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Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "(haiku) House Cleaning "
Two bank robbers hide in a women's boarding house.
12 total reviews
Comment from
patsolstad
This is a very nice haiku. I like the near rhymes at the ends of lines one and three, and the alliteration of vain/vanish. The subject matter is appealing, too. Nice work.
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Comment Written 12-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2011
Thanks pat. Appreciate the read. I'm trying to declutter my house.
Comment from
stanzasandstuff
Very well written and I also loved the message. It is indeed amazing what some people choose to throw away. My only criticism, is that I don't think these memories are vain. I would put "Explain memories of youth' (tomorrows rubbish) Anyway, It's well written as it is.
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Comment Written 12-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2011
I meant vain as in something that has no purpose anymore Out with the old. On with the new. But I understand your POV too.
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