Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 47 "Part one, Chapter 15"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
74 total reviews
Comment from NaughtieScribe
I don't know how much more of this self pity of her's I can take. I know she has so much to reconcile, but it will never happen if she keeps back tracking every time something good happens to her. Don't let Bobby win.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2012
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I don't know how much more of this self pity of her's I can take. I know she has so much to reconcile, but it will never happen if she keeps back tracking every time something good happens to her. Don't let Bobby win.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2012
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Thank you.
Comment from Roberta Joan Jensen
Paul opened the large bag and lifted out an eighteen by twenty-four inch[] oil painting.
Anna, please[,] this is your painting."
It looks like they left the painting behind. You should add something about Anna picking up the painting after Troy took Michael.
Too bad[You've dropped "that." Don't use a comma instead.] it's not real."
My heart hurts - she's so insecure and helpless.
Roberta
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2012
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Paul opened the large bag and lifted out an eighteen by twenty-four inch[] oil painting.
Anna, please[,] this is your painting."
It looks like they left the painting behind. You should add something about Anna picking up the painting after Troy took Michael.
Too bad[You've dropped "that." Don't use a comma instead.] it's not real."
My heart hurts - she's so insecure and helpless.
Roberta
Comment Written 17-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2012
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Thank you for the kind review and your support.
Comment from FlamingSpade
"where" were? I'll take your muse in a snap! This is terrific. I came in late and loved it. Pet project? Jail? Curious as all get out. Wonderful storytelling.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
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"where" were? I'll take your muse in a snap! This is terrific. I came in late and loved it. Pet project? Jail? Curious as all get out. Wonderful storytelling.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from trinalynnes
I enjoyed the chapter and would be interested in reading the rest. You have developed the characters nicely. I just had a few mechanical issues. They are: sat not set (I think), 18 x 22 inch not inches, and I am not sure who he is that is borrowing the screwdrivers because right before it you have Anna talking. It threw me off. I hope this helps.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
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I enjoyed the chapter and would be interested in reading the rest. You have developed the characters nicely. I just had a few mechanical issues. They are: sat not set (I think), 18 x 22 inch not inches, and I am not sure who he is that is borrowing the screwdrivers because right before it you have Anna talking. It threw me off. I hope this helps.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
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Thank you for the kind review and I will look at those areas.
Comment from Connie P
Barbara,
I've been away almost 3 months so I'm terribly behind in reading your current novel. Hopefully I'll find time to get caught up. I enjoyed the post although I'm a little lost.
Connie
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
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Barbara,
I've been away almost 3 months so I'm terribly behind in reading your current novel. Hopefully I'll find time to get caught up. I enjoyed the post although I'm a little lost.
Connie
Comment Written 12-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
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Welcome back. I have missed you. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from WilliamDeen
Good write, Barbara. Like the Troy character since I first read about him last summer. Enjoyed this read and a good addition to the story. One item: "Betty's right. Anna, please this is your painting." Should there be a comma after 'please'?
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
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Good write, Barbara. Like the Troy character since I first read about him last summer. Enjoyed this read and a good addition to the story. One item: "Betty's right. Anna, please this is your painting." Should there be a comma after 'please'?
Comment Written 12-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
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I will check into it and see if there needs to be a comma. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Shadow Pahn
Hi Barbara, your chapter popped up on my
Phone so i had not read the rest of the story. However, the characters are compelling and now i need to find out what happened with the dog! Well written
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
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Hi Barbara, your chapter popped up on my
Phone so i had not read the rest of the story. However, the characters are compelling and now i need to find out what happened with the dog! Well written
Comment Written 12-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from robyn corum
Continuing to enjoy your tale. How much more do you expect to follow in Anna's story? Do you think it will be long before you can get on to the next project? It's awful when they all conflict in your mind - like children screaming for attention.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
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Continuing to enjoy your tale. How much more do you expect to follow in Anna's story? Do you think it will be long before you can get on to the next project? It's awful when they all conflict in your mind - like children screaming for attention.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
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I have less than a quarter left of Anna. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Aveindha
A very involved and well written story. You seem to have a close and personal relationship with you're characters, and know them well. They are all well defined. You are a good writer and you're work is captivating.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2012
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A very involved and well written story. You seem to have a close and personal relationship with you're characters, and know them well. They are all well defined. You are a good writer and you're work is captivating.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from chuckduncannovels
Clearly you have creative talent. The thing that struck me most was the pacing, which was very good. Where I struggled was with the script format. I felt like my mind was marching rather than enjoying a read. The lack of 'color' in the writing left me with no ability to visualize what was happening and where it was happening. I didn't feel like I was in the story. The ending of the chapter was great and played well against the buildup of the presumed relevence of the painting. I hope this helps you.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2012
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Clearly you have creative talent. The thing that struck me most was the pacing, which was very good. Where I struggled was with the script format. I felt like my mind was marching rather than enjoying a read. The lack of 'color' in the writing left me with no ability to visualize what was happening and where it was happening. I didn't feel like I was in the story. The ending of the chapter was great and played well against the buildup of the presumed relevence of the painting. I hope this helps you.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2012
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Thank you for the kind review. I don't like reading a lot of descriptions and either do my fans.
