The dragon Mareng
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Nicci and Artie fall in love"Mareng growing up and all kinds
13 total reviews
Comment from Charlene0513
To robina1978,
A day of trials and experiences when the family heads to the veterinarian to learn more about their pets.
Errors found were:
1)"(I)[S]suppose we have. (But)[F]for how long can they not go out together and what happens afterwards?(It is)[N]not [seeing each other is not-omit] nice for them as they will miss each other."
2)[And-omit] Then, they will never have to be separated anymore." (never start a sentence with "And")
3)The [V]vet said[:],"They a....
Mara[:](said,) "They would not like that,would they?"
4)...was a very good idea[.][A]and rated their....(one sent.)
5)[Mara:]-put at end of sent. "Mareng, do you think it would be possible that the same will happen to us as with Nicci and Artie?(Mara asked).
6){But they did not see this.}-be more explicit(see what?)
Charlene
*When using quotations never use the(:)punctuation unless you are listing a number of articles
ex. The Smiths were having a yard sale and the articles for sale were: bicycles
clothes
a television
tools
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2011
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To robina1978,
A day of trials and experiences when the family heads to the veterinarian to learn more about their pets.
Errors found were:
1)"(I)[S]suppose we have. (But)[F]for how long can they not go out together and what happens afterwards?(It is)[N]not [seeing each other is not-omit] nice for them as they will miss each other."
2)[And-omit] Then, they will never have to be separated anymore." (never start a sentence with "And")
3)The [V]vet said[:],"They a....
Mara[:](said,) "They would not like that,would they?"
4)...was a very good idea[.][A]and rated their....(one sent.)
5)[Mara:]-put at end of sent. "Mareng, do you think it would be possible that the same will happen to us as with Nicci and Artie?(Mara asked).
6){But they did not see this.}-be more explicit(see what?)
Charlene
*When using quotations never use the(:)punctuation unless you are listing a number of articles
ex. The Smiths were having a yard sale and the articles for sale were: bicycles
clothes
a television
tools
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2011
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Thanks for your kind and thoughtful review. Have a lovely Sunday, Ine
Comment from Jean Lutz
A gentle explanation of the "facts of life". Four of my grandkids got a early education as my daughter-in-law is a breeder of chihuahuas www.lilpaws.net.
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2011
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A gentle explanation of the "facts of life". Four of my grandkids got a early education as my daughter-in-law is a breeder of chihuahuas www.lilpaws.net.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2011
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Thanks for your kind and thoughtful review. Have a lovely Sunday, Ine. Also an even better way.
Comment from Dutchie
Hi Ine. This is really a good chapter. It's easy to understand and very educational for kids. It tells in a very pleasant way the things they need to know.
Funny to see how children think about friendship and love.
Well if you are lucky you can have both. On the other side, it can destroy a good friendship. Great job my dear friend. Liefs Fia.
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2011
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Hi Ine. This is really a good chapter. It's easy to understand and very educational for kids. It tells in a very pleasant way the things they need to know.
Funny to see how children think about friendship and love.
Well if you are lucky you can have both. On the other side, it can destroy a good friendship. Great job my dear friend. Liefs Fia.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2011
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Thanks so much for your kind and thoughtful review. Have a nice Sunday, Ine
Comment from elgone
As you know, I love your characters and the story. Structurally, there are a couple of missed carriage returns. As for the language and grammar, I found nothing troubling. It is written for younger people to enjoy and believe they will.
E
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2011
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As you know, I love your characters and the story. Structurally, there are a couple of missed carriage returns. As for the language and grammar, I found nothing troubling. It is written for younger people to enjoy and believe they will.
E
Comment Written 06-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2011
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Thanks so much for your kind and thoughtful review. Have a great weekend, Ine
Comment from rchitwood
Time will tell my friend and things will change for these two when they get older.Your story still is very good and I enjoyed reading it.Held my attention and very creative good imagination.Your photo is very good and compliments your poem well.Blessings Rita
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2011
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Time will tell my friend and things will change for these two when they get older.Your story still is very good and I enjoyed reading it.Held my attention and very creative good imagination.Your photo is very good and compliments your poem well.Blessings Rita
Comment Written 05-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2011
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Thanks so much for your kind and thoughtful review. Have a great weekend, Ine
Comment from misscookie
I thught you did a wonderful job explaininbg about how babies come and who is ready for the hard job of caring for prppies. I thought you story was very educational and cute. thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2011
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I thught you did a wonderful job explaininbg about how babies come and who is ready for the hard job of caring for prppies. I thought you story was very educational and cute. thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2011
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Thanks so much for your kind and thoughtful review. Have a great weekend, Ine
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Your very welcome. you do the same.
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Such a sweet and insightful write on how nature is. A lesson on growing up and embracing other delights and pleasures. Informative and well told.
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2011
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Such a sweet and insightful write on how nature is. A lesson on growing up and embracing other delights and pleasures. Informative and well told.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2011
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Thanks so much for your kind and thoughtful review. Have a great weekend, Ine
Comment from TammyGail
These chapters are really turning into something great
This was very well written
Loved your note and agree to the full
But who could not like such great writing ?
Very nice choice on your imagery it worked well with this
Thanks for sharing it was a pleasure
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2011
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These chapters are really turning into something great
This was very well written
Loved your note and agree to the full
But who could not like such great writing ?
Very nice choice on your imagery it worked well with this
Thanks for sharing it was a pleasure
Comment Written 05-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2011
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Thanks so much for your kind and thoughtful review. Have a great weekend, Ine
Comment from ephraim crud, COS.
another charming and delightful tale
of Mareng and Mara and there doggies,
Dutchess Ine, and have noted your
author notes with some amusement,
'..and refrain from reviewing if you don't like it'
warmly, xx, eph.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2011
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another charming and delightful tale
of Mareng and Mara and there doggies,
Dutchess Ine, and have noted your
author notes with some amusement,
'..and refrain from reviewing if you don't like it'
warmly, xx, eph.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2011
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Thanks so much for your kind and thoughtful review. Have a great weekend, Ine. Sorry my prince
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you're welcome. no probs. xx, eph.
Comment from peggles
This story was presented and composed so well I could see the events as if I were part of the story
I liked the way you give the children information about the dogs maturing
I liked all the extra detail which drew me into the story
and kept it active throughