Reviews from

The Patriot Act

Another look at history

34 total reviews 
Comment from sugardog
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Wow...this was really good. Well done. I did have to read it a few times, because I wasn't totally familiar with it. But I loved the way you told this fictional rendition of the story. You have so many stories inside of you. Wonderful!!! Enjoyable!!! Dana

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 27-Jan-2012
    Thank you so much, Sugar. I'm delighted you enjoyed this. The notion that Mrs. Gage may have been a spy fascinates me. Thank you aain, Dana. Peace, Lee
Comment from IndianaIrish
Excellent
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Using the eyes of a fourteen-year-old black kid and giving him a major role in this particular story of history makes your story so real to me, hw, and it's brilliant. I like this kid and his comment that he thought she was seeing the doctor for a fever other than illness ... made me smile. His mama's comment about our first breath being a "bawlin' complaint" is just a great comment and fits so well into the political turmoil of the time.

Events in history as portrayed by everyday people as part of the story would be something right up your alley, Lee, and would make for a great read. Would love to know what Jub thought as he saddled up the horses for the ride. You got me thinking and wondering beyond what the history story says.

As always, I wish I had a sixer, and best of luck in the contest,humpwhistle.

Indy

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 27-Jan-2012
    Hey, Indy, thank you. Sometimes I forget that history 'happens' to the little people, too. It's fun think about that. I think I'll write a few more of these 'little' moments. Thank you again, Indy. Peace, Lee
Comment from pnkglo
Excellent
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There was the need for me to ponder over your story to get the right meaning. It finally soaked in and I enjoyed it very much. The fictional Jubal adds a lot to some plain cold facts. pnkglo

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
    Thank you, pnkglo. I know this story is a bit oblique, but I was trying to be coy. I'm glad you enjoyed it anyway. Peace, Lee
Comment from Larrypic11
Excellent
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A beautiful job with this one. My only suggestion is that cuckold may be a word out of Jubal's or the narrators ken. You have a great gift with dialect. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Be well. Larry

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
    Thank you, Larry. As usual you were astute enough to pick out a word that I am unsure of, too. After trying several alteratives, I kept returning to 'cuckold'. It is the most direct word I could find, and I reasoned---rightly or wrongly---that the word might well have been in more common usage in 1775.
    Am I on thin ice, Larry? Thank you again. Peace, Lee
reply by Larrypic11 on 26-Jan-2012
    You're always on thin ice, Lee. You write stuff for the picky public:-) I think I might have avoided the word altogether just to be on the safe side. Take care. Larry
Comment from irishauthorme
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Watching the story unfold through the eyes of fourteen-year-old Jubal Worth, hearing his earthy thoughts and speculations was facinating, and set the stage for the rest of the story. He came alive, recalling his mother's words to justify the difference between his poor existence and Margaret Gage's rich clothing. To his credit, he felt some loyalty toward the good doctor and had some hint of the penalties of conspiring against the British Crown.
Just enough to-the-point dialogue.
Thank you for the reminder of those brave men who risked everything for the freedom we now enjoy. Remarkable that Doctor Warren and William Dawes are almost lost to history, but everyone knows Paul Revere. Could it be because of;
"Hush my children and you shall hear,
Of the midnight ride of Paul Revere . . ."
An inspiring story, well told and succinctly written.
irish

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
    Irish, thank you for this generous and insightful review. I think it is a solid theory that Longfellow's poem seperated Revere from the others---still, Revere was a more 'public' figure at the time. Warren was the the one who received the intelligence, and dispatched the two riders. They should all be recognized, but it isn't Revere's fault that he gets so much credit. I'm delighted that you enjoyed this story, and thank you again for all the stars. Peace, Lee
Comment from adewpearl
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Love Jubal's speculations about the doctor's frequent house calls :-)
Love the observation that her fancy clothes probably cost more than Jubal himself
Love the comments about the first breath after birth
Love the speculation about what the general's wife is up to
Oh, the reference to Mr Dawes and Revere has me smiling - I've been witness to such an important historical transaction and I didn't even realize it, which I damn well should have considering the date at the top LOL
Wonderful closing :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
    Thank you so much, Brooke. How is it that you have a six for me, and I don't for you? I think my gumball machine is broken!
    I was hoping you'd like this---it seems like the kind of thing we share. I think it's cool that you read the story without anticipating the 'punchline'. Thank you again. Peace, Lee
Comment from Soledadpaz
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

