A Motherless Child
growing up without a mother47 total reviews
Comment from vickib
Bev-I cannot believe how you said everything for me in this story. It stirred some strong emotions in me and in this one write may have answered many questions and healed many wounds for me. I related so much to what you said because of the deaths of my father and brother within a year and a half when I was ten and eleven. I was the odd kid at school. And having a mother who was a drunk may as well been a death too. I have only learned to hide my scars. You are so right about that time when we were thought to be able to bounce back. It's just not true. What you have written here everyone needs to read. I just can't believe how you touched my heart. I think our Mothers would be proud of us. And we are them in many many ways. My sister told me she was looking at me the other day and she can't believe how much I look like our Mom. This is going to win this contest. How could it not? Amazing healing writing Bev. XO God I'm lucky to have you around. :)
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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Bev-I cannot believe how you said everything for me in this story. It stirred some strong emotions in me and in this one write may have answered many questions and healed many wounds for me. I related so much to what you said because of the deaths of my father and brother within a year and a half when I was ten and eleven. I was the odd kid at school. And having a mother who was a drunk may as well been a death too. I have only learned to hide my scars. You are so right about that time when we were thought to be able to bounce back. It's just not true. What you have written here everyone needs to read. I just can't believe how you touched my heart. I think our Mothers would be proud of us. And we are them in many many ways. My sister told me she was looking at me the other day and she can't believe how much I look like our Mom. This is going to win this contest. How could it not? Amazing healing writing Bev. XO God I'm lucky to have you around. :)
Comment Written 30-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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My dear friend, you have brought me to tears with your words. I had no idea that you had faced so much as a child. No wonder we feel such a kinship. I almost did not post this because I didn't want to come across as a whiner. But you and I do know, vicki, it's hard to see any good purpose or meaning to such suffering. You are absolutely correct, also, that a mother who is incapable of nurturing or loving their child can, as they say, be good as dead. I hope you'll check out Hope's books, there is so much to be found there. From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for your words, buddy, and your exceptional review is icing on the cake. I'm so fortunate to have a beautiful soul like you as a dear friend. Love you, Bev
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This is an excellent entry for the non-fiction essay contest. My only suggestion is to remove numerous thats
I kept a daily vigil before the statue of the Holy Family praying that they would fill the hole in my heart with their love for each other. (omit that, it's an extra word)
I'd take her hand and lead her back to her desk and, to my shame, wish that she would just shut up and quit making things worse. (again the that)
I didn't want to hear that I'd still miss her in another ten years... (that)
Sister Nadine, called my father in for a conference and told him sternly that what my sister needed was a 'good' spanking. My father, who always insisted that the nuns were right no matter what the circumstances, admitted to me recently that his faith was severely tested by this insensitivity. (all 3 thats can go)
And I think that I have finally accepted that a part of me has withered in her absence. (extra that)
And I felt that I had betrayed her by not doing everything I could to hold onto her. (that)
I often told my husband that I thought something was wrong with me. (that)
Every that in the final paragraph needs to go.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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This is an excellent entry for the non-fiction essay contest. My only suggestion is to remove numerous thats
I kept a daily vigil before the statue of the Holy Family praying that they would fill the hole in my heart with their love for each other. (omit that, it's an extra word)
I'd take her hand and lead her back to her desk and, to my shame, wish that she would just shut up and quit making things worse. (again the that)
I didn't want to hear that I'd still miss her in another ten years... (that)
Sister Nadine, called my father in for a conference and told him sternly that what my sister needed was a 'good' spanking. My father, who always insisted that the nuns were right no matter what the circumstances, admitted to me recently that his faith was severely tested by this insensitivity. (all 3 thats can go)
And I think that I have finally accepted that a part of me has withered in her absence. (extra that)
And I felt that I had betrayed her by not doing everything I could to hold onto her. (that)
I often told my husband that I thought something was wrong with me. (that)
Every that in the final paragraph needs to go.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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Hi, barbara. Thank you for pointing out the obvious affection I have for the word THAT. I think you are absolutely correct and will remove them except for where I have quoted from elsewhere. Thank you for your kind and supportive review. Kind regards, Bev
Comment from alexisleech
This is a beautifully written piece about the loss of your mother and the years that followed. Losing a loved one affects us all differently, as the reaction of your sister well proves, but how people around you handle your grief, can sometimes make it worse because until you have actually experienced that kind of loss, you have no idea how it feels. Thank you for sharing, and have a wonderful 2012. Alexis
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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This is a beautifully written piece about the loss of your mother and the years that followed. Losing a loved one affects us all differently, as the reaction of your sister well proves, but how people around you handle your grief, can sometimes make it worse because until you have actually experienced that kind of loss, you have no idea how it feels. Thank you for sharing, and have a wonderful 2012. Alexis
Comment Written 30-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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Thank you, Alexis, for your kind and supportive review. As you so wisely say, loss affects everyone differently. My sister, unfortunately, has had mental problems and is now an alcoholoic. My other sister is morbidly obese and married to an abusive spouse. I like to believe that if my mother had lived, these circumstances would be different. You are very perceptive and I appreciate you sharing that with me. Kind regards and blessings for the new year! Bev
Comment from judiverse
This is a really powerful story, and you tell it so well. You describe your feelings on the death of your mother with great clarity. It must have been hard to have to help with your sister, who expressed her grief in a different way. Writing about how your mother's death affected your later life must have been hard. When you wrote school principle, you need principal. judi
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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This is a really powerful story, and you tell it so well. You describe your feelings on the death of your mother with great clarity. It must have been hard to have to help with your sister, who expressed her grief in a different way. Writing about how your mother's death affected your later life must have been hard. When you wrote school principle, you need principal. judi
Comment Written 30-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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Thank you for you spectacularly generous review, judi. I am now happier than I have ever been and I think that it is because of my community of friends here on Fanstory. For someone like me, reaching out has been the best thing I could have done. And finding out that I can made a difference in other people's lives has given me a new-found purpose. God has answered my prayers after all. You are a blessing in my life and I appreciate your kindness more than you know. Hugs, Bev
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You are so welcome, Bev, and thanks for your lovely comments about FanStory friends. judi
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You're welcome, judi. Xxx Bev
Comment from peggles
Your story is cleverly written and very well thought out
I enjoyed reading it very much
it is very sad that any child should have to suffer this
It must have been hard for your father too
I thought you told this story well
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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Your story is cleverly written and very well thought out
I enjoyed reading it very much
it is very sad that any child should have to suffer this
It must have been hard for your father too
I thought you told this story well
Comment Written 30-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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I really appreciate your words of support and the generosity of your review, peggles. Thank you for caring! Hugs, Bev
Comment from adewpearl
My classmates were clearly avoiding me, and I had - add comma
the school principle - principal
A nun suggested your little sister needed a spanking because she was acting out her grief at losing her mother? That is just awful
children end up in prisons; mental institutions; - use commas instead of semicolons
killed in an auto accident when she was fourteen, writes - add the comma
Because I lost my mother when I was in second grade, I very much identify with your experiences. My mom died in 1959 and still my grief for that loss in my life is a major part of my life.
You write with great insight and sensitivity :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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My classmates were clearly avoiding me, and I had - add comma
the school principle - principal
A nun suggested your little sister needed a spanking because she was acting out her grief at losing her mother? That is just awful
children end up in prisons; mental institutions; - use commas instead of semicolons
killed in an auto accident when she was fourteen, writes - add the comma
Because I lost my mother when I was in second grade, I very much identify with your experiences. My mom died in 1959 and still my grief for that loss in my life is a major part of my life.
