The Crown for Vegas
Crown of Heroic Sonnets115 total reviews
Comment from chcbeck
I admire any one who can produce a sonnet, but to produce seven, and each one so beautifully written is amazing. A clever idea, a romance with a place. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016
  |
I admire any one who can produce a sonnet, but to produce seven, and each one so beautifully written is amazing. A clever idea, a romance with a place. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016
-
thank you
Comment from AnnaLinda
Yelena,
Your Crown of heroic sonnets dedicated to your beloved Vegas had me awestruck. Would you believe I read it out loud to Willy? He loves Las Vegas also. Even my Dutch man
could appreciate your outstanding talent here.
I know that when you arrived in Vegas you were grief stricken and its healing balm soothed your soul which you so eloquently wrote about in your first sonnet:
"your incandescent aura brings release.
The Southern magic was a soothing balm"
Sonnet II has you moving from the North and listening:
"It was a daunting task, to leave the North,
but you were beckoning, and I obeyed.
Your chariot would drive my spirit forth
I listened to the message you conveyed"
Sonnet III: " hear "Nirvana" in your lilting voice,
I will be with you soon, my mystic beau!"
Sonnet IV - I enjoyed the personification...
"And now, in your embrace, my errant knight
I'm safe and free, for many moons to come.
Your sky of perfect blue and vistas gold
beseeched my soul; I knew I'd overcome
my writhing grief in this resplendent scene."
Sonnet V: you have a lot of depth and divine rhyme:
"Who said our suffering is not in vain?
It strengthens our reserve, prepares the soul
for tribulations of the higher plane"
In sonnet VI you begin to describe what Vegas is so well known for:
"This town and its largess did make me swoon -
its mountains, canyons that appeased my rhymes,
casinos with their ever jingling slots,
the shows, and colored lights of Vegas Strip"
"appeased my rhymes" On Vegas' head I placed my poet's crown" And it was there that you
also shared your gift of writing with me. Introduced
me to this site. Out of your own pain, you shared
what you had. Thank you for that.
Sonnet VII You are already being summoned back to NY...
But, "One day again I'll kneel upon your door -
You came when grief was eating at my core."
I think I hear the song of Vegas. Can you hear it? Is there a "message" being "conveyed?"
Anyway, at this point I have a tear rolling...
This is a very impressive set of sonnets that is clearly very close to your heart. I hope you have a wonderful Valentin's Day today.
Love,
Linda
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2016
 |
Yelena,
Your Crown of heroic sonnets dedicated to your beloved Vegas had me awestruck. Would you believe I read it out loud to Willy? He loves Las Vegas also. Even my Dutch man
could appreciate your outstanding talent here.
I know that when you arrived in Vegas you were grief stricken and its healing balm soothed your soul which you so eloquently wrote about in your first sonnet:
"your incandescent aura brings release.
The Southern magic was a soothing balm"
Sonnet II has you moving from the North and listening:
"It was a daunting task, to leave the North,
but you were beckoning, and I obeyed.
Your chariot would drive my spirit forth
I listened to the message you conveyed"
Sonnet III: " hear "Nirvana" in your lilting voice,
I will be with you soon, my mystic beau!"
Sonnet IV - I enjoyed the personification...
"And now, in your embrace, my errant knight
I'm safe and free, for many moons to come.
Your sky of perfect blue and vistas gold
beseeched my soul; I knew I'd overcome
my writhing grief in this resplendent scene."
Sonnet V: you have a lot of depth and divine rhyme:
"Who said our suffering is not in vain?
It strengthens our reserve, prepares the soul
for tribulations of the higher plane"
In sonnet VI you begin to describe what Vegas is so well known for:
"This town and its largess did make me swoon -
its mountains, canyons that appeased my rhymes,
casinos with their ever jingling slots,
the shows, and colored lights of Vegas Strip"
"appeased my rhymes" On Vegas' head I placed my poet's crown" And it was there that you
also shared your gift of writing with me. Introduced
me to this site. Out of your own pain, you shared
what you had. Thank you for that.
Sonnet VII You are already being summoned back to NY...
But, "One day again I'll kneel upon your door -
You came when grief was eating at my core."
I think I hear the song of Vegas. Can you hear it? Is there a "message" being "conveyed?"
Anyway, at this point I have a tear rolling...
This is a very impressive set of sonnets that is clearly very close to your heart. I hope you have a wonderful Valentin's Day today.
Love,
Linda
Comment Written 14-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2016
-
Linda,
Your review brought me to tears. First, I want to thank you for the exceptional rating and the honor of six stars.
I know, this poem had a special meaning for you too because you spent a few years in the City of Lights and experienced its drawing power. I appreciate your attention to detail and your thorough review of each stanza. This poem makes me cry every time I read it. Perhaps, it is my infinite gratitude to this desert town that saved my life and reason when I, bleeding inwardly and like a wounded animal, left everything behind and fleed there. I felt instinctively that this town personified salvation. And I was right. I felt suicidal for a long time after losing my mother. But Vegas cured it. Doctors recommend a complete change after tragedies like that. It took two years, but at the end I was ready to live again and even move back to NY.
But this city did a number on me. It completely captivated, even enslaved me. I close my eyes and see its mountains, canyons, palm trees and blue, blue sky. I went there dozens of times since I moved back. Every now and then I feel a tremendous longing for Vegas, so that I am ready to get on the plane in the next hour and go. But, God has the right time for everything.
I am raising a glass of world's finest Chateau Margeaux to Vegas and its power. I hope you join me.
Love, Y.
-
Yes, that would go nice with the Vegas song in the background. Yelena this set of sonnets...or Crown for Vegas is really beyond words.
Comment from mojo78
Very creative almost like a song. Like the flow of the sonnet and the picture , color and back ground all merge well and are very appropriate for the theme. The sonnet starts well and ends well and love the bit about the child on Christmas day.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2012
|
Very creative almost like a song. Like the flow of the sonnet and the picture , color and back ground all merge well and are very appropriate for the theme. The sonnet starts well and ends well and love the bit about the child on Christmas day.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2012
-
Thank you so much for your marvlous review. None of my other 101 reviwers said that it sounded "like a song" - and I take it as a compliment! My Vegas saga was indeed a song, the best, most beautiful and romantic in my life!
-
Each to their own : )your welcome 101 reviewers wow.
-
I promoted it very heavily, to the top of the front page. I'd like to think that it's my poetic skill that drew 101 reviewers, but we know all the factors involved (lol)
Love, Y.
-
: )
Comment from Just2Write
You came when grief was eating at my core
demolishing my substance piece by piece; (Good introduction)
And now you are the Vegas I adore,
Your incandescent aura brings release.
The Southern magic was a soothing balm
to heal the wounds of death and noxious loss
The canyons, mountains and your desert calm
put out the flames on my inferno cross.
I breathed the healing air and I revived
I knew not all was lost, there was a chance ~ (nice buildng of hope)
You waved your magic wand, and I survived
My Vegas, I submerge in our romance.
You touched where the decay began its work
and oiled the roughness of infected skin
You penetrated where the demons lurk
And monitored the healing from within.
You came and conquered this illusive heart
From that day on we'd never be apart.
II.
From that day on we'd never be apart -
I left New York and came to be with you,
My mind prepared for the amazing start,
your mountains and the sky forever blue.
It was a daunting task, to leave the north
But you were beckoning, and I obeyed
Your chariot would drive my spirit forth
I listened to the message you conveyed.
It took five days to reach your fairy land
The car was bringing me to your abyss ~
I felt the touch of your caressing hand,
my cheeks beheld the blessing of your kiss.
The warm dry air erased the Northern cold,
Excitement hard to hamper, heart afire,
I felt my failing spirit getting bold --
The Vegas witchcraft took away my ire.
Oh soon, so soon I will be in your arms
My Vegas, I look forward to your charms!
III.
My Vegas, I look forward to your charms ~
It was mid-summer, and your Southern sun
assailed my windshield glass in soft alarm.
I closed my eyes and thought of all the fun
of my amazing journey to unknown,
Relieved that I had left my grief behind
Each mile along the yel'ow brick road had shown
how right I was to clear my tortured mind.
