Polish
A Lack Lustre Sonnet30 total reviews
Comment from the blue pixel
You and I are on the same page Closet but only on the surface as I posted a pretend sonnet yesterday but you have posted a fair dinkum, 'real' one. Your first line is extremely clever and subtle for you are right. Good poetry doesn't actually shout out loud, "look at me, here is where all my cleverness is" - it's just quite simply there as in this sonnet of yours. I loved this and the way you end the poem with a similar thought to that with which you began it, and in that respect, you tell a story here. You DO measure up of course but the whole metaphor of polish and shine and veneer not to mention the very well chosen picture, makes this sonnet almost allegorical as well. Spot on form wise (as I have recently learned). Great stuff my friend. xxX Pix
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2011
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You and I are on the same page Closet but only on the surface as I posted a pretend sonnet yesterday but you have posted a fair dinkum, 'real' one. Your first line is extremely clever and subtle for you are right. Good poetry doesn't actually shout out loud, "look at me, here is where all my cleverness is" - it's just quite simply there as in this sonnet of yours. I loved this and the way you end the poem with a similar thought to that with which you began it, and in that respect, you tell a story here. You DO measure up of course but the whole metaphor of polish and shine and veneer not to mention the very well chosen picture, makes this sonnet almost allegorical as well. Spot on form wise (as I have recently learned). Great stuff my friend. xxX Pix
Comment Written 17-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2011
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Hey Pix...thanks so much. I only ran with a concept. Sometimes I do feel like nothing I do is right but not all the time and he does pay me a few compliments. I just thought of the first line and had to go for it. I thankyou for your delightful review and epic as always.
Closet xoxoxo
Comment from rchitwood
Your poem is very creative and I enjoyed reading it.Your description of the lyrics not coming up to standard.Very smooth line flow and your photo compliments your poem well>Blessings Rita
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2011
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Your poem is very creative and I enjoyed reading it.Your description of the lyrics not coming up to standard.Very smooth line flow and your photo compliments your poem well>Blessings Rita
Comment Written 17-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2011
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Thanks rita, I appreciate your thoughtful review.
Closet xo
Comment from despiser
Oh I get it - lack lustre haha
Cause I was going to give it to you girl!
How can anyone not see that beneath that Bnai veneer, there is a true Bnai inside? Witty widdo wight weads weawwy weww
-D xx
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2011
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Oh I get it - lack lustre haha
Cause I was going to give it to you girl!
How can anyone not see that beneath that Bnai veneer, there is a true Bnai inside? Witty widdo wight weads weawwy weww
-D xx
Comment Written 17-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2011
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Why what a wuvverwy weview. LOL
Thanks for noticing it was a bit lack lustre.
Cheers
cpJBnai xoxo
Comment from Deejharrington
It may not be bio, but I think all of us run into people that we will never please. No matter what we do, we fail to live up to their expectations. You could even apply this to a few reviewers I know on this site:) You expressed it so well. I liked the comparison to the finish on wood.
deb
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2011
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It may not be bio, but I think all of us run into people that we will never please. No matter what we do, we fail to live up to their expectations. You could even apply this to a few reviewers I know on this site:) You expressed it so well. I liked the comparison to the finish on wood.
deb
Comment Written 17-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2011
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Indeed we do deb. Many thanks for a delightful review and I am glad you enjoyed.
Cheers closet xo
Happy Holidays...
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you're welcome
deb
Comment from djsaxon
I love this,P. Can't do another sixer, cos Tom won't wear it. "I just can't buff out cracks from my veneer ..." perfect closer. "My lyrics hardly ever fit your song" Another pearler. Can't begin to tell you how closely I can relate to that. I'm on my notebook. My other computer died halfway through my review - total power drop out - shit! I blame you of course LOL for posting two in a row. Pisses me off majorly. I had reached edit stage with the next chapter of RAISING DANIEL. Whoa. This supposed to be a review, not an I me I me bleat. You always always always write from the heart, and it so shines through in your work. You and Xylok have managed to drag me from a dark place and have lead me by the the 'short n curlies' into the light. Thanx. x
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2011
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I love this,P. Can't do another sixer, cos Tom won't wear it. "I just can't buff out cracks from my veneer ..." perfect closer. "My lyrics hardly ever fit your song" Another pearler. Can't begin to tell you how closely I can relate to that. I'm on my notebook. My other computer died halfway through my review - total power drop out - shit! I blame you of course LOL for posting two in a row. Pisses me off majorly. I had reached edit stage with the next chapter of RAISING DANIEL. Whoa. This supposed to be a review, not an I me I me bleat. You always always always write from the heart, and it so shines through in your work. You and Xylok have managed to drag me from a dark place and have lead me by the the 'short n curlies' into the light. Thanx. x
Comment Written 17-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2011
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Thanks very much my friend.
Sorry your computer died.
Cheers P
x
Comment from Connie C
Wow! I really like the way you use metaphor here, so very clever,
dear Closet. And what a perfect sonnet it is, but then I wouldn't
expect any less from you! The very first line hooked me in right
away. (I won't repeat that line as some do in reviews.)
I'm glad this isn't really a biographical piece. Great work, sweetie.
Connie
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2011
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Wow! I really like the way you use metaphor here, so very clever,
dear Closet. And what a perfect sonnet it is, but then I wouldn't
expect any less from you! The very first line hooked me in right
away. (I won't repeat that line as some do in reviews.)
I'm glad this isn't really a biographical piece. Great work, sweetie.
