The Crown for Vegas
Crown of Heroic Sonnets115 total reviews
Comment from sgalletti
Hello, dear friend Yeltel!
Congratulations on your sponsorship and monitoring of what I believe to be the most outstanding and highest quality challenge on this site. I am so impressed with the quality of the posts and the quality of the writers. You must be extremely proud and happy.
First, a cut and paste I sent to all of the contributors in this contest (then, I'm off to reviewing yours personally and individually):
To all of you:
"I admire your fortitude and perseverence so much! In my humble opinion, this contest sponsored by Yeltel is, by far, the most challenging and of highest quality, on this site. Having created two Crowns in the past ("I'll Sin For You Until I Die" and a lighter "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs") I know and appreciate how much time and creative energy goes into producing these magnificent pieces of writing. I tried my best. I could not muster it up. And, so, I gladly forfeit my $25 to the winner who persevered.
My review of your piece (yes, I read every verse) will not concentrate on repeating end rhymes, as I know from experience that Yeltel and others will take care of that in advance. Kudos to Yeltel for being a responsible contest sponsor.
I will, instead, focus on content, iambic meter, vivid imagery, and a holistic message.
Best to all of you in this contest."
Now, my friend, off to Vegas (one of my favorite places as well).
Of course I have followed you through your journey and know how Vegas helped literally "save you". You write to him/her as he/she is a person, which is most appropriate.
You also bring in images of the beautiful desert country to which I could definitely relate.
This poem was passionate, heartfelt, and honest to the core.
The only line I got caught up on (iambically) was the one that began "The thoughts..." (I could read it better, metrically, if you took out "the" before "heat"...
I really appreciated how you chose where to cap and not, to create enjambment and flow throughout the poem.
Wish I had enough sixes to give to ALL of you for this amazing journey and venture.
Love you bunches!
Sue
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2012
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Hello, dear friend Yeltel!
Congratulations on your sponsorship and monitoring of what I believe to be the most outstanding and highest quality challenge on this site. I am so impressed with the quality of the posts and the quality of the writers. You must be extremely proud and happy.
First, a cut and paste I sent to all of the contributors in this contest (then, I'm off to reviewing yours personally and individually):
To all of you:
"I admire your fortitude and perseverence so much! In my humble opinion, this contest sponsored by Yeltel is, by far, the most challenging and of highest quality, on this site. Having created two Crowns in the past ("I'll Sin For You Until I Die" and a lighter "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs") I know and appreciate how much time and creative energy goes into producing these magnificent pieces of writing. I tried my best. I could not muster it up. And, so, I gladly forfeit my $25 to the winner who persevered.
My review of your piece (yes, I read every verse) will not concentrate on repeating end rhymes, as I know from experience that Yeltel and others will take care of that in advance. Kudos to Yeltel for being a responsible contest sponsor.
I will, instead, focus on content, iambic meter, vivid imagery, and a holistic message.
Best to all of you in this contest."
Now, my friend, off to Vegas (one of my favorite places as well).
Of course I have followed you through your journey and know how Vegas helped literally "save you". You write to him/her as he/she is a person, which is most appropriate.
You also bring in images of the beautiful desert country to which I could definitely relate.
This poem was passionate, heartfelt, and honest to the core.
The only line I got caught up on (iambically) was the one that began "The thoughts..." (I could read it better, metrically, if you took out "the" before "heat"...
I really appreciated how you chose where to cap and not, to create enjambment and flow throughout the poem.
Wish I had enough sixes to give to ALL of you for this amazing journey and venture.
Love you bunches!
Sue
Comment Written 16-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2012
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Thanks, Sue, for this magnificent in all respects review and the compliment to my contest. I am sorry you couldn't participate. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for every exceptional word, and your appreciation; your friendship and support over the years. Love and hugs, your "Y".
Comment from Elizabeth Daniels
This was quite an undertaking. I do not think I would fair too well if I were to attempt it. Sounds like you are in love with the country around the city of Vegas. I've never been there. Maybe some day. Elizabeth Daniels.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
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This was quite an undertaking. I do not think I would fair too well if I were to attempt it. Sounds like you are in love with the country around the city of Vegas. I've never been there. Maybe some day. Elizabeth Daniels.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
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Thank you for the good review and rating, Elizabeth. I am glad you enjoyed the piece.
Comment from Alan K Pease
I think Fanstory should give you a permanent listing in 1st place for you overwhelm us with poetic excellence giving great drama and an intimate knowledge of a metropolis that is almost incomparable to anything else that I have ever seen. This is a must for poets who only like short poems to really see where a long poem can take you in style. Since you created this work you have a perfect model to write heroic sonnets of other contents, but I see that you already knew this from the beginning (by definition). I once tried to link the last word of a quatrain to the beginning word of the next stanza ( the same word ) using aabb scheme. It worked quite well.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2012
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I think Fanstory should give you a permanent listing in 1st place for you overwhelm us with poetic excellence giving great drama and an intimate knowledge of a metropolis that is almost incomparable to anything else that I have ever seen. This is a must for poets who only like short poems to really see where a long poem can take you in style. Since you created this work you have a perfect model to write heroic sonnets of other contents, but I see that you already knew this from the beginning (by definition). I once tried to link the last word of a quatrain to the beginning word of the next stanza ( the same word ) using aabb scheme. It worked quite well.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2012
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Thank you so much for this outstanding review and the exceptional rating. I am deeply moved by your words. Yes, a crown of heroic sonnets is quite an undertaking, and a must for poets who want to take their poetry to the next level. Love and hugs, Y.