The thoughts of suicide melted in the heat (Drop the first 'The')
Oh no, life was too precious to forsake
I was refusing to accept defeat.
Another mile, I'm drifting in your wake,
My Vegas king, the monarch of my choice,
My ear detects the voice from down below,
I hear "Nirvana" in your lilting voice,
I will be with you soon, my mystic beau!
The Arizona mountains - one more state
Just moments left 'fore our clandestine date.
IV.
Just moments left 'fore our clandestine date
We crossed your kingdom's border in the night
I made it to your threshold, it was fate;
And now, in your embrace, my errant knight
I'm safe and free, for many moons to come.
Your sky of perfect blue and valleys green
beseeched my soul; I knew I'd overcome
my fortune's ire in this resplendent scene.
I reveled in your magnitude, tear eyed
Refusing to believe that it was real -
I felt I was a Bonnie to your Clyde
Completely smitten by your bold appeal.
You were my Noah's ark to heartache's flood, (great line)
The secret key to life's metamorphose -
My heart, my inspiration and my blood
Are yours to hold, in poetry and prose.
I lost my loved ones, and you took my pain
Who said our suffering is not in vain?
V.
Who said our suffering is not in vain?
It strengthens our reserve, prepares the soul
for tribulations of the higher plane -
The life across the Gate, and for our role
in changing of the universal tides.
The galaxies ignite, and brilliant stars
are moving through Galactica in strides
Where are you, loved ones, on Pluto or Mars?
The Vegas moon bestowed its silver shine
on lonely pilgrim from the far East Coast,
It whispered in my ear: "I know, you're mine
and I will give you what you want the most.
The Lunar sorcery is stronger here,
In Vegas, this omnipotent resort -
Above its mountains paradise is nearer
And from now on this town is your consort."
I whispered: "Thank you, my resplendent moon,"
She smiled and disappeared in her lagoon.
VI.
She smiled and disappeared in her lagoon;
Her prophesies came true a thousand times
This town and its largess did make me swoon -
its mountains, canyons, that appeased my rhymes,
casinos with their ever jingling slots,
the shows, and colored lights of Vegas Strip -
The globe has myriads of exciting spots
But it's Las Vegas that would make you flip.
I felt myself a kid on Christmas day (Phrasing? suggestion: I felt just like a kid of Christmas Day)
When I went out at night and here they were -
Belaggio, Luxor, Wynn and Mandalay,
A beauty feast for any connoisseur. (Another great couplet.)
The sparkling riches of Aladdin's cave
would pale compared to their divine finesse
My Sultan Vegas, I'm your faithful slave,
I kneel 'fore your incredible largess.
And so, I fell in love with my new town ~
On Vegas' head I placed my poet's crown.
VII.
On Vegas' head I placed my poet's crown
The idol worthy of the given name ~
In your celestial spell I'd like to drown,
I revel in your fortitude and fame.
You single-handedly erased my grief,
Your strength and power healed my broken wings,
your ever-lasting magic brought relief,
Such is the aurora and appeal of kings.
My Vegas, after two delightful years
I had to say good bye to you, my love -
We shared our joys and our perennial tears
I know that angels sent you from above.
There came a time when East Coast summoned me,
I had to leave you... but I can't forget
My Vegas love, my heart was left with thee,
I close my eyes and see your silhouette.
One day again I'll kneel upon your door -
You came when grief was eating at my core.
This is a great Crown of Sonnets, Yelena. Together they told a wonderful story about a place that gave you serenity, when you had none. I like how you explored your reasons to go there, the journey that took you there, what it was about it that made you stay, and finally, your time to say goodbye. A very worthy submission. Thank you so much for sponsoring this competition. It really is the Crowning contest at FanStory.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
|
You came when grief was eating at my core
demolishing my substance piece by piece; (Good introduction)
And now you are the Vegas I adore,
Your incandescent aura brings release.
The Southern magic was a soothing balm
to heal the wounds of death and noxious loss
The canyons, mountains and your desert calm
put out the flames on my inferno cross.
I breathed the healing air and I revived
I knew not all was lost, there was a chance ~ (nice buildng of hope)
You waved your magic wand, and I survived
My Vegas, I submerge in our romance.
