The Patriot Act
Another look at history34 total reviews
Comment from e.m.robinson
I enjoyed this. Good dialogue to the story. I especially enjoyed the accompanying author notes. Very interesting. I like to see young people in the historical pieces, and I have always liked to see the name Jubal. Somewhat familiar with Jubal Early. Well-written. All the best to you.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
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I enjoyed this. Good dialogue to the story. I especially enjoyed the accompanying author notes. Very interesting. I like to see young people in the historical pieces, and I have always liked to see the name Jubal. Somewhat familiar with Jubal Early. Well-written. All the best to you.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
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Thank you, e.m.robinson, for your generous and thoughtful comments. Much appreciated. Peace, Lee
Comment from forestport12
Loved the snap shot in history. Boy, the dialogue sure felt authentic to me.But the interaction between characters was wonderful.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
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Loved the snap shot in history. Boy, the dialogue sure felt authentic to me.But the interaction between characters was wonderful.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
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Thank you, Stan. I'm glad you enjoyed, and I appreciate the thoughtful comments. Peace, Lee
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Knowing what I know about history, I am sure there was a character much like Jubal Worth there. It would surprise me if there wasn't. You did a wonderful job writing this. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2012
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Knowing what I know about history, I am sure there was a character much like Jubal Worth there. It would surprise me if there wasn't. You did a wonderful job writing this. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2012
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Thank you, Barbara. While I researched this I discovered that one-third of the colonial fighters at Breed's Hill were black. I think Jubal might be one of them in another story. Thank you again. Peace, Lee
Comment from dbmccarter
I like this look at history through a fictional character's eyes. At first, I didn't get the language but on a second read it made perfect sense. Glad to see you know more about Paul Revere than Sarah Palin. Hope you are doing better.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2012
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I like this look at history through a fictional character's eyes. At first, I didn't get the language but on a second read it made perfect sense. Glad to see you know more about Paul Revere than Sarah Palin. Hope you are doing better.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2012
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thank you, dbmccarter. I do have a dencency to write in dialect.
I appreciate you sticking with it. And yes, I am doing better. Thank you for asking. Peace, Lee
Comment from Judian James
I LOVED this but alas, the sixer fairy won't allow another one for you from me just yet. I try so hard not to quote you but how could I not when you write something like this:
"Jubal take in her fancy clothes. Prob'bly cost more money than Jubal---born a freeman, mind you---can make in all his days choppin' clods and pullin' weeds in Dr. Joseph Warren's kitchen garden. But he ain't really complainin'. Not 'bout the doctor, surely, an' not even 'bout the lady. He complainin' 'cause his mama tell him that be the cost of breathin'." Marvelous, my friend. Just a brilliant piece of writing.
"First breath we ever take, Jubal, come out with a bawlin' complaint. And we ain't never stop complainin' an' bawlin' 'til we run clean outta breath and just cain't complain no more. It's the way of the worl', chil'. Breathin' and complainin' is just the same as water an' wet, y'see? Jes' cain't keep 'em apart. An' that goes for rich white folks, too, Jub. Truth is, the more a body got, the more a body got to complain 'bout---and the more breath he got to spend doin' it, too." Okay, I'm done except to say, you are one helluva writer, Lee and please bring us more chapters to this extraordinary beginning into this young man's life. SUPERB story-telling. The winning entry for sure.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2012
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I LOVED this but alas, the sixer fairy won't allow another one for you from me just yet. I try so hard not to quote you but how could I not when you write something like this:
"Jubal take in her fancy clothes. Prob'bly cost more money than Jubal---born a freeman, mind you---can make in all his days choppin' clods and pullin' weeds in Dr. Joseph Warren's kitchen garden. But he ain't really complainin'. Not 'bout the doctor, surely, an' not even 'bout the lady. He complainin' 'cause his mama tell him that be the cost of breathin'." Marvelous, my friend. Just a brilliant piece of writing.
"First breath we ever take, Jubal, come out with a bawlin' complaint. And we ain't never stop complainin' an' bawlin' 'til we run clean outta breath and just cain't complain no more. It's the way of the worl', chil'. Breathin' and complainin' is just the same as water an' wet, y'see? Jes' cain't keep 'em apart. An' that goes for rich white folks, too, Jub. Truth is, the more a body got, the more a body got to complain 'bout---and the more breath he got to spend doin' it, too." Okay, I'm done except to say, you are one helluva writer, Lee and please bring us more chapters to this extraordinary beginning into this young man's life. SUPERB story-telling. The winning entry for sure.
Comment Written 27-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2012
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Oh, Jude, thank you so much. You are too sweet. Sometimes, the character takes over and tells me something way beyond my ken. That paragraph is a case in point. Thank you again. Peace, Lee
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I love your work and am grateful every day that we found each other and became fans. Superb Lee!
Comment from WilliamDeen
Your story, The Patriot Act, is very interesting indeed. Revere and William Dawes rode from Boston to Lexington to warn John Hancock and Samuel Adams that British soldiers were marching from Boston to Lexington to arrest Hancock and Adams and seize the weapons . Longfellow gave sole credit to Revere for the collective achievements of three riders
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2012
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Your story, The Patriot Act, is very interesting indeed. Revere and William Dawes rode from Boston to Lexington to warn John Hancock and Samuel Adams that British soldiers were marching from Boston to Lexington to arrest Hancock and Adams and seize the weapons . Longfellow gave sole credit to Revere for the collective achievements of three riders
Comment Written 27-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2012
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You're right, William. Revere was more of a public figure at the time. The irony is that the Colonists knew weeks before that Concord had been targeted, and had already moved the arms the British were trying to sieze or destroy. Hancock and Adams were secondary targets. But how did the Colonists know so much? That is the question that fascinates me. Could it have been Mrs. Gage? Thank you, William. I really appreciate the read and the review. Peace, Lee
Comment from psalmist
I really enjoy historical novels that use actual events and persons, but told from the viewpoint of a fictional character. Great use of vernacular language, which made it seem more real. This would make the beginnings of a terrific book. Enjoyable and informative. Linda
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2012
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I really enjoy historical novels that use actual events and persons, but told from the viewpoint of a fictional character. Great use of vernacular language, which made it seem more real. This would make the beginnings of a terrific book. Enjoyable and informative. Linda
Comment Written 27-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2012
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Thank you, Linda. I too enjoy history more when it's told from a personal perspective. I'm glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from Patti R.
