Park upon the lawn
Free verse competition entry17 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
Strong rhymes
raucaus sound - raucous
Great descriptive detail with strong sensory appeal that adds to the humor of your poem
good alliteration in squabbling singing
A fun look at the flip side of nature :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 20-May-2012
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Strong rhymes
raucaus sound - raucous
Great descriptive detail with strong sensory appeal that adds to the humor of your poem
good alliteration in squabbling singing
A fun look at the flip side of nature :-) Brooke
Comment Written 22-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 20-May-2012
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Thank you for your kind words and for reading and reviewing my poem. Will look at raucous. Thanks.
Comment from Capricorn30
A well written poem,about a problem that we can all relate to at one time or another--the muck that gets stuck on our vehicles. Oh yes,birds can be very noisy,especially when you want to sleep in late.
reply by the author on 20-May-2012
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A well written poem,about a problem that we can all relate to at one time or another--the muck that gets stuck on our vehicles. Oh yes,birds can be very noisy,especially when you want to sleep in late.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 20-May-2012
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Thank you for your kind words about my poem.
Comment from robina1978
Don't know where under a tree you were sleeping to get so disturbed by the birds. Only see some end rhyme to make it into a free verse. But it is original, most would kill for a sleep like this. Best wishes for the contest.
reply by the author on 20-May-2012
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Don't know where under a tree you were sleeping to get so disturbed by the birds. Only see some end rhyme to make it into a free verse. But it is original, most would kill for a sleep like this. Best wishes for the contest.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 20-May-2012
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Thanks for reading and reviewing my poem. We were on holiday in our caravan in South Australia. Great spot, lovely holiday except for the muck on the van. After washing it off twice my husband decided to take my advice and move away from the tree.
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Men don't take our advice in one time, mine doesn't. Enjoy the rest of your holiday.
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We have been back home since Feb. but are still enjoying the memories. Robyn
Comment from Vladilynn
Camping up the trees? Never had that before....it sounds interesting but I wish that, I'm 25 years younger then, maybe. Lolz
I like how you showed the free verse style one of my favorite form of a poem and also some of the folks here. This will be a tough competition, I believed but good luck for you!! You might get lucky!
Wish for you luck in the contest.
Love much,
Lynn:0)
Nice meeting you!
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2012
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Camping up the trees? Never had that before....it sounds interesting but I wish that, I'm 25 years younger then, maybe. Lolz
I like how you showed the free verse style one of my favorite form of a poem and also some of the folks here. This will be a tough competition, I believed but good luck for you!! You might get lucky!
Wish for you luck in the contest.
Love much,
Lynn:0)
Nice meeting you!
Comment Written 22-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2012
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Hi Lynn,
We were parked in our caravan under the tree where these dear sweet birds dropped mountains of muck on us. The competition has ended but I just felt like promoting this one again as it was well received the first time round.
Thanks for reading it.
Regards
Robyn
Comment from hollyinvesuvianite
I loved this cute, clever and quirky piece of work about birds not-so-cute attributes. I am working in Hawaii right now, and it is the sound of parrots (gorgeous green that they are) that wake a person up at 6 am. :) Holly
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2012
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I loved this cute, clever and quirky piece of work about birds not-so-cute attributes. I am working in Hawaii right now, and it is the sound of parrots (gorgeous green that they are) that wake a person up at 6 am. :) Holly
Comment Written 22-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2012
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That's it, you've got it too. We moved the van after two mornings of cleaning huge amounts of muck off the van.
Regards
Robyn
Comment from peggles
I thought this is a good poem
It has rhyme and style
Your wording made me laugh
I think you are right leave the morning song till at least ten especially on a Sunday
Well done with this entry and good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2012
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I thought this is a good poem
It has rhyme and style
Your wording made me laugh
I think you are right leave the morning song till at least ten especially on a Sunday
Well done with this entry and good luck in the contest
Comment Written 04-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2012
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Thank you
Comment from bkbehera
I do, like the churning sound of the birds coming from the densely crowded tree partly lighted with the red rays scatted from the dusk. It is a nicely composed poem reflecting the musical event of nature, in a melodic form.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2012
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I do, like the churning sound of the birds coming from the densely crowded tree partly lighted with the red rays scatted from the dusk. It is a nicely composed poem reflecting the musical event of nature, in a melodic form.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2012
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Thank you for reviewing my poem.
Comment from Galactia
beautiful poem.
favourite verse....
Birds arguing,
Squabbling,
Singing to the morn.
If you have any sense,
Don't get tense.
Park upon the lawn
If you want to sleep past dawn.
I thought it was comical :))
Regards
Tia
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2012
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beautiful poem.
favourite verse....
Birds arguing,
Squabbling,
Singing to the morn.
If you have any sense,
Don't get tense.
Park upon the lawn
If you want to sleep past dawn.
I thought it was comical :))
Regards
Tia
Comment Written 04-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2012
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Thanks for enjoying my poem.
Comment from bowls
I like the way your poem rattles along almost imitating the ado the birds are provoking. You bring to mind great visual as well as audible images. I think you've spelled raucous incorrectly.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2012
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I like the way your poem rattles along almost imitating the ado the birds are provoking. You bring to mind great visual as well as audible images. I think you've spelled raucous incorrectly.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2012
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I changed it because somebody else said it was wrong. I don't have a dictionary with me. Ah but I can look it up online. Thank you for reading and reviewing.
Comment from Amy Comstock
This is quite nice. I must ask, do you know where the photo was taken and what kind of birds they are? I love your description..good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2012
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This is quite nice. I must ask, do you know where the photo was taken and what kind of birds they are? I love your description..good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 01-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2012
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All my photos are my own. I love to take photos of beautiful places and wildlife when I am on holidays. The birds are parrots and they were at Coffin Bay in South Australia. This really happened. I wrote the poem as they were screaching to the dawn. There were hundreds of them. I took the photo a little later when there was more light. Thank you for reading the poem and enjoying it.