You touched where the decay began its work
and oiled the roughness of infected skin
You penetrated where the demons lurk
And monitored the healing from within.
You came and conquered this illusive heart
From that day on we'd never be apart.
II.
From that day on we'd never be apart -
I left New York and came to be with you,
My mind prepared for the amazing start,
your mountains and the sky forever blue.
It was a daunting task, to leave the north
But you were beckoning, and I obeyed
Your chariot would drive my spirit forth
I listened to the message you conveyed.
It took five days to reach your fairy land
The car was bringing me to your abyss ~
I felt the touch of your caressing hand,
my cheeks beheld the blessing of your kiss.
The warm dry air erased the Northern cold,
Excitement hard to hamper, heart afire,
I felt my failing spirit getting bold --
The Vegas witchcraft took away my ire.
Oh soon, so soon I will be in your arms
My Vegas, I look forward to your charms!
III.
My Vegas, I look forward to your charms ~
It was mid-summer, and your Southern sun
assailed my windshield glass in soft alarm.
I closed my eyes and thought of all the fun
of my amazing journey to unknown,
Relieved that I had left my grief behind
Each mile along the yel'ow brick road had shown
how right I was to clear my tortured mind.
The thoughts of suicide melted in the heat (Drop the first 'The')
Oh no, life was too precious to forsake
I was refusing to accept defeat.
Another mile, I'm drifting in your wake,
My Vegas king, the monarch of my choice,
My ear detects the voice from down below,
I hear "Nirvana" in your lilting voice,
I will be with you soon, my mystic beau!
The Arizona mountains - one more state
Just moments left 'fore our clandestine date.
IV.
Just moments left 'fore our clandestine date
We crossed your kingdom's border in the night
I made it to your threshold, it was fate;
And now, in your embrace, my errant knight
I'm safe and free, for many moons to come.
Your sky of perfect blue and valleys green
beseeched my soul; I knew I'd overcome
my fortune's ire in this resplendent scene.
I reveled in your magnitude, tear eyed
Refusing to believe that it was real -
I felt I was a Bonnie to your Clyde
Completely smitten by your bold appeal.
You were my Noah's ark to heartache's flood, (great line)
The secret key to life's metamorphose -
My heart, my inspiration and my blood
Are yours to hold, in poetry and prose.
I lost my loved ones, and you took my pain
Who said our suffering is not in vain?
V.
Who said our suffering is not in vain?
It strengthens our reserve, prepares the soul
for tribulations of the higher plane -
The life across the Gate, and for our role
in changing of the universal tides.
The galaxies ignite, and brilliant stars
are moving through Galactica in strides
Where are you, loved ones, on Pluto or Mars?
The Vegas moon bestowed its silver shine
on lonely pilgrim from the far East Coast,
It whispered in my ear: "I know, you're mine
and I will give you what you want the most.
The Lunar sorcery is stronger here,
In Vegas, this omnipotent resort -
Above its mountains paradise is nearer
And from now on this town is your consort."
I whispered: "Thank you, my resplendent moon,"
She smiled and disappeared in her lagoon.
VI.
She smiled and disappeared in her lagoon;
Her prophesies came true a thousand times
This town and its largess did make me swoon -
its mountains, canyons, that appeased my rhymes,
casinos with their ever jingling slots,
the shows, and colored lights of Vegas Strip -
The globe has myriads of exciting spots
But it's Las Vegas that would make you flip.
I felt myself a kid on Christmas day (Phrasing? suggestion: I felt just like a kid of Christmas Day)
When I went out at night and here they were -
Belaggio, Luxor, Wynn and Mandalay,
A beauty feast for any connoisseur. (Another great couplet.)
The sparkling riches of Aladdin's cave
would pale compared to their divine finesse
My Sultan Vegas, I'm your faithful slave,
I kneel 'fore your incredible largess.
And so, I fell in love with my new town ~
On Vegas' head I placed my poet's crown.
VII.
On Vegas' head I placed my poet's crown
The idol worthy of the given name ~
In your celestial spell I'd like to drown,
I revel in your fortitude and fame.
