Pierce My Heart
Spiritual Song Lyrics40 total reviews
Comment from oNray
This was very nice and peaceful. I was so happy to see happy in your poem as it has been a sad day of poems for Veterans day. Thank you for happy
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2011
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This was very nice and peaceful. I was so happy to see happy in your poem as it has been a sad day of poems for Veterans day. Thank you for happy
Comment Written 11-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2011
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Thank you so much oNray for your gracious review. I really appreciate you reading and reviewing my poem/song. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from psalmist
What a terrific song, Bev. It has such an upbeat tempo. I love the refrain, God sends us messages and reassurances in so many ways, even a stranger's smile. I like the way the mood shifted between verses and refrain, we may face hardships and have a difficult journey, but God will find a way to help us through. Linda
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2011
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What a terrific song, Bev. It has such an upbeat tempo. I love the refrain, God sends us messages and reassurances in so many ways, even a stranger's smile. I like the way the mood shifted between verses and refrain, we may face hardships and have a difficult journey, but God will find a way to help us through. Linda
Comment Written 11-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2011
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Hi, Linda. Thank you so very much for this terrific review. I so appreciate you taking time out to read my song/poem and offering your insights. It's always a joy to hear from you! Heart Blessings, Bev
Comment from allborn66
This is a very interesting song. I like the flow that it has. It has a nice rhythm. I like the word choice. The picture is interesting.
Barbara
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2011
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This is a very interesting song. I like the flow that it has. It has a nice rhythm. I like the word choice. The picture is interesting.
Barbara
Comment Written 11-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2011
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Thank you so much, Barbara. I really appreciate your generous review. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from missy98writer
Bev,
your spiritual verse is extremely well written. Your song has an excellent rhythm and chorus. The art work is wicked cool. I love how spirituality flows down the page as I sung your poem in my head. Great job using assonance, cadence and alliteration in your lyrical verse. I enjoyed your lines; "So, pierce my heart the way I pierce yours and drop me to my knees. But most of all watch for me as I stumble through dead dreams." I could hear a blues kind of sound and I could imagine Joss Stone or even Adele singing this song, but they write their own generally. I love your metaphors: "Let your blessin' rain down the chokin' weeds, send a sigh, note that's sung and whisper at the bottom of a wind." I loved your poem. I'd recommend your poem that nourishes the readers mind. Keep on writing with heart and do more lyrical poetry, my friend. Please have a blessed day.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2011
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Bev,
your spiritual verse is extremely well written. Your song has an excellent rhythm and chorus. The art work is wicked cool. I love how spirituality flows down the page as I sung your poem in my head. Great job using assonance, cadence and alliteration in your lyrical verse. I enjoyed your lines; "So, pierce my heart the way I pierce yours and drop me to my knees. But most of all watch for me as I stumble through dead dreams." I could hear a blues kind of sound and I could imagine Joss Stone or even Adele singing this song, but they write their own generally. I love your metaphors: "Let your blessin' rain down the chokin' weeds, send a sigh, note that's sung and whisper at the bottom of a wind." I loved your poem. I'd recommend your poem that nourishes the readers mind. Keep on writing with heart and do more lyrical poetry, my friend. Please have a blessed day.