That second paragraph is so very graphic yet so very gray. Only you can take us there and snap us back in no time flat. The double entendre of "deeper" is masterful. It tickles my erotic bone. Guess I'm in that kind of mood this morning.

Great story, the men always get the credit, but the women are the silent movers and shakers. Always been that way and always will be. Ask Eve.

Paz, Az

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
    Thank you, Azucar. I wondered if anyone would get my reference to deeper. Jubal is a savvy kid. I loved reading the suggestion that Margaret might have been the mole. Had to make up a story. Thank you again, Az. Paz, Lee
Comment from N.K. Wagner
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Lee, this is an excellent piece of historical fiction.

Keeping in mind that only a third of the colonists wanted independence (another third were loyalists, and the rest just wanted to be left alone), it's perfectly reasonable to think that a native-born colonist might have different loyalties than a recent immigrant or Crown appointee. The information certainly came from someone highly placed in the colonial government. And a highly placed lady might be willing to be thought indiscrete to further such an important cause.

I'm not allowed to give you a six yet, but this story deserves one. (A 6, not a 1).

:D Nancy

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
    Thank you, Nancy. Sixes are not important when we're talking about life, liberty, and the pursuit of Value Meals.
    I'm glad you liked this. You just have to admire the audacity of these people. If Margaret Kemple Gage really sold out her husband and the Crown, she deserves a coin. Thanks again, Nancy. Peace, Lee
reply by N.K. Wagner on 26-Jan-2012
    Or she deserved to be hung as a traitor. Depends on which side of the fence you're standing on. The American Revolution as seen from the British perspective is fascinating. Very much Britain's Vietnam. Ever wonder which third you'd have been included in? I have.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
    I'd have been scooting my ass out to the Rocky Mountains.
reply by N.K. Wagner on 26-Jan-2012
    A valid choice for one with the skills to survive without "value meals". :D
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
    Hey, I can survive on Whoppers if I have to. I'm rugged.
reply by N.K. Wagner on 26-Jan-2012
    "Humpwhistle's Buffalo Burgers" - a new franchise restaurant chain is born! Kinda like Shoney's along the game trails. I can see it now... :D
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
    Hump and buffalo! I like it. Did you mean the Shoshone game trail?
reply by N.K. Wagner on 26-Jan-2012
    Of course! :D
Comment from Cooper Watt
Excellent
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Cool story, Lee. Perfectly and entirely plausible. They could make a movie outta that shit right there, brother ala The Help (which I just watched the other night and thought was excellent!). A movie told from the perspective of the slaves during that time.... I guess Glory is that league, eh?

Anyway -- I thoroughly enjoyed the way you told your story, the narrative following the same "uneducated" speech patterns, etc.

You should do well, as always.

Sincerely,
Coop.

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
    Thanks, Coop. I'm glad you enjoyed. I just started reading The Help. Later, bro. Peace, Lee
Comment from Realist101
Excellent
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HI Lee! Great history, and well written with good dialect and smooth storyline. As always, your work shines with skill and real enjoyment...this is one you should continue too! VERY interesting...Jubal is a good character! I'm sending you a virtual six, and a virtual hug too. :) Susan

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
    Hey, Suse, and thank you so much. This has got me thinking of Bumpus again. I'm glad you enjoyed. Sorry I'm behind on my reviewing. Peace, Lee
reply by Realist101 on 26-Jan-2012
    Not to worry, Lee! I hope to hear from Bumpus soon too! Hug! Susan