The Patriot Act
Another look at history34 total reviews
Comment from purrfect tale
I enjoyed seeing this story unfold through the eyes of the gardener. Not sure I believe if was Mrs. Gage, but it worked well for this. The last line was a hoot.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
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I enjoyed seeing this story unfold through the eyes of the gardener. Not sure I believe if was Mrs. Gage, but it worked well for this. The last line was a hoot.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
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Thank you, purr. I'm not sure it was Margaret, either, but the rumor persists, and it makes for a good story. I'm glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from Sissy
Hi Lee,
Oh, seriously good contest entry!!! Love the language of it, and I love how you tell us the story through Jubal's eyes and voice. Really well done. I'm a big fan of American History, more Civil War the Revolutionary War, but this is so up my alley.
One small thing, and you are going to laugh at me:
Mr. Dawes, and Mr. Revere, right?" (kick extra spacing b/w 'Dawes,' and 'and')
Good luck in the contest! I haven't seen this contest, but it looks interesting!
Take care,
Sissy
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
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Hi Lee,
Oh, seriously good contest entry!!! Love the language of it, and I love how you tell us the story through Jubal's eyes and voice. Really well done. I'm a big fan of American History, more Civil War the Revolutionary War, but this is so up my alley.
One small thing, and you are going to laugh at me:
Mr. Dawes, and Mr. Revere, right?" (kick extra spacing b/w 'Dawes,' and 'and')
Good luck in the contest! I haven't seen this contest, but it looks interesting!
Take care,
Sissy
Comment Written 25-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
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That's funny, Sissy, I started to write a Civil War story for this contest, then I came across this little tidbit about Mrs. Gage, and I couldn't resist. Thank you so much. Peace, Lee
Comment from pattipac
Enjoyed reading 'The Patriot Act.' You set the scene with the freeman working in the Doctor's garden, wondering why the lady visits so often. Like the way your discuss the various reasons before telling the real purpose of her visit. Your use of dialogue add to the reality of your story.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
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Enjoyed reading 'The Patriot Act.' You set the scene with the freeman working in the Doctor's garden, wondering why the lady visits so often. Like the way your discuss the various reasons before telling the real purpose of her visit. Your use of dialogue add to the reality of your story.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
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Thank you, Patricia. I'm delighted you enjoyed my entry. Peace, Lee
Comment from ~Dovey
I liked the vernacular you used with your character, Jubal. You wove a very plausible story into the historic facts on record. Excellent work. I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
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I liked the vernacular you used with your character, Jubal. You wove a very plausible story into the historic facts on record. Excellent work. I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
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Thank you, Dovey, I very much appreciate your review and comments. Peace, Lee
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Great authentic feel to this, Lee. Played out in my head, just as all your work does. You got the dialogue perfectly. Loved Jubal's mother's words - great piece of wisdom. And a nice bit of history told in your notes.
Good work, my friend. (Even if I am from the losing side.) Oops - time for a spot of tea! :o)
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
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Great authentic feel to this, Lee. Played out in my head, just as all your work does. You got the dialogue perfectly. Loved Jubal's mother's words - great piece of wisdom. And a nice bit of history told in your notes.
Good work, my friend. (Even if I am from the losing side.) Oops - time for a spot of tea! :o)
Comment Written 25-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
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Thank you so much, Av. I'm glad you enjoyed this. History just begs to be told by individuals. Thank again (even if you are a Limey). Peace, Lee
Comment from livingwords
Excellent post, Lee. They should teach history in school using characterizations like this. Makes it easier to identify with the times and position of the common people. Great job. Dan :))
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
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Excellent post, Lee. They should teach history in school using characterizations like this. Makes it easier to identify with the times and position of the common people. Great job. Dan :))
Comment Written 25-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
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Thank you, Dan. Sometimes I forget that history often ignores the common man. Peace, Lee
Comment from Narvik
Hey Lee, love to see a dialect-based narrative again. That's hard to pull off but you do it.
I can't recall reading any historical fiction of this type from you before. You should consider doing more of it.
Jubal's descriptive observations of the upper class are just how I've always pictured them.
My only reservation is that this could be a lot longer. Or I could see this as a continuing saga (a la Bumpus or Four-Bits) with Jubal experiencing different aspects of the revolution. This could be a good first chapter, especially how you ended it hinting at what's to come (with the garden metaphor).
