The End is Near
A Vietnam War story from the other side.40 total reviews
Comment from Kingsland
This story was written on the perspective of the Vietnamese. You don't see many stories written on the perspective of the enemy of another country. It is very rare. This was a well written piece with excellent imagery, as I could picture the events taking place as you wrote them. This was just a very entertaining storyline to have read and written this response for... John
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2011
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This story was written on the perspective of the Vietnamese. You don't see many stories written on the perspective of the enemy of another country. It is very rare. This was a well written piece with excellent imagery, as I could picture the events taking place as you wrote them. This was just a very entertaining storyline to have read and written this response for... John
Comment Written 03-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2011
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Hi John - thank you very much. I don't know if you've read it, but I would love for you to read the other side, a post called Fung-one. Warm regards, Bill
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this si very well written, bill, a great job writing this story about the other side of the war in vietnam, i enjoyhed reading this and look forward to more of your writing
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2011
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this si very well written, bill, a great job writing this story about the other side of the war in vietnam, i enjoyhed reading this and look forward to more of your writing
Comment Written 03-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2011
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Thanks Pam - I very much appreciate you reading and for your nice comments. Bill
Comment from c_lucas
The Vietnam war is a war (police action) that shouldn't have happened. This is very well written to show the other side perspective. Good job.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2011
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The Vietnam war is a war (police action) that shouldn't have happened. This is very well written to show the other side perspective. Good job.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2011
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Thank you Charlie! You are right. Bill
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You're welcome, Bill. Charlie
Comment from sibhus
Wow, great details with lots of action that really gave this a sense of being in the heart of the battle. Nice too with Tran cleaning latrines and not thinking that the Colnel even new his name. Typical military life that felt real. I like the bitching between Lac and Tran that too seemed very typical of militayr life. This was a well written and enjoyable piece.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2011
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Wow, great details with lots of action that really gave this a sense of being in the heart of the battle. Nice too with Tran cleaning latrines and not thinking that the Colnel even new his name. Typical military life that felt real. I like the bitching between Lac and Tran that too seemed very typical of militayr life. This was a well written and enjoyable piece.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2011
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Thank you for reading and for your kind feedback. Bill
Comment from animatqua
I have been indoctrinated for over forty years to think of the Viet Cong as 'not human'. This story crashed through all of that thinking and put a face on these People for me.
I can't give you a compliment any higher, my friend.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2011
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I have been indoctrinated for over forty years to think of the Viet Cong as 'not human'. This story crashed through all of that thinking and put a face on these People for me.
I can't give you a compliment any higher, my friend.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2011
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If you could only look over the internet, you could see me smiling! I very much appreciate you reading and your comments.
Comment from humpwhistle
Bill, I'm not an expert on this stuff, but I think you
have a POV issue here. This isn't written in the first person, so the POV kind of wiggles. Your narrator imparts information that Tran cannot know.
I do get that you are writing from the North Vietnamese perspective, but, if I'm correct, that is different from POV.
I'd love to read this story from Tran's POV, but I don't think that is your intent.
If I'm incorrect in this, Bill, I'll trade you my Topps Ted Williams for your Fleer Bill Lee.
Just my thoughts, Bill.
Peace, my friend, Lee
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2011
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Bill, I'm not an expert on this stuff, but I think you
have a POV issue here. This isn't written in the first person, so the POV kind of wiggles. Your narrator imparts information that Tran cannot know.
I do get that you are writing from the North Vietnamese perspective, but, if I'm correct, that is different from POV.
I'd love to read this story from Tran's POV, but I don't think that is your intent.
If I'm incorrect in this, Bill, I'll trade you my Topps Ted Williams for your Fleer Bill Lee.
Just my thoughts, Bill.
Peace, my friend, Lee
Comment Written 03-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2011
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Hi Lee - you are totally right. I use that term POV quite liberally. It would be much more accurate to simply say it is from the North Vietnamese perspective. I know you read the other post, so thanks for reading them. Regards, Bill
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Great story, much of it is in passive voice. I change some to active voice. See what you think.
He and his friend Lac were engaged in the worst activity possible, throwing lime and dirt on top of one of the indoor latrine ditches. (at least a comma after friend and probably one after Lac)
The bantering was interrupted by one of the other soldiers. (passive voice, change to active ---One of the other soldiers interruprted the bantering.)
We're getting a coded message in." (omit in )
The two were huddled together in the communication bunker with the Colonel. (passive change to active----The two huddled)
Looking directly at Tran, the Colonel said, "Tran, you are a fine soldier. Your family should be very proud." He handed him the detonation switch. "If they breach our line and break through, blow the explosives. I will greet them all for you in hell." (omit the second Tran & I will should be I'll, I can't imagine a soldier saying I will at a time like this)
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2011
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Great story, much of it is in passive voice. I change some to active voice. See what you think.
He and his friend Lac were engaged in the worst activity possible, throwing lime and dirt on top of one of the indoor latrine ditches. (at least a comma after friend and probably one after Lac)
The bantering was interrupted by one of the other soldiers. (passive voice, change to active ---One of the other soldiers interruprted the bantering.)
We're getting a coded message in." (omit in )
The two were huddled together in the communication bunker with the Colonel. (passive change to active----The two huddled)
Looking directly at Tran, the Colonel said, "Tran, you are a fine soldier. Your family should be very proud." He handed him the detonation switch. "If they breach our line and break through, blow the explosives. I will greet them all for you in hell." (omit the second Tran & I will should be I'll, I can't imagine a soldier saying I will at a time like this)
Comment Written 03-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2011
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Hi Barbara - thanks for reading and for your excellent feedback! Always warm regards, Bill
Comment from gypsynet
my, what a poignant write with touching imagery that weaves a plot on humane persuasions.. the ending is revetingly gentle, almost spiritual in a batllefield setting that somehow forgets there is God; but here it does not... gppd pacing of the story that is life-like in all ways.. awe-inspiring
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2011
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my, what a poignant write with touching imagery that weaves a plot on humane persuasions.. the ending is revetingly gentle, almost spiritual in a batllefield setting that somehow forgets there is God; but here it does not... gppd pacing of the story that is life-like in all ways.. awe-inspiring
Comment Written 03-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2011
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Thank you very much for reading and for your very kind feedback. I appreciate both! Bill
Comment from rchitwood
Wow! Your story sent chills over me it is nice to know
how the other side felt during this horrible war.Than seems like any soldier wanting to just live.And the American who made the choice of for one instant creating peace in war time is so admirable.Very good dialogue and characters very believable and I would recommend this to others.Blessings Rita
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2011
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Wow! Your story sent chills over me it is nice to know
how the other side felt during this horrible war.Than seems like any soldier wanting to just live.And the American who made the choice of for one instant creating peace in war time is so admirable.Very good dialogue and characters very believable and I would recommend this to others.Blessings Rita
Comment Written 03-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2011
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Thank you very much Rita. You've been busy. I've read several posts from you lately. Warm regards, Bill
Comment from TammyGail
This was a stunning story .. I always enjoy your writing and this was no exception .. it was well written and expressed , very interesting you kept my full att from beginning to end.. I loved your ending to this story
Thanks for sharing it was a pleasure to read and review..
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reply by the author on 03-Dec-2011
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This was a stunning story .. I always enjoy your writing and this was no exception .. it was well written and expressed , very interesting you kept my full att from beginning to end.. I loved your ending to this story
Thanks for sharing it was a pleasure to read and review..
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2011
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Thank you Tammy - if you could look over the internet, you would see me smiling :) Bill