Connie
Comment Written 17-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2011
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Hey Connie, thanks so much sweety, I am okay and its only occasionally I feel like this...you know I like to amp it up.
He does pay me compliments and is more appreciative of me in some ways than others. I just thought of the first line when I read something here somewhere and had to run with it...
Cheers Phillippa xoxoxo
Comment from percival86jack
"The fact I'll never measure up is clear
I just can't buff out cracks from my veneer"
Never had to deal with a relationship like the one you describe. Mine have all been boring but beautiful! WOWSERS! Must sound like I've had a bunch of 'em, eh? Big hugs, Jasck xxxxxxxxx
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2011
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"The fact I'll never measure up is clear
I just can't buff out cracks from my veneer"
Never had to deal with a relationship like the one you describe. Mine have all been boring but beautiful! WOWSERS! Must sound like I've had a bunch of 'em, eh? Big hugs, Jasck xxxxxxxxx
Comment Written 17-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2011
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I deal with one a lot...its not always this bad but sometimes I honestly feel like I just don't measure up...despite the fact I absolute ooooooooze confidence! LOL
Cheers and happy holidays.
Closet xoxo
Comment from Warren Rodgers
CPJ,
Your sonnet is really anything but lack luster. Though I am glad to see it is not a bio, it came from somewhere and I know you well enough to say this will just make you even stronger, and more determined. Expertly done in conveying your feelings to the reader. After having just reviewed your twitter poem, this one has certainly changed my mood and that's good because it is supposed to do that. Sad to think that there are people who don't recognize ones efforts even when the result is a polished shine. I love the lines "You never see the polish in my shine"
"my lyrics hardly ever fit your song"
oh hell I like 'em all!
I find the real sadness in your third verse, it is just brilliant!! The couplet is sad in it's lack of hope but again, wonderfully written and a masterful close to the sonnet. I have one tiny word suggestion and that would be on the last line to change "out" to "the" since buff already means you are rubbing the veneer to make it look better. I think it helps the flow? Either way is fine really. Exceptional in all ways my friend but I am sorry the site is limiting me to the ordinary scoring.
All my best,
Cheers!
Wazzzaaaa
xoxo
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2011
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CPJ,
Your sonnet is really anything but lack luster. Though I am glad to see it is not a bio, it came from somewhere and I know you well enough to say this will just make you even stronger, and more determined. Expertly done in conveying your feelings to the reader. After having just reviewed your twitter poem, this one has certainly changed my mood and that's good because it is supposed to do that. Sad to think that there are people who don't recognize ones efforts even when the result is a polished shine. I love the lines "You never see the polish in my shine"
"my lyrics hardly ever fit your song"
oh hell I like 'em all!
I find the real sadness in your third verse, it is just brilliant!! The couplet is sad in it's lack of hope but again, wonderfully written and a masterful close to the sonnet. I have one tiny word suggestion and that would be on the last line to change "out" to "the" since buff already means you are rubbing the veneer to make it look better. I think it helps the flow? Either way is fine really. Exceptional in all ways my friend but I am sorry the site is limiting me to the ordinary scoring.
All my best,
Cheers!
Wazzzaaaa
xoxo
Comment Written 17-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2011
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You're right sweety. It DID come from inside but its not always like this...just sometimes I can't take a trick. He picks at my methods constantly...even when it doesn't even affect his day.
We tend to try and tell each other the best way to go about something...don't worry though, I quite often give as good as I get if need be. I'm sure you've worked out I'm a little fiery huh? hee hee
Cheers sweet friend and thanks for the sterling and rather epic review. You don't have to write so much buddy...but I sure appreciate you for doing so. Your reviews NEVER disappoint.
Cheers and big hugs Phillippa
xoxo
Merry Christmas Octobro!
PS I shall go fiddle with that line...I had 5 alternate lines believe it or not and I was worried about using buff...I checked out the meaning and do concur...I go fix...knew I could count on my Octomate...thanxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Comment from Frankeddy
Lovely little sonnet, with your great rhyming scheme.
The rhyme and meter keeps it flowing nicely.
Your accompanying picture shows the shine and the polish.
Placed in a bright and easy to read setting.
Another great one.
Frankeddy
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2011
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Lovely little sonnet, with your great rhyming scheme.
The rhyme and meter keeps it flowing nicely.
Your accompanying picture shows the shine and the polish.
Placed in a bright and easy to read setting.
Another great one.
Frankeddy
Comment Written 17-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2011
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Thanks Ed, glad you enjoyed despite this was a little sad and reflective.
Cheers closet xo
Hugs for Marg...
Happy Holidays...
Comment from Rasp E
Mmmm, it's one of the biggest ironies of our existence, isn't it? That we loathe illusions, yet they're our self defense mechanism against all the shoulds and oughts.
This is a nice expression of that dilemma. Plus an achy sort of acquiesence to the fact that we all know the veneers are there, that they aren't genuinely opaque, and they don't really protect us after all. A little defiance is probably the best way to go, huh? And I'm glad there's defiance laced through this one. :)
Have a good one.
Erica
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2011
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Mmmm, it's one of the biggest ironies of our existence, isn't it? That we loathe illusions, yet they're our self defense mechanism against all the shoulds and oughts.
This is a nice expression of that dilemma. Plus an achy sort of acquiesence to the fact that we all know the veneers are there, that they aren't genuinely opaque, and they don't really protect us after all. A little defiance is probably the best way to go, huh? And I'm glad there's defiance laced through this one. :)
Have a good one.
Erica
Comment Written 17-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2011
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What a lovely analysis Erica, I thank you sincerely.
Cheers Phillippa