Incidentally, from what I've read, the only reason Paul Revere gets more credit for this incident than Dawes is because "Revere" rhymes with "Listen my children and you shall here."
Good job as always, Lee. And thanks for the author's notes. they helped me to appreciate this even more.
~ Erik
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
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Hey Lee, love to see a dialect-based narrative again. That's hard to pull off but you do it.
I can't recall reading any historical fiction of this type from you before. You should consider doing more of it.
Jubal's descriptive observations of the upper class are just how I've always pictured them.
My only reservation is that this could be a lot longer. Or I could see this as a continuing saga (a la Bumpus or Four-Bits) with Jubal experiencing different aspects of the revolution. This could be a good first chapter, especially how you ended it hinting at what's to come (with the garden metaphor).
Incidentally, from what I've read, the only reason Paul Revere gets more credit for this incident than Dawes is because "Revere" rhymes with "Listen my children and you shall here."
Good job as always, Lee. And thanks for the author's notes. they helped me to appreciate this even more.
~ Erik
Comment Written 25-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
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Hey, Erik! Yes, this was a little bit like visiting Bumpus again. I kept it short because of the contest---long pieces seem to get fewer votes---see, I'm a whore, too.
I haven't written much true historical fiction, but I often rely on history to give me ideas. I have an idea for a story based on two guys in the crowd while Lincoln is giving his famous House Divided speech---kind of running commentary from two average joes.
Anyway, CJ, thank you so much for your kind review. Peace, Lee
Comment from Sasha
I hated history in school, the teachers put me to sleep. This is a marvelous story of an important part of our history and knowing the main character is fictional adds a fascinating POV to what my teachers (unlike you)would have made oh so boring. If you had been one of my teachers, maybe I would have actually passed the class and learned something. This is a terrific entry for this contest and I sincerely wish you all the best.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
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I hated history in school, the teachers put me to sleep. This is a marvelous story of an important part of our history and knowing the main character is fictional adds a fascinating POV to what my teachers (unlike you)would have made oh so boring. If you had been one of my teachers, maybe I would have actually passed the class and learned something. This is a terrific entry for this contest and I sincerely wish you all the best.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
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Hey, Sasha, I think you've learned plenty. I'm delighted that you enjoyed my entry. Thank you so much for the review. Luego, Lee
Comment from DIS-illusioned
--"she take his help, a'right, but then just walk on by, don't think to say no thank you. Them kind never do."
I think we still have this 'kind' even today. Sad.
--"First breath we ever take, Jubal, come out with a bawlin' complaint. And we ain't never stop complainin' an' bawlin' 'til we run clean outta breath and just cain't complain no more."
What a value system--so sad!
--"the more a body got, the more a body got to complain 'bout---and the more breath he got to spend doin' it, too."
Interesting philosophy--and true.
--The 'planting' of the revolution. Good historical edification.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
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--"she take his help, a'right, but then just walk on by, don't think to say no thank you. Them kind never do."
I think we still have this 'kind' even today. Sad.
--"First breath we ever take, Jubal, come out with a bawlin' complaint. And we ain't never stop complainin' an' bawlin' 'til we run clean outta breath and just cain't complain no more."
What a value system--so sad!
--"the more a body got, the more a body got to complain 'bout---and the more breath he got to spend doin' it, too."
Interesting philosophy--and true.
--The 'planting' of the revolution. Good historical edification.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
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Thank you, Bay, especially for calling out the paragraph about breathin' and complainin'---that came out of nowhere. I love it when that happens. Thanks again, bro. Peace, Lee
Comment from Spitfire
A clever POV- that of a 14 year old black boy. Love the naughty thoughts about the lady and the doctor. A humorous touch. Excellent commentary of the times with Jubal's observation of the fine lady's lack of manners. Dynamite ending with the mention of Revere and then the double meaning on growing a garden. Your usual excellent work, my friend.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
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A clever POV- that of a 14 year old black boy. Love the naughty thoughts about the lady and the doctor. A humorous touch. Excellent commentary of the times with Jubal's observation of the fine lady's lack of manners. Dynamite ending with the mention of Revere and then the double meaning on growing a garden. Your usual excellent work, my friend.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
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Thank you, Spitfire. I love your reviews. You are observant, and you review like a writer. Thank you so much. Peace, Lee