Melissa.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2011
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Hi, Melissa. Thank you so much for this awesome review. I feel very honored by your encouragement and support as well as your generosity. Kindest regards, Bev
Comment from judiverse
This is definitely a winner, Makes me glad I decided to become a fan. The image of the stranger's smile was so powerful and makes a beautiful refrain. You references to the cages full of men, women who drowned their babies, and the old man, dying, praying were great. Hope you know someone who can do it justice as a song. Best regards, judi
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2011
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This is definitely a winner, Makes me glad I decided to become a fan. The image of the stranger's smile was so powerful and makes a beautiful refrain. You references to the cages full of men, women who drowned their babies, and the old man, dying, praying were great. Hope you know someone who can do it justice as a song. Best regards, judi
Comment Written 11-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2011
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Hi, judi. Thank you for this wonderful and generous review. I love to sing, but can't really read music all that well. So, your suggestion is really intriguing to me. I so appreciae your kind words of support and letting me know what you liked about the song/poem. That is always so helpful, my friend. Heart Blessings, Bev
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You're quite welcome, Bev. And good luck with the piece. judi
Comment from vickib
Bev!!! Wow okay this was amazing. Your refrain is so wonderful and musical in a really special way. Can't the action of one person make your whole day? Outside the refrain the poetry is very intriguing to me, I love the depth of thought in this and really makes me pause and have to ponder it. It's so intellectual that I'm going to be thinking about this for awhile to understand it as you want it to be. Remember I'm slow. Tell me more about it when you have time. Gosh I'd love to hear it set to music. SUPER AND NEW FOR YOU-TOO COOL you talented woman. XO Vicki
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2011
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Bev!!! Wow okay this was amazing. Your refrain is so wonderful and musical in a really special way. Can't the action of one person make your whole day? Outside the refrain the poetry is very intriguing to me, I love the depth of thought in this and really makes me pause and have to ponder it. It's so intellectual that I'm going to be thinking about this for awhile to understand it as you want it to be. Remember I'm slow. Tell me more about it when you have time. Gosh I'd love to hear it set to music. SUPER AND NEW FOR YOU-TOO COOL you talented woman. XO Vicki
Comment Written 11-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2011
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Hi, buddy. How sweet you are with your generous and considerate review. I will tell you a little more about it in a PM...I don't read music but love to sing. I'm getting some good feedback on this first attempt, so I will definitely look at doing more. So, when will we be seeing some of your fantastic poetry? Love ya, Bev
Comment from JW
In reading this song, I would be curious about the melody. I would definitely want to listen to it. It seems quite unusual.
Thanks for sharing this. JW
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2011
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In reading this song, I would be curious about the melody. I would definitely want to listen to it. It seems quite unusual.
Thanks for sharing this. JW
Comment Written 11-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2011
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Hi, JW. One little problem with this is that I don't read music all that well. Just like to sing!! A few folks have had some ideas about key...so maybe I will be able to tap into some help 'out there'. This has been an interesting diversion for me and has opened a new direction. Thanks so much for your support and generosity. Kind regards, Bev
Comment from AprilShower
Hi, Writingfundimension. I enjoyed reading this song. It will be great if it were put to music. This has a wonderful message. I liked the way the refrain rhymes.
April
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2011
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Hi, Writingfundimension. I enjoyed reading this song. It will be great if it were put to music. This has a wonderful message. I liked the way the refrain rhymes.
April
Comment Written 11-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2011
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Thanks so much, April. I really appreciate your generosity and support. I'm glad I posted this as it has presented me with another direction to consider with writing. Nice to keep things fresh lol! Heart Blessings, Bev
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You're welcome, Bev and heart blessings to you, too.
Comment from percival86jack
"Let the guy behind me smilin'
be my angel for today
and the sunlight streamin'
send the demons far away"
Extraordinary, my friend! If this is your first attempt at song writing, maybe you should consider taking it seriously! Hugs, Jack xxxxxx
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2011
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"Let the guy behind me smilin'
be my angel for today
and the sunlight streamin'
send the demons far away"
Extraordinary, my friend! If this is your first attempt at song writing, maybe you should consider taking it seriously! Hugs, Jack xxxxxx
Comment Written 11-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2011
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Hiya, Jack. Thanks so much for your awesome review. I really appreciate you taking the time to read my song/poem and let me know what you liked. Your generous support is really touching, my friend. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Hey, there, Bev! Wow - a song. I LOVE it. And I really love what inspired it. Just shows what a simple smile can do for someone. That refrain is great - now you just need to put the thing to music.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2011
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Hey, there, Bev! Wow - a song. I LOVE it. And I really love what inspired it. Just shows what a simple smile can do for someone. That refrain is great - now you just need to put the thing to music.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2011
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Hi, Av. Thanks so much for this awesome review. I sure appreciate your support and generosity. I'd love to put it to music if I knew how to write music lol! I just love singing. This was a fun experiment and offers a fun, new direction. Thanks again, my lovely friend. Warm regards, Bev
