The dragon Mareng
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Last years at college"Mareng growing up and all kinds
14 total reviews
Comment from Jean Lutz
Real school years seem to pass by almost as fast as your story. At least for parents and grandparents. Maybe not so for children and teachers. Reality sat in for me almost as soon as I started it. Sad so many youth are preparing then end up having to take or keep the same jobs they worked to pay for the preparing i.e. fast foods or babysitting.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2011
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Real school years seem to pass by almost as fast as your story. At least for parents and grandparents. Maybe not so for children and teachers. Reality sat in for me almost as soon as I started it. Sad so many youth are preparing then end up having to take or keep the same jobs they worked to pay for the preparing i.e. fast foods or babysitting.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2011
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Thanks so much for your kind and thoughtful review. Much appreciated. Blessings, Ine. Yes does pass fast whether you are younf or a parent I think.
Comment from Charlene0513
To robina1978,
A short story of the trials the two dragons face once they have acquired their license and then expected to find jobs and still keep up their chores, etc.
Errors detected were:
1)....not by much, as some of their pal[l]s(pals)....
2)I still want to become a [D]doctor, you know.
3)He would earn ($)7[,].50 dollars an hour.
4)They had told him he had to do some cleaning[,]. (He) was allowed to put patients on and off the toilet, make beds and sometimes assist a registered nurse when asked [and] under her supervision. He was(told he would)[to] start next week.
5)When he arrived back home he told his parents[:](,)"I have a job [from](for) next week and guess how much I will earn[.]?" (question asked)
6)...money is involved[.] [And-omit](or) how often will you be working?"
7)But you won't believe how much it pays per hour[:], ($)7[,].50 dollars
8)...it paid less, (only) [(]($)5[,].00 dollars an hour [)].(no parenthesis required)
9)....they could [sit](try for) their driving test.
10)....special occasions[:] if they had to go....
11)....for the whole country. [And the](T)[t]eachers had to... make
12)...with a few of their pal[l]s, when Mara was the first to remember[.],lets [Of course] all [made a] call [to] home first.
13)...new outfits for this [so] special ball.
Charlene
**robina you ask for leniency; would you rather me not review your work anymore when I see errors.
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reply by the author on 14-Nov-2011
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To robina1978,
A short story of the trials the two dragons face once they have acquired their license and then expected to find jobs and still keep up their chores, etc.
Errors detected were:
1)....not by much, as some of their pal[l]s(pals)....
2)I still want to become a [D]doctor, you know.
3)He would earn ($)7[,].50 dollars an hour.
4)They had told him he had to do some cleaning[,]. (He) was allowed to put patients on and off the toilet, make beds and sometimes assist a registered nurse when asked [and] under her supervision. He was(told he would)[to] start next week.
5)When he arrived back home he told his parents[:](,)"I have a job [from](for) next week and guess how much I will earn[.]?" (question asked)
6)...money is involved[.] [And-omit](or) how often will you be working?"
7)But you won't believe how much it pays per hour[:], ($)7[,].50 dollars
8)...it paid less, (only) [(]($)5[,].00 dollars an hour [)].(no parenthesis required)
9)....they could [sit](try for) their driving test.
10)....special occasions[:] if they had to go....
11)....for the whole country. [And the](T)[t]eachers had to... make
12)...with a few of their pal[l]s, when Mara was the first to remember[.],lets [Of course] all [made a] call [to] home first.
13)...new outfits for this [so] special ball.
Charlene
**robina you ask for leniency; would you rather me not review your work anymore when I see errors.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2011
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Thanks so much for your time and review. Blessings and take care, Ine
Comment from Janie King
graduate college in 6th grade?..driver's licenses in the sixth grade...things much be very different where you are..good piece..God bless.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2011
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graduate college in 6th grade?..driver's licenses in the sixth grade...things much be very different where you are..good piece..God bless.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2011
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Thanks so much for your time and review. Blessings and take care, Ine. Yes I think it is and more or less in the UK if Robert remembers correctly
Comment from Cumbrianlass
I think it's so sweet that you take us through their teen years and puberty. Graduating college and learning to drive. I have enjoyed this tale of yours so much, Ine. Well done.