You write with great insight and sensitivity :-) Brooke
Comment Written 30-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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Thank you, Brooke. We were about the same age then. I am sorry and at the same time impressed that you were able to make so much of your life. A great writer, a great mom and a well-educated, sophisticated person. What a testimony to your strength of will. At 58, I can finally say that mostly I am grateful for the way that my experience allows me to have empathy for others. I don't know that I would be that kind of person if it were not for the loss. I hope you'll check out Hope's books. There are amazing insights in both of them that I really did find comforting. Thanks for catching the SPAG's - I debated on the semi-colons LOL. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from misscookie
I'm sorry for te p[assing of your mothetr I can relate for my mother went to be with the Lotrd a year ago. and with my two children and my husbannd I have not grieve yet. why I don't know why ,my friends think I shoild see a head strink.
Yhank you for sharing your inner feeling.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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I'm sorry for te p[assing of your mothetr I can relate for my mother went to be with the Lotrd a year ago. and with my two children and my husbannd I have not grieve yet. why I don't know why ,my friends think I shoild see a head strink.
Yhank you for sharing your inner feeling.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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Hi, misscookie. I believe you will grieve your mother's passing in the exact right time for you. Please don't let your friends try to talk you into anything. I really would suggest Hope Edelman's books. They might trigger some feeling for you and allow for you to express your grief in your own way. Good luck, dear lady. I'm available at any time if you would like to PM me and talk about your situation. No pressure...just so you know I'm there. Love, Bev
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Thank you very much for you kindness and I will ask my daugther to get the book for me.
God bless you for being so kuind
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It's easy to be kind to such a gracious and generous person such as you, Miss Cookie. Blessings in the New Year! Hugs, Bev
Comment from Piggies Grandma
Your story is cleverly written and very well thought out Writingfundimension. I enjoyed reading it very much but it is very sad that any child should have to go through this. It must have been hard for your father too.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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Your story is cleverly written and very well thought out Writingfundimension. I enjoyed reading it very much but it is very sad that any child should have to go through this. It must have been hard for your father too.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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It was extremely hard on the whole family, my father included. He still refuses to talk about my mother. Thanks for your supportive and kind review, PG. I really appreciate it. Bev
Comment from robina1978
This is so true what you wrote: for children to lose their mother at such a young age is horrendous. The remaining parent usually can't help them with their grieving as they grieve too much themselves. So realistically written and with so much emotion of course.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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This is so true what you wrote: for children to lose their mother at such a young age is horrendous. The remaining parent usually can't help them with their grieving as they grieve too much themselves. So realistically written and with so much emotion of course.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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Thank you, Ine. You offer an extremely valid viewpoint here - that the remaining family members are unable to help the young child due to their own grieving. Thank you for reading and offering your wonderful, supportive words. I appreciate it! Warm regards, Bev
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welcome Bev, I thought you also meant that partly.
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Oh Bev, This is so sad and beautiful. You have such a great understanding of the difficulties that you have been through. I cannot think of a sadder thing than losing your mother at the age of 7. A lifetime of sorrow. Giddy
Bev, I still haven't finished my essay. While we were away I injured my back again and have been a little (a lot really) out of sorts. I seem to get extremely fatigued, but pleased to say I'm certainly improving. How did you go with yours?
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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Oh Bev, This is so sad and beautiful. You have such a great understanding of the difficulties that you have been through. I cannot think of a sadder thing than losing your mother at the age of 7. A lifetime of sorrow. Giddy
Bev, I still haven't finished my essay. While we were away I injured my back again and have been a little (a lot really) out of sorts. I seem to get extremely fatigued, but pleased to say I'm certainly improving. How did you go with yours?
Comment Written 30-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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Hi, Giddy! I am so honored by your exceptional review and your kind words. Thank you for your support and understanding. And, I am still working on my essay, too. I'm sorry that you injured your back! That just makes every movement difficult leading to the fatigue, I'm sure. Whenever you're ready, we can get together. You just take your time and get well, buddy. Love ya, Bev
