Reviews from

Lonely Hearts Meet

Viewing comments for Chapter 46 "Part three, Chapter 14"
Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.

65 total reviews 
Comment from Aunt Mame
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This extract is certainly an appertiser for the entire novel. The conversations reflect personality and realism. Sometimes I wanted a bit more description but the dialogue is certainly realistic. Now I want more! Well done.

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2012
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from misscookie
Excellent
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I enjoyed reading this chapter and as always you kept the story very imteresting.
As life has it children will be childern, accidents will happen and life goes on.
Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2012
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from ATHWebber
Excellent
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It's not really my kind of novel, but that doesn't mean that I can't appreciate technical merit in the writing. I think the relationship is believable, and easy. More importantly that the characters have a reality about them. Nice work - hope things work out for them!

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2012
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Hareem.S
Excellent
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Another well written chapter. Nice to see Anna joyous at Miachel's first step. Troy is a very kind and nice giy, vivid portrayal of characters. Enjoyed reading it.

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2012
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from keondae
Excellent
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What a cool story! I especially like the part saying
""You're not getting rid of me that easy. You might as well get used to having me around. I'm not going anywhere."

"Anna, come quick. Michael's about ready to take his first step," yelled Betty from the backdoor.

"What?" Anna hurried inside.

"Another interruption." Troy shook his head, following.

Anna walked into the living room and saw her child standing beside the box. She knelt down, reached out her arms, and called, "Sweetheart, come to Mommy."

Michael took two wobbly steps and fell into his mother's arms.
"
Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2012
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Roberta Joan Jensen
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I think first steps deserve a six. Good job.

I was going to go back to refresh my memory but, with Troy having the blood disease, did you address that when he was bleeding? I don't remember.

Roberta

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2012
    Thank you for the kind review and your friendship.
Comment from kleck140
Excellent
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I need to read all of your chapters for my selfish reason to learn how to write so well. Your descriptions and dialogue make for an interesting story and held my interest.
New at writing I learn from writers, such as you. Thanks for sharing. Ellie

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2012
    Thank you for the kind review.
reply by kleck140 on 03-Jan-2012
    Thanks for your quick response!
Comment from Doc Holiday
Excellent
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I really enjoyed the story line and the dialogue between the characters was flawless. Very descriptive writing with good use, but not overuse of details. Congratualtions on your recognition of All Time Best! Best of luck with the story!

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 02-Jan-2012
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from axelbeariter
Excellent
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Michael threw his tippy cup on the floor, watched it fall, then laughed./Nice addendum to break up a long stretch of dialogue.---- was watching a baseball game and Ozzie Smith hit a two run/That's great, because another writer might have used Smith's name in a baseball game today, but he played ball when the elder Sorenson was a fan. The sign of a great writer is one who does relevant research, especially about Ozzie being a singles hitter not a power hitter.----"You're still a work in progress."/Nice!----I understand if you don't want to spend time with me anymore."/That might sound better as I'll instead of I----This is another great chapter.


 Comment Written 02-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 02-Jan-2012
    Thank you for the kind review and the suggestion. I will take your advice. I was afraid nobody would know who Ozzie is.
Comment from robyn corum
Excellent
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It is very well written. This is one of my favorites. I liked reading about the Grandmother who didn't mind the spill in her floor. Great job!

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 02-Jan-2012
    Thank you for the kind review.