Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 44 "part 1 Chapter 14"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
64 total reviews
Comment from judiverse
Great reading, barbara. You keep the tension going, as if something terrible is going to happen to Anna again. I like the way Troy has of being so protective. Effective use of italics to show Anna's thoughts. Troy seems to be supportive and helpful so far. Hope he doesn't let her down! Well done. judi
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2011
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Great reading, barbara. You keep the tension going, as if something terrible is going to happen to Anna again. I like the way Troy has of being so protective. Effective use of italics to show Anna's thoughts. Troy seems to be supportive and helpful so far. Hope he doesn't let her down! Well done. judi
Comment Written 11-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from RazberryBullet
An ominous ending! I hope Troy gets to Michael before the dog does. Anna has enough problems without an injured baby.
Well done!
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2011
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An ominous ending! I hope Troy gets to Michael before the dog does. Anna has enough problems without an injured baby.
Well done!
Comment Written 11-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Dave M
Barbara,
Anna's trying to lead a normal life, living alone with her baby, but she's apprehensive. I see you left a cliff-hanger at the end of the chapter. I also wonder what Anna would think of Troy eyeing her backsides.
I enjoyed this read and found nothing to criticize.
Dave
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2011
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Barbara,
Anna's trying to lead a normal life, living alone with her baby, but she's apprehensive. I see you left a cliff-hanger at the end of the chapter. I also wonder what Anna would think of Troy eyeing her backsides.
I enjoyed this read and found nothing to criticize.
Dave
Comment Written 11-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2011
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Thank you for your kind review. I can't imagine a healthy male not eying rear end when it's right in front of him.
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Barbara,
You are so right about that. I promised to love, honor and cherish my wife, but I didn't say anything about looking.
Dave
Comment from Paradox Tremors
Oh, God, tell me the dog won't get Michael! That's the last thing Anna needs to happen. Wow, I got to go back and catch up with this when time permits. This story is better than I remembered it. Enjoyed it.!
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2011
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Oh, God, tell me the dog won't get Michael! That's the last thing Anna needs to happen. Wow, I got to go back and catch up with this when time permits. This story is better than I remembered it. Enjoyed it.!
Comment Written 11-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from CALLAHANMR
hi Barbara:)
Now Michael is in danger from an unexpected event. An interesting twist from the harassments brought on by Anna's former husband and mother-in-law. As ususal, I have some specific comments:
1. Early Saturday morning Anna lay in bed. Last week Troy and I ate lunch together every day. I wonder if he's planning to continue it next week. She smiled. I hope so. She sat up in bed. "There's Michael. I knew it wouldn't[last] long." {Did you leave out the word 'last'?}
2. Anna struggled to carry Michael, the walker, and drug the vacuum outside. {I think there is a problem with the grammar in this sentence. I suggest: Anna struggled to carry Michael and the walker as she dragged the vacuum outside.}
Now you have increased the suspense from unknown phone calls. while providing a new cliffhanger. Great writing!
Roger
3. Out of the corner of his eye, Troy noticed a teenage male walking two large mixed-breed dogs. The larger one lunged forward and the boy lost his grip. The dog headed toward Michael. {A reason to never leave a child where unexpected events can place them in danger. With all the problems with Michael's security, she should have been more alert to the surroundings.]
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2011
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hi Barbara:)
Now Michael is in danger from an unexpected event. An interesting twist from the harassments brought on by Anna's former husband and mother-in-law. As ususal, I have some specific comments:
1. Early Saturday morning Anna lay in bed. Last week Troy and I ate lunch together every day. I wonder if he's planning to continue it next week. She smiled. I hope so. She sat up in bed. "There's Michael. I knew it wouldn't[last] long." {Did you leave out the word 'last'?}
2. Anna struggled to carry Michael, the walker, and drug the vacuum outside. {I think there is a problem with the grammar in this sentence. I suggest: Anna struggled to carry Michael and the walker as she dragged the vacuum outside.}
Now you have increased the suspense from unknown phone calls. while providing a new cliffhanger. Great writing!
Roger
3. Out of the corner of his eye, Troy noticed a teenage male walking two large mixed-breed dogs. The larger one lunged forward and the boy lost his grip. The dog headed toward Michael. {A reason to never leave a child where unexpected events can place them in danger. With all the problems with Michael's security, she should have been more alert to the surroundings.]
Comment Written 11-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2011
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I agree, Anna has a real guilt issue in my next post. I have made the corrections.
Comment from Belinda
Hi, Barbara. Now I can imagine how intricate it is to juggle everyday tasks with caring for a baby, especially for women like Anna with danger lurking every moment. I wonder what will happen to Michael again this time. Intriguing.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2011
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Hi, Barbara. Now I can imagine how intricate it is to juggle everyday tasks with caring for a baby, especially for women like Anna with danger lurking every moment. I wonder what will happen to Michael again this time. Intriguing.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from oozer
Well done. the fear of the unknown--as regards anything could happeat anytime--seems well sustained throughout this
story and I myself, as reader, feel kept on high alert.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2011
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Well done. the fear of the unknown--as regards anything could happeat anytime--seems well sustained throughout this
story and I myself, as reader, feel kept on high alert.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
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You@re so welcome
Comment from Janie King
Oh no, a dog is headed towards the baby..ughhhhhh!..This is well-written but a little nerve wracking...Troy will save the day. Right? Ummmmmmmmmmmm. God bless.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2011
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Oh no, a dog is headed towards the baby..ughhhhhh!..This is well-written but a little nerve wracking...Troy will save the day. Right? Ummmmmmmmmmmm. God bless.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2011
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Thank you for the kind review. I will say Troy saved the baby, but that's all I'm saying.
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oh don't go there..now what..how long before you post again? Girl, my nerves are bent. (smile) God bless.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Barba
Just when I start to think things are looking better fo Anna. Things seem to turn around for the worst
I just hoe the dog only wants to play with Michel
I never know what to expect from you
That is what makes you a very good writer.
Gert
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2011
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Hello Barba
Just when I start to think things are looking better fo Anna. Things seem to turn around for the worst
I just hoe the dog only wants to play with Michel
I never know what to expect from you
That is what makes you a very good writer.
Gert
Comment Written 11-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2011
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I think that's a compliment. Thank you for the kind review.
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You are very welcome
Gert
Comment from adewpearl
Anna struggled to carry Michael, the walker, and drug the vacuum - drag
You depict well how Anna is never quite secure, always waiting for the other shoe to drop. You also depict well how no matter how hard a mother tries to do everything right, it is extremely difficult to do everything perfectly. So many accidents befall children with perfectly conscientious mothers. Brooke
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2011
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Anna struggled to carry Michael, the walker, and drug the vacuum - drag
You depict well how Anna is never quite secure, always waiting for the other shoe to drop. You also depict well how no matter how hard a mother tries to do everything right, it is extremely difficult to do everything perfectly. So many accidents befall children with perfectly conscientious mothers. Brooke
Comment Written 11-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2011
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I received a four because I had too many irrelevant descriptions. Do you think I do? I am worried about it. I will take care of the error. I appreciate your kind review.
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The first novel I read on this site was Margaret's book about coal miners - I would praise her descriptive detail of setting and one or two reviewers would tell her to prune the same detail and cut to the chase. That kind of thing is a matter of personal preference.
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okay, I thought I had it trimmed at tight as I could and still show Anna as a caring, but nervous mother.
