The Crown for Vegas
Crown of Heroic Sonnets115 total reviews
Comment from barkingdog
I have to admit that I just got caught up in the beauty of the iambic beat and marveled at the way you set your word to work in this lovely crown of heroic sonnets to Vegas.
It sings in rhyme and tempo and the story is touching.
Some lines that I like are:
-The Vegas witchcraft took away my ire.
-Refusing to believe that it was real
I felt I was a Bonnie to your Clyde
Completely smitten by your bold appeal.
You were my Noah's ark to heartache's flood
-I lost my loved ones, and you took my pain
Who said our suffering is not in vain? [I relate personally to this.]
-It strengthens our reserve, prepares the soul
for tribulations of the higher plane,
The life across the Gate, and for our role
in moving of the universal tides
The galaxies ignite, and brilliant stars
are moving on sky tapestry in strides
Where are you, loved ones, on Pluto or Mars?
[This section had a very personal meaning to me. I thank you for it, so much. I tear up at it again.]
-I revel in your fortitude and fame.
You single-handedly erased my grief,
You gave me light and hope when there was none
Your ever-lasting magic brought relief
And in the process, oh, did we have fun!
[beauty of healing; laughter/joy
heals; this is so important in moving forward]
-One day again I'll kneel upon your door -
Your came when grief was eating at my core.
Did you mean to say 'YOUR came when ...' in the above line? Did you mean 'YOU came when ...?'
[I can see why your would want to go back]
I wish I had a six. You deserve more than one for this. I hope you win the contest. I can't imagine anyone doing any better.
Yours are readable. Not all big words to make you sound smart and important. It is piece that everyone can read, understand and relate to. That's not an easy thing to accomplish.
Standing 'O', BRAVO!
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
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I have to admit that I just got caught up in the beauty of the iambic beat and marveled at the way you set your word to work in this lovely crown of heroic sonnets to Vegas.
It sings in rhyme and tempo and the story is touching.
Some lines that I like are:
-The Vegas witchcraft took away my ire.
-Refusing to believe that it was real
I felt I was a Bonnie to your Clyde
Completely smitten by your bold appeal.
You were my Noah's ark to heartache's flood
-I lost my loved ones, and you took my pain
Who said our suffering is not in vain? [I relate personally to this.]
-It strengthens our reserve, prepares the soul
for tribulations of the higher plane,
The life across the Gate, and for our role
in moving of the universal tides
The galaxies ignite, and brilliant stars
are moving on sky tapestry in strides
Where are you, loved ones, on Pluto or Mars?
[This section had a very personal meaning to me. I thank you for it, so much. I tear up at it again.]
-I revel in your fortitude and fame.
You single-handedly erased my grief,
You gave me light and hope when there was none
Your ever-lasting magic brought relief
And in the process, oh, did we have fun!
[beauty of healing; laughter/joy
heals; this is so important in moving forward]
-One day again I'll kneel upon your door -
Your came when grief was eating at my core.
Did you mean to say 'YOUR came when ...' in the above line? Did you mean 'YOU came when ...?'
[I can see why your would want to go back]
I wish I had a six. You deserve more than one for this. I hope you win the contest. I can't imagine anyone doing any better.
Yours are readable. Not all big words to make you sound smart and important. It is piece that everyone can read, understand and relate to. That's not an easy thing to accomplish.
Standing 'O', BRAVO!
Comment Written 12-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
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Thank you so much for the incredible, heartfelt review and the honor of six stars. A review like this is a reward of any writer, for sleepless nights and years of hard work (smile). I see from your review, we have things in common, like losing loved ones. Vegas was immensely therapeutic to me, and the two years spent there were like a fairytale. I had to return to my house on the East Coast, but there hasn't been a day when I wasn't thinking about Vegas. I close my eyes and see the Red Rock mountains, canyons, the vistas of incredible beauty. And one day I will go back there. Love and blessings, Y.
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You're very welcome. It was my pleasure.:)BD
Comment from Jade Johnson
I am so glad I had some sixes left. This blew me away.
I felt that it was a masterpiece from beginning to end.
Thank you for sharing.
Blessings Jade
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
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I am so glad I had some sixes left. This blew me away.
I felt that it was a masterpiece from beginning to end.
Thank you for sharing.
Blessings Jade
Comment Written 12-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
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Thank you, Jade, for your exceptional review and the honor of six stars. Your words and your praise mean a lot to me. Blessings and love, Yelena
Comment from kiwigirl2821
You have written a beautiful piece of work here. It's like a Cinderella story gone wrong somehow. I love the visual imagery and the strong storyline. Nice work. xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
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You have written a beautiful piece of work here. It's like a Cinderella story gone wrong somehow. I love the visual imagery and the strong storyline. Nice work. xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 12-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
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Thank you for the great review. Not exactly a Cinderella story - the heroine of this epoch went to Vegas to heal after the death of her loved ones. Vegas turned an amazing healer!
Comment from rightforyou
Well Done, as since my first review I had to come back and apologize for not understanding what a Crown Sonnet was and the talent that it requires for a poet to compromise one of these high level forms of true poetry ...
My first review was a bit sarcastic and I do apologize for not understanding what it was that I was reviewing...I am new at poetry and still have a lot to learn...
My first attempt at a sonnet was not penned with the proper format and I was schooled by some of the best as to what I had done wrong.
Now that I have gained more wisdom I will try my hand at a crown in the future and hope to have your honest review as well ...
Great job on this Crown..A true Sixer sorry I am out at the moment..Ron
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reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
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Well Done, as since my first review I had to come back and apologize for not understanding what a Crown Sonnet was and the talent that it requires for a poet to compromise one of these high level forms of true poetry ...
My first review was a bit sarcastic and I do apologize for not understanding what it was that I was reviewing...I am new at poetry and still have a lot to learn...
My first attempt at a sonnet was not penned with the proper format and I was schooled by some of the best as to what I had done wrong.
Now that I have gained more wisdom I will try my hand at a crown in the future and hope to have your honest review as well ...
Great job on this Crown..A true Sixer sorry I am out at the moment..Ron
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
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Thank you for your good review. I have to go back and figure which lines are 68 and 23 (smile), and see what I can do about them. Glad you liked the poem as a whole. Hugs and love, Y.
Comment from Chris Tee
These are all excellent sonnets and extremely well written here old sport. This poetry is indeed a splendid entry in the contest and I wish you all the luck in the contest.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
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These are all excellent sonnets and extremely well written here old sport. This poetry is indeed a splendid entry in the contest and I wish you all the luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
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Thank you so much for the great review, a Crown of sonnets is a huge undertaking, but I enjoyed it immensely.