Comment from Darla9
Very impressive piece of work :) Made me want to go to Vegas! I can tell you truly love the place :) Excellent work, well done :)
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
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Very impressive piece of work :) Made me want to go to Vegas! I can tell you truly love the place :) Excellent work, well done :)
Comment Written 16-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
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Oh, you should move to Vegas! It's a great city. I very much enjoyed my stay there. Thanks for the good review, love, Y.
Comment from oNray
Well written of the land you have come to love. It will be hard back east I would bet, but yu will love it or not be able to stand it from what I hear. This ol Colorado boy loves it here and "ain't" goen No place :)
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
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Well written of the land you have come to love. It will be hard back east I would bet, but yu will love it or not be able to stand it from what I hear. This ol Colorado boy loves it here and "ain't" goen No place :)
Comment Written 16-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
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Thank you so much for the great review. I've been back East for two years now, but see Vegas in my dreams every night.
Comment from hellion5
Yeltel this is phenomenal work! I'm sorry I don't have a sixer left to give you. I especially liked these:
You touched where the decay began its work
and oiled the roughness of infected skin
The Lunar sorcery is stronger here,
I also loved the way you're paying tribute to the city as if it's a lover. Well done!
Sue
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
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Yeltel this is phenomenal work! I'm sorry I don't have a sixer left to give you. I especially liked these:
You touched where the decay began its work
and oiled the roughness of infected skin
The Lunar sorcery is stronger here,
I also loved the way you're paying tribute to the city as if it's a lover. Well done!
Sue
Comment Written 16-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
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Thank you so much for your wonderful review and the virtual six. I appreciate it very much. You pointed out the line that is one of my favorites too. Love, Y.
Comment from Honeysuckle1876
I love sonnets and this was exceptional. Brilliant writting. I liked the theme and how well you tied each one in to the next was also excellent. I have been to vegas and had picture running in the back of my head as I was reading this poem. Vivid discriptive words. Almost makes me want to go back. Great job on the piece.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
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I love sonnets and this was exceptional. Brilliant writting. I liked the theme and how well you tied each one in to the next was also excellent. I have been to vegas and had picture running in the back of my head as I was reading this poem. Vivid discriptive words. Almost makes me want to go back. Great job on the piece.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
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Thank you so much for your wonderful review and rating. I am so glad you enjoyed this poem.
Comment from Janice65
A story that needed to be told. Very well written and yet it seemed so true and like a nonfiction tale of old. Beautiful in some demensions that take us near to Heaven in its source. Good work! Keep writing.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
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A story that needed to be told. Very well written and yet it seemed so true and like a nonfiction tale of old. Beautiful in some demensions that take us near to Heaven in its source. Good work! Keep writing.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
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Thank you so much for your great review. Love, Y.
Comment from gordonmrln
This is truly a fine piece of work that takes you on a journey to a land of many feelings. It has moved me, and taken me to a place I have never seen before. But yet I feel that I have traveled; yes you have taken me through many feelings that evoke sense's. I like your ebb and flow; and the structure to your sonnet. As I close my eyes I see the mountains, canyons, and lagoons of a paradise place were the For-lorn have a chance to re-new there hopes. Well done this is the type of work that inspire; the rest of us to try to better our self's. I hope this work gets the rewards it truly deserves. Thank You.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
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This is truly a fine piece of work that takes you on a journey to a land of many feelings. It has moved me, and taken me to a place I have never seen before. But yet I feel that I have traveled; yes you have taken me through many feelings that evoke sense's. I like your ebb and flow; and the structure to your sonnet. As I close my eyes I see the mountains, canyons, and lagoons of a paradise place were the For-lorn have a chance to re-new there hopes. Well done this is the type of work that inspire; the rest of us to try to better our self's. I hope this work gets the rewards it truly deserves. Thank You.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
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Thank you so much for your exceptional review and the honor of six stars. I am very moved. Love, Y.
Comment from psalmist
Well done. I have never been to Las Vegas, and you almost make me want to go. I enjoyed the way your personified this city as an alluring and exciting lover. Good luck in the contest. Linda
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
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Well done. I have never been to Las Vegas, and you almost make me want to go. I enjoyed the way your personified this city as an alluring and exciting lover. Good luck in the contest. Linda
Comment Written 16-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
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Thank you so much for your good review, Linda, glad you enjoyed my Vegas saga. I have no words to describe what Vegas means to me. It literally saved my life.
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P.S. Glad you didn't find any repeat rhymes in my work (lol)
