Amongst The Shadows Of My Heart
a triolet44 total reviews
Comment from Joan E.
I am pleased you have found time in your busy schedule to create and post a triolet. There are not may FanStorians who write in this appealing form that you manage so well. I admired both your repeating lines and your pure rhymes in this evocative poem. -Joan
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
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I am pleased you have found time in your busy schedule to create and post a triolet. There are not may FanStorians who write in this appealing form that you manage so well. I admired both your repeating lines and your pure rhymes in this evocative poem. -Joan
Comment Written 26-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
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Thanks for an excellent review. I am most appreciative.
Comment from Allezw2
Master ATE,
Tis and interesting play on the words that elicit an emotional sense loss.
" . . . the shadows of my heart" is particularly evocative.
Nicely done,
Fantasist
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
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Master ATE,
Tis and interesting play on the words that elicit an emotional sense loss.
" . . . the shadows of my heart" is particularly evocative.
Nicely done,
Fantasist
Comment Written 26-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
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Thanks for an excellent review; I hope to get to some of your work soon.
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The pleasure was mine.
Comment from mountainwriter49
Alvin,
This is sterling poetry at its best and
I did so enjoy reading it several times
tonight. It is haunting to me, for reasons
you well know. The last two lines of the
poem are bittersweet, for sure, and anyone
who has suffered a loss or in midst of
unrequited love can surely relate to this
wonderful poem.
It is so good to see you posting again, my friend.
-Ray
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
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Alvin,
This is sterling poetry at its best and
I did so enjoy reading it several times
tonight. It is haunting to me, for reasons
you well know. The last two lines of the
poem are bittersweet, for sure, and anyone
who has suffered a loss or in midst of
unrequited love can surely relate to this
wonderful poem.
It is so good to see you posting again, my friend.
-Ray
Comment Written 25-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
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Yes, I thought of you when I wrote this. Thanks for an extraordinary review; I am most grateful. I hope to get to some of your work soon.
Comment from samandlancelot
Alvin,
This is beautiful. I love the words you chose for your repeating lines. I like that you are unclear about who you are speaking of, leaving the reader to make those interpretations. I see a place in your heart filled with pain, that if only it would move, or bend, you might have some relief. But the love there won't depart and won't budge. Your only recourse is to bear the burden and carry it with you wherever you go.
Patricia
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
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Alvin,
This is beautiful. I love the words you chose for your repeating lines. I like that you are unclear about who you are speaking of, leaving the reader to make those interpretations. I see a place in your heart filled with pain, that if only it would move, or bend, you might have some relief. But the love there won't depart and won't budge. Your only recourse is to bear the burden and carry it with you wherever you go.
Patricia
Comment Written 25-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
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Thanks for an exceptional and understanding review. Welcome back! Will I see you in a class again soon?
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I've prayed about classes, but God hasn't taken me in that direction yet. I'm ready for whatever He wants. It is so good to be back. I love this place.
I did have a short story published this summer.
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Congratulatons! I am so happy for you. Tell me about the short story.
Comment from honeytree
The art work is great
The words very sincere ones for someone
One cares for.
One day maybe? One could meet this person again.
Honey tree
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
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The art work is great
The words very sincere ones for someone
One cares for.
One day maybe? One could meet this person again.
Honey tree
Comment Written 25-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
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Thanks for an extraordinary review. I am most grateful. How are things Down Under?
Comment from mchapman
Simply beautiful poetry. When I think of poetry this is what I have in mind. The words touch the emotional sensitivity of ones heart. It can be read several times and the message will be the same. Thank you for sharing. Your student.....Mary
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
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Simply beautiful poetry. When I think of poetry this is what I have in mind. The words touch the emotional sensitivity of ones heart. It can be read several times and the message will be the same. Thank you for sharing. Your student.....Mary
Comment Written 25-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
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Thanks for an extraordinary review, Mary. I am most grateful. Will I see you in a class again soon?
Comment from Belinda
Hi, Alvin. It's good to see you write again. I just love triolets, but this is not an excuse for liking this one...:) This is an perfect one, with the right words to describe the mood as well as adhere to the difficult rules of a triolet. I like repeating lines, the willows that could bend ... oops, practically all.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
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Hi, Alvin. It's good to see you write again. I just love triolets, but this is not an excuse for liking this one...:) This is an perfect one, with the right words to describe the mood as well as adhere to the difficult rules of a triolet. I like repeating lines, the willows that could bend ... oops, practically all.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2012
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Thanks for an exceptional review. I am most grateful. Yes, I had to take some time off from teaching so I could write!
Comment from Matoshka
Your picture and words are just so beautiful. It felt so soft, full of yearning, yet always there with you, your love in the shadows of your heart. I loved it. Blessings and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2012
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Your picture and words are just so beautiful. It felt so soft, full of yearning, yet always there with you, your love in the shadows of your heart. I loved it. Blessings and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2012
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Thanks for an excellent review. I am deeply appreciative.
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You are so welcome Alvin. It is just beautiful and the flow was as soft as the emotion. Blessings
Comment from Scribelle
In addition to meeting the triolet structure, the content flows without allowing the structure to interfere with it. I read this during a time of grief and have to say you have captured the emotions fully and deeply. I especially like the phrase "You dwell in time that does not end". It is so true, yet many expect time to move forward. This poem is so outstanding that I have bookmarked it to read over and over. Thank you for writing this.
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2012
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In addition to meeting the triolet structure, the content flows without allowing the structure to interfere with it. I read this during a time of grief and have to say you have captured the emotions fully and deeply. I especially like the phrase "You dwell in time that does not end". It is so true, yet many expect time to move forward. This poem is so outstanding that I have bookmarked it to read over and over. Thank you for writing this.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2012
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Thanks for an exceptional review. I am highly honored. When shall I see you in a class again?
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It will be awhile. My husband is going through testing to see how soon he will need a pacemaker. He had a fall at Christmas, complete with paramedics, bent neck and 22 stitches on his forehead. He was dizzy just before he fell in the kitchen. All this in the middle of renovation! Chaos & medical has to calm down before I can deal with anything else. I look forward to being in class again!
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Oh, I am so sorry. I hope things get better for you.
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Thank you! Eventually they will. I have faith that in all things we will find our way through both on our own and with God's help. Sometimes we float on smooth waves. Sometimes we are hit with a tidal wave of life. Just gotta swim with it.
Comment from rama devi
This is beautiful, Alvin--touching and deeply emotional. Lovely tone and pace to suit the poignant theme. Well written triolet. The repeated line-You dwell in time that does not end- is rich in phonetic, melodic flow and also in meaning...especially extended by repeating it--like never ending time.
These are my favorite lines--Amongst the shadows of my heart.
I wish, like willows, I could bend.
(Emotionally charged)
Nice work. A lovely presentation as well.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2012
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This is beautiful, Alvin--touching and deeply emotional. Lovely tone and pace to suit the poignant theme. Well written triolet. The repeated line-You dwell in time that does not end- is rich in phonetic, melodic flow and also in meaning...especially extended by repeating it--like never ending time.
These are my favorite lines--Amongst the shadows of my heart.
I wish, like willows, I could bend.
(Emotionally charged)
Nice work. A lovely presentation as well.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 25-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2012
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Thanks for an excellent review. I am highly appreciative.
