The Crown for Vegas
Crown of Heroic Sonnets115 total reviews
Comment from JW
Your poem is very well written. It definitely hooked me from the very beginning and I could not stop until the last word was read. For most of it I thought this was being written to a woman, until at the end where it was confirmed this was to the city.
Good job. JW
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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Your poem is very well written. It definitely hooked me from the very beginning and I could not stop until the last word was read. For most of it I thought this was being written to a woman, until at the end where it was confirmed this was to the city.
Good job. JW
Comment Written 15-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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Thank you so much for the great review.
Comment from Kingsland
This poem is far too long for my taste, but still well written with good imagery. Sometimes less is more. This is just my opinion. This is a five star performance all the way... John
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2012
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This poem is far too long for my taste, but still well written with good imagery. Sometimes less is more. This is just my opinion. This is a five star performance all the way... John
Comment Written 15-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2012
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John - please read the rules of this particular form; it was in the contest description. The crown of sonnets is a sequence of 7 sonnets of eighteen lines each. I could not make it less if I wanted to, the form has a specific length. You didn't have to review it if you felt it too long, but you've earned the big promotional dollars, so your time is not wasted.
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I didn't realize this was a contest. I just read the poem and didn't venture into looking at the rules of it. It was a very well written poem in any event...
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Thanks, John, for your words of encouragement. Hugs
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I added the description of the form in the author notes. It was an oversight. Thank you for pointing it out.
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No need to apologize. I should have seen that it was a contest and checked out the rules...
Comment from words
I enjoyed your ode to Vegas.
I understand well the pull of and love for a city.
You have captured the fascination with geography well here.
I have felt these feeling too:My Vegas love, my heart was left with thee,
I close my eyes and see your silhouette.
My love, however, is not Vegas but New Orleans.
Hugs,d
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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I enjoyed your ode to Vegas.
I understand well the pull of and love for a city.
You have captured the fascination with geography well here.
I have felt these feeling too:My Vegas love, my heart was left with thee,
I close my eyes and see your silhouette.
My love, however, is not Vegas but New Orleans.
Hugs,d
Comment Written 15-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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Thank you so much for the great review.
Comment from Amicus
Excellent crown sonnet...and a contemporary story in the poem that is both moving and well told. I like the fact that your language use is contemporary and your subject one that all can relate to...good job.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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Excellent crown sonnet...and a contemporary story in the poem that is both moving and well told. I like the fact that your language use is contemporary and your subject one that all can relate to...good job.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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Thank you so much for the great review and rating.
Comment from Bryana
Well Yeltel this is an amazing collection of sonnets, one more beautiful than the other, excellent rhyme and rhythm. I love these lines...
It took five days to reach your fairy land.
The car was carrying me to your abyss
I felt the touch of your caressing hand,
my cheeks beheld the blessing of your kiss.
Good luck in the contest dear friend.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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Well Yeltel this is an amazing collection of sonnets, one more beautiful than the other, excellent rhyme and rhythm. I love these lines...
It took five days to reach your fairy land.
The car was carrying me to your abyss
I felt the touch of your caressing hand,
my cheeks beheld the blessing of your kiss.
Good luck in the contest dear friend.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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Thank you so much for the great review. It means a lot to me. Love, Y.
Comment from june bug
Wow! What a fantastic poem. Loved the rhyming patterns and my favorite line was, "The Vegas moon bestowed it's silver shine," and " Your incandescent aura brings release." However, one line puzzles me. " Who said our suffering is not in vain? Then it seems to contradict that question with, "It strengthens our reserve, prepares the soul." I might take out the word, not. This was awesome poetic art so it is only a suggestion. Great job on the poetry. All the best to you.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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Wow! What a fantastic poem. Loved the rhyming patterns and my favorite line was, "The Vegas moon bestowed it's silver shine," and " Your incandescent aura brings release." However, one line puzzles me. " Who said our suffering is not in vain? Then it seems to contradict that question with, "It strengthens our reserve, prepares the soul." I might take out the word, not. This was awesome poetic art so it is only a suggestion. Great job on the poetry. All the best to you.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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Thank you so much for the great review - it means a lot to me. Y.
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You are very welcome. Best regards to you.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I applaud your sonnets. They are extremely descriptive and make your point loud and clear. I like the every other line rhyming scheme and I like the rhythm.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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I applaud your sonnets. They are extremely descriptive and make your point loud and clear. I like the every other line rhyming scheme and I like the rhythm.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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Thank
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello to you yeltel
What I liked about your sonnet(s) I could clearly understand what you were saying.
Very good example of how a sonnet should be written
( which I know I will never be able to do)
thank you for sharing your poetic talent.
Gert
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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Hello to you yeltel
What I liked about your sonnet(s) I could clearly understand what you were saying.
Very good example of how a sonnet should be written
( which I know I will never be able to do)
thank you for sharing your poetic talent.
Gert
Comment Written 15-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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Thank you so much for the great review, Gert. So glad to see you on my page! I hope all is well. Love, Y.
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You are welcome yeltel
Gert
Comment from Dawn of Tomorrow
That's very well done, Yelena. You certainly did the crown justice. Sorry I couldn't participate, my muse just has not been around too much these days, not really much since Michael passed. Perhaps one of these days I'll be able to pull one of these off. You did a great job with the meter and rhyme and the story was divine. So very descriptive. I'm amazed by all of you who have entered. I've read several of them and I think you created one heck of a contest, my dear.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2012
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That's very well done, Yelena. You certainly did the crown justice. Sorry I couldn't participate, my muse just has not been around too much these days, not really much since Michael passed. Perhaps one of these days I'll be able to pull one of these off. You did a great job with the meter and rhyme and the story was divine. So very descriptive. I'm amazed by all of you who have entered. I've read several of them and I think you created one heck of a contest, my dear.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2012
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Thank you, Dawn, for the great review. Sorry for your Muse, I know you had grieved Michael very deeply. But - he would have wanted you to write, and I think he is sad that you are unable to. They say, those across the Gate know everything. I appreciate your compliment of my contest - yes, the entries are amazing! I wish you the best, my dearest and please, please - write... You have such a divine pen.
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That was just a really rough year, I lost Mike and another friend from Fanstory, then my Father and my father-in-law both passed within two months of each other. I just lost the voice inside when all that happened, kind of strange, huh?
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My mother and my father died 3 days apart in January of 2007. This was the hardest year of my life. I did lose the "voice inside" myself - this is why I went to Vegas. And what it did to me you see from this Crown.
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Who else passed from FanStory?
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I don't know if you knew her or not, but she went by the screen name of Smiles with Sunshine
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No, I don't believe I knew her. RIP, dear Smiles.
Comment from TSPoet
The rhythm with the rhyme is excellent
This is a piece I truly enjoyed, very nice
The subject direction is pure and consistent
Good luck with your contest
TSPoet
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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The rhythm with the rhyme is excellent
This is a piece I truly enjoyed, very nice
The subject direction is pure and consistent
Good luck with your contest
TSPoet
Comment Written 15-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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Thank you so much for the great review and rating.