You single-handedly erased my grief,
Your strength and power healed my broken wings,
your ever-lasting magic brought relief,
Such is the aurora and appeal of kings.
My Vegas, after two delightful years
I had to say good bye to you, my love -
We shared our joys and our perennial tears
I know that angels sent you from above.
There came a time when East Coast summoned me,
I had to leave you... but I can't forget
My Vegas love, my heart was left with thee,
I close my eyes and see your silhouette.
One day again I'll kneel upon your door -
You came when grief was eating at my core.
This is a great Crown of Sonnets, Yelena. Together they told a wonderful story about a place that gave you serenity, when you had none. I like how you explored your reasons to go there, the journey that took you there, what it was about it that made you stay, and finally, your time to say goodbye. A very worthy submission. Thank you so much for sponsoring this competition. It really is the Crowning contest at FanStory.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
-
Thank you so much for this outstanding review and your six stars. I am honored indeed. Your editing suggestions are perfect, I've implemented them. Again, thank you very much for stopping by and, good luck in the contest!
Love, Y.
Comment from Jen Gentry
I really am not fond of sonnets, but yours held me to the end I enjoyed reading of your love for a new adventure to help heal a grieving heart. So I must admit I did enjoy your sonnet. (but don't tell anyone ok) LOL
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
|
I really am not fond of sonnets, but yours held me to the end I enjoyed reading of your love for a new adventure to help heal a grieving heart. So I must admit I did enjoy your sonnet. (but don't tell anyone ok) LOL
Comment Written 18-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
-
Thanks, Christa. To hear that a reader loved your sonet although it is not her favorite form, is a compliment indeed! And - I won't tell anyone! (lol)
Comment from Chris Davis
Very well done... although I have to admit that due to the length I skimmed through parts, and then returned to get the full feel. It seems clear your relationship with Vegas and my own were vastly different, but have felt that way about other places.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
|
Very well done... although I have to admit that due to the length I skimmed through parts, and then returned to get the full feel. It seems clear your relationship with Vegas and my own were vastly different, but have felt that way about other places.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
-
Thank you so much for the good review.
-
:)
Comment from JMLava
This is interesting. I don't know very much about poetry so appreciate this one because it's new to me. You're author's note is helpful.
I enjoyed your flow of words, captivating. I want to read this a few times over, to better grasp its meaning. I like works like that, the ones that keep me, and force me to go back for another look.
Good read!
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
|
This is interesting. I don't know very much about poetry so appreciate this one because it's new to me. You're author's note is helpful.
I enjoyed your flow of words, captivating. I want to read this a few times over, to better grasp its meaning. I like works like that, the ones that keep me, and force me to go back for another look.
Good read!
Comment Written 17-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
-
Thank you for the good review!
Comment from RebelRose
I like your wording and composition of this piece. The format is very interesting, very 'polished'. I like the way you have the stanzas set up and numbered. Well done.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
|
I like your wording and composition of this piece. The format is very interesting, very 'polished'. I like the way you have the stanzas set up and numbered. Well done.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
-
Thank you very much, Rose, for the great review. Glad you enjoyed this piece.
Comment from purrfect tale
I got involved in the story of the poem. Something so horrendous happened, that you needed the glitzy of Vegas and the heat of the dessert to pull yourself back together. Interesting.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
|
I got involved in the story of the poem. Something so horrendous happened, that you needed the glitzy of Vegas and the heat of the dessert to pull yourself back together. Interesting.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
-
Thank you for the great review and rating. Love, Y.
Comment from Sherry Asbury
This exquisite poetry done to perfection. I like the classic type of poetry and can see why you were awarded for this. This seems a challenging form to write precisely, but you have achieved that goal nicely. I like this very much!!
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
|
This exquisite poetry done to perfection. I like the classic type of poetry and can see why you were awarded for this. This seems a challenging form to write precisely, but you have achieved that goal nicely. I like this very much!!
Comment Written 17-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
-
Thank you for the exquisite review and your unforgettable words which mean a lot to me. A Crown of heroic sonnets is one of the most complex forms in poetry, and one of the most challenging! I wrote so many single sonnets in my life, that to write an epoch crown of 7 is a real challenge!
Thanks again, love and hugs, Y.
