As below)
Great work Alexis, you have me considerably saddened with the events in this chapter. I feel sorrow and worried, proving you captured me completely with the story....
Thanks for sharing.
Maureen
wc spills a tear..:(
Edit/suggestions:
" "Alan, love, we're taking you to the hospital-- hang on in there for me, okay?"" // Readers over hear may question her use of the word 'love'.
" "Come on Alan-- you've got to hang on, pet," she urged, as her colleague closed the doors." // Same thing as 'pet'.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2012
-
You know Maureen, when I'm editing I often think of you and ask myself what you will think. I have, as usual, used your suggestions. You are an inspiration! Thank you, wc, Alexis x