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2011
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I think it's so sweet that you take us through their teen years and puberty. Graduating college and learning to drive. I have enjoyed this tale of yours so much, Ine. Well done.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2011
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Thanks so much for your time and review. Blessings and take care, Ine
Comment from elgone
Am am still in love with the characters and the story. It works well for the intended audience, I think.
One possible nit. You used a comma between the dollars and cent in a monetary expression. This side of the Atlantic it would be a period.
E
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2011
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Am am still in love with the characters and the story. It works well for the intended audience, I think.
One possible nit. You used a comma between the dollars and cent in a monetary expression. This side of the Atlantic it would be a period.
E
Comment Written 13-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2011
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Thanks for your kind and thoughtful review. Have a nice Sunday, Ine. Thanks for the tip. Will add it is written in UK English.
Comment from Gungalo
This should prove interesting. The ball, eh? I am glad they are going together for it is a natural thing. They have really come a very long way.
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2011
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This should prove interesting. The ball, eh? I am glad they are going together for it is a natural thing. They have really come a very long way.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2011
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Thanks for your kind review. Have a lovely weekend, Ine. Yes, is going to be the last chapter.
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Ah so final but so very needed.
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yes, some guessed already a few chapters earlier. My writing must be too obvious, or some know me too well.
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Well that is good, no?
Comment from Dutchie
Very well written this chapter. It brings back some memories. Except the graduation ball. I attended an only-girls school. Very borrowing...So no ball for us.
The story has a nice flow and it's interesting to follow the life of those two children. It kept my attention all the way. Great job.Have a nice weekend and take care. Liefs, Fia
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2011
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Very well written this chapter. It brings back some memories. Except the graduation ball. I attended an only-girls school. Very borrowing...So no ball for us.
The story has a nice flow and it's interesting to follow the life of those two children. It kept my attention all the way. Great job.Have a nice weekend and take care. Liefs, Fia
Comment Written 12-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2011
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Thanks for your kind review. Have a lovely weekend, Ine. We had several parties, but made it into this 1 as it is like that in the UK and the States I think. I would have hated an only girls school I think.
Comment from Betty517
I was very intrigued with your story at first I thought we were talking about Dogs LOL! But soon realized we were talking about two teenagers. Great read.
Betty
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2011
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I was very intrigued with your story at first I thought we were talking about Dogs LOL! But soon realized we were talking about two teenagers. Great read.
Betty
Comment Written 12-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2011
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Thanks for your kind review. Have a lovely weekend, Ine. Teenagers and their dogs. The teenagers are dragons, but that was too long to put in-LOL.
Comment from Showboat
This delightful story hit just the right notes for me. I'm a dog lover and utilize them in my stories.
I can easily see a youngster reading this and chuckling all the way through.
Thanks for sharing this fanciful story,
Gayle
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2011
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This delightful story hit just the right notes for me. I'm a dog lover and utilize them in my stories.
I can easily see a youngster reading this and chuckling all the way through.
Thanks for sharing this fanciful story,
Gayle
Comment Written 12-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2011
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Thanks for your kind review. Have a lovely weekend, Ine.
Comment from Chris Tee
Ine, I am not following this story as I have to many others from other friends to read every day, but your title has a spelling error,
It should be Ball with a double "l"
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2011
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Ine, I am not following this story as I have to many others from other friends to read every day, but your title has a spelling error,
It should be Ball with a double "l"
Comment Written 12-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2011
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Thanks for your kind review. Have a lovely weekend, Ine. Thanks for the tip, but there was no place for the extra l. And I don't understand why all can see it already, Robert is still checking it-LOL.
