Stand Strong
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Alive and Awake"Social pressures threaten a childhood friendship
87 total reviews
Comment from robina1978
Thanks for the foot note, but I liked it as well. Left by her friend and then meeting the guy she already fancied.
Luckily for her he turns out to be shy as well. Still wanting to obey her parents the pair work out a great scheme and have a nice evening, no wrong done.
Characters and dialogues very realistic. Nice plot.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2011
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Thanks for the foot note, but I liked it as well. Left by her friend and then meeting the guy she already fancied.
Luckily for her he turns out to be shy as well. Still wanting to obey her parents the pair work out a great scheme and have a nice evening, no wrong done.
Characters and dialogues very realistic. Nice plot.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2011
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Thank you much, Ine. I really appreciate your support for this chapter, especially your nod of approval for the way the two young folks worked out the situation to mutually benefit each other. That means a lot! I appreciate your interest and your generosity. Kindest regards, Bev
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Liked it truly. Good to write about something different for a change. Warmly and take care Bev, Ine
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You, too, Ine!
Comment from misscookie
As always there was never a dull moment. And you had my attention all the way. I held my breath when her father said you two didn't sit together
some one always makes a slip.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2011
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As always there was never a dull moment. And you had my attention all the way. I held my breath when her father said you two didn't sit together
some one always makes a slip.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2011
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Hi there, miss cookie. I really appreciate you taking time read this chapter and offer your support - means a lot to me. You are most kind! Hugs, Bev
Comment from Connie C
I guess I could be a Christian teen since I find this story very appealing and enjoyable to read. Your use of description and dialogue is perfect, and I stayed tuned in for the whole chapter. Can't wait to read more, my friend. You are talented at both poetry and storytelling. And I did not see a single spelling,grammar, punctuation error in the whole thing (I used to be an English teacher, so I'm always looking for errors.) Great job, Bev. Connie
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2011
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I guess I could be a Christian teen since I find this story very appealing and enjoyable to read. Your use of description and dialogue is perfect, and I stayed tuned in for the whole chapter. Can't wait to read more, my friend. You are talented at both poetry and storytelling. And I did not see a single spelling,grammar, punctuation error in the whole thing (I used to be an English teacher, so I'm always looking for errors.) Great job, Bev. Connie
Comment Written 28-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2011
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Hi, Connie. Thank you so much for your wonderful words of support for this chapter. And I love that you look for errors to correct! I 'cleaned' up some boo boo's thanks to previous reviewers. More than that, I appreciate your honest appraisal of the storyline and my writing. I am on cloud nine with your gracious generosity! Hugs, Bev
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You are most welcome, my friend. :>)
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Great writing my friend. The way you captured the concert just brought the entire thing to life - really well done. You also captured Mara's apprehension, and I love the way you handled her honest response to Gabe. Awesome work.
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2011
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Great writing my friend. The way you captured the concert just brought the entire thing to life - really well done. You also captured Mara's apprehension, and I love the way you handled her honest response to Gabe. Awesome work.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2011
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Thank you, Av. I really appreciate you taking time to read my chapter and share your thoughts on it. You are always so gracious and generous with your support. Warmest regards, Bev
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Truly my pleasure. And likewise, for sure. x
Comment from judiverse
Interesting developments, Writingfundimension. The dialogue is great and you have what seems an accurate picture of the Christian Rock Music scene. ( Not much for rock music myself, so I'm not much of a judge.) Mara's reactions to the cool guy also seem realistic. She has a bit of a conflict going on because she's not allowed to date yet. Guess we'll have to wait for her parents' reactions! Has the makings of a great story for young people. judiverse
I thought I remembered this from before. Mara is getting an idea of what Jujii is really like. Mara can only get into trouble if she continues her friendship with her. People can change, and that's what Jujii has done. Maybe her parents' divorce changed her. Interesting to see how she does with Gabe. judi
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2011
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Interesting developments, Writingfundimension. The dialogue is great and you have what seems an accurate picture of the Christian Rock Music scene. ( Not much for rock music myself, so I'm not much of a judge.) Mara's reactions to the cool guy also seem realistic. She has a bit of a conflict going on because she's not allowed to date yet. Guess we'll have to wait for her parents' reactions! Has the makings of a great story for young people. judiverse
I thought I remembered this from before. Mara is getting an idea of what Jujii is really like. Mara can only get into trouble if she continues her friendship with her. People can change, and that's what Jujii has done. Maybe her parents' divorce changed her. Interesting to see how she does with Gabe. judi
Comment Written 27-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2011
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Hi, judiverse. Thanks so much for taking time to read my chapter. I really appreciate your great insights into the characteres and encouragement for this chapter. I listen to a lot of Christian Rock - it's really bringing the young people into the churches. Skillet is a little outside my comfort level but it is one of the most popular bands. Again, thanks so much for your generosity! Hugs, Bev
Comment from IndianaIrish
Chapter Two is very, very good, Bev. Mara is a great character and I can't help but be interested in what she thinks and does. I would have liked to know if Gabe liked the concert...next chapter?
Indy :>)
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2011
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Chapter Two is very, very good, Bev. Mara is a great character and I can't help but be interested in what she thinks and does. I would have liked to know if Gabe liked the concert...next chapter?
Indy :>)
Comment Written 27-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2011
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Thanks, Indy. The concert is life-chaniging for both Mara and Gabe. I appreciate your insight as I will be sure to answer that question in a future chapter. Since I've been remiss in posting a timely second chapter to my story, I really appreciate you giving it a look. Always good to hear from you my kind and generous friend. Warmst regards, Bev
Comment from mr elis
I see how parents still trust their children,never mine if they are under age or not.Ofcourse this can be an exception of the rule.But most of all-of-if these are brought in a home where mom and dad,teach principles,respect and love..
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2011
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I see how parents still trust their children,never mine if they are under age or not.Ofcourse this can be an exception of the rule.But most of all-of-if these are brought in a home where mom and dad,teach principles,respect and love..
Comment Written 27-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2011
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Thank you mr ellis. I really apprecite your inisights and generous review. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from c_lucas
Teens are placed on the hot seats because of their age. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read.
Error
climbed unto (onto)the stage.
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2011
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Teens are placed on the hot seats because of their age. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read.
Error
climbed unto (onto)the stage.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2011
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Hi, Charlie. Thanks for catching that SPAG. I don't think I'll ever get those two right! I appreciate, as always, your courteous and generous review. Warm regards, Bev
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You're welcome, Bev. Charlie
Comment from Aveindha
I would have given it a 6 if i was a member! Which I am not, but will be soon. I loved you're story. It was very well written, relaistic, and as short as it was, still had time to explain the complexities of Mara's personality, her insecurities with herself, her guilt at having sinned ( gone knowingly against her parents wishes and having had lied to Gabe to appear nonchalant and cool..) The conflict within herself, temptation pulling her one way but her roots in christianity and her obvious faith pulling her the other. It discusses many important issues all christians (not evn just teenagers) are faced with on a daily basis. People do not reaslise how difficult it is to keep on the right path once you know what it is, it seems to become more difficult somehow. I thouroughly enjoyed you're story and have no criticisms.
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2011
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I would have given it a 6 if i was a member! Which I am not, but will be soon. I loved you're story. It was very well written, relaistic, and as short as it was, still had time to explain the complexities of Mara's personality, her insecurities with herself, her guilt at having sinned ( gone knowingly against her parents wishes and having had lied to Gabe to appear nonchalant and cool..) The conflict within herself, temptation pulling her one way but her roots in christianity and her obvious faith pulling her the other. It discusses many important issues all christians (not evn just teenagers) are faced with on a daily basis. People do not reaslise how difficult it is to keep on the right path once you know what it is, it seems to become more difficult somehow. I thouroughly enjoyed you're story and have no criticisms.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2011
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Thank you so much for your extensive review and support for this chapter, Aveindha. I'm getting a better feel for my characters with each chapter, so your insights are absolutely invaluable into possible direction for future writing. I'm going to try to nominate you as a reviewer because of the great inspiration you've offered here and the time you took to send your thougths. I look foward to reading your posts just as soon as you join. Please let me know when you do by PM'ing me. Blessings, Bev
Comment from InterestingRon
Hi Bev
This is so well written I'm sure it's true?
You have got completely into the head of Mara.
This chapter is mainly dialogue driven and your dialogue is excellent.
A good read for us grownups as well as teens.
Ron xox
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2011
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Hi Bev
This is so well written I'm sure it's true?
You have got completely into the head of Mara.
This chapter is mainly dialogue driven and your dialogue is excellent.
A good read for us grownups as well as teens.
Ron xox
Comment Written 27-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2011
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Hiya, Ron. I'm drawing on my memories of a concert I attended last summer with my nieces. Can't get anything past you lol!! I love this review. You are such a wonderful support system for me and always gracious and generous. Hugs, Bev
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Hugs back. xoxo