This is a really well written story. The voice of Jubal is believable. His thoughts and summations add meat to the story. Not being American, the overall picture was vague to me. I relied on your notes to help me piece it together. I also don't understand why it was notable that Margaret was born in New Jersey...what does that imply? Underneath it all, a war is started by people, plain and simple...here you have reminded us of that.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2012
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This is a really well written story. The voice of Jubal is believable. His thoughts and summations add meat to the story. Not being American, the overall picture was vague to me. I relied on your notes to help me piece it together. I also don't understand why it was notable that Margaret was born in New Jersey...what does that imply? Underneath it all, a war is started by people, plain and simple...here you have reminded us of that.
Comment Written 27-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2012
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Ah, Patti,I was afraid I'd be leaving many readers out of the loop. History, afterall, tends to be parochial.
Margaret was born in New Jersey---one of the American Colonies---therefore one can question whether her loyalties resided with her 'English' husband, or her 'American' countrymen. The Americans clearly had a highly placed informant, but history has yet to reveal who it was. Margaret is but one of a handful of possibilities. I hope that makes things a little clearer.
My special thanks, for reading and reviewing my American-centric story. I'm delighted that you could feel it on Jubal's level.
Thank you again. Peace, Lee
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Aha! and you're welcome.
Comment from KiwiGal
Oh - I've obviously used up my 6s on your other work!
I think, although I love it all, that you excel most when bringing history alive. You should be a screen writer/playwright.
We can live another time with you - and through a 'bit' player who describes the different rungs of society beautifully, and draws us musingly to the conclusion and the unfolding of a pretty plausible scenario.
Although 'cuckold' is an appropriate word for this time in history, would it have been in a 14 y.o. black boy's repertoire? Peu importe. I'm more fascinated by the sound you give horses' hooves; from time immemorial, it's been 'clip clop'. Yours sounds like a horse with loose shoes, hehe.
Another winner, no doubt....
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2012
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Oh - I've obviously used up my 6s on your other work!
I think, although I love it all, that you excel most when bringing history alive. You should be a screen writer/playwright.
We can live another time with you - and through a 'bit' player who describes the different rungs of society beautifully, and draws us musingly to the conclusion and the unfolding of a pretty plausible scenario.
Although 'cuckold' is an appropriate word for this time in history, would it have been in a 14 y.o. black boy's repertoire? Peu importe. I'm more fascinated by the sound you give horses' hooves; from time immemorial, it's been 'clip clop'. Yours sounds like a horse with loose shoes, hehe.
Another winner, no doubt....
Comment Written 27-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2012
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"The moon was a ghostly galleon, tossed upon cloudy seas,
the road was a a ribbon of moonlight...' Alfred Noyes, The Highwayman. Heidi, I stole tlot, tlot from from Mr Noyes' poem.
An homage, if you will. When I first read that poem I was totally amazed. For me, tlot, tlot, will always be the sound of horses hooves on cobblestone. As for cuckold, I'm still not sure. The word nearly archaic now, but it might have been in common usage in 1775. Jubal was clearly sexually aware, and inquisitive. I have considered swapping cuckoo for cuckold---suggesting that Jubal's grasp of the concept was better than his grasp of the word. Opinion?
Heidi, thank you so much. You make me feel like a real writer.
I'm thinking of writing more of these 'historical' moments.
But my knowledge of history is much more nuanced in the Americas.
Am I too parochial? Peace, Lee
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Re the last - probably just lazy, hehe. It's easier to write about one's own history because there's too much basic research in another's and you've got all your accents down pat.
It doesn't matter - you've got a lot of history to cover and it'll all be good.
Cuckolding itself may have been common, but I doubt very much it was a word used to describe the act outside the educated (White) classes. 'Cuckoo' would be wrong as they're two distinct words today; that simply means someone who doesn't belong, or is out of place; 'cuckold' being a French word ('cucuault' - and remember they spoke French at the English Court) is much more literal; just replace 'egg' with the part of the anatomy that creates it!
To shut me up, I'm thinking the boy would have used a word/phrase that was indigenous to his own kind ('Black'speak)- sump'm his grandmother would have said... and I'm not even going to try and create one; you'll be able to do that infinitely better than I, and I'll nod my head and say 'Yes, that's what I meant'.....
Comment from Bellringer
Lee, Exceptional historical tale. Your writing is crisp; the dialogue is outstanding and the references to Revere and Dawes increased the significance of the tale. Love that closing sentence--America was what was growing already! Strong contender in this contest. Blessings, Hector
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2012
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Lee, Exceptional historical tale. Your writing is crisp; the dialogue is outstanding and the references to Revere and Dawes increased the significance of the tale. Love that closing sentence--America was what was growing already! Strong contender in this contest. Blessings, Hector
Comment Written 27-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2012
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Thank you, Hector. I'm delighted you enjoyed this. Peace, Lee
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You're welcome, Lee. Got my vote. Blessings, Hector
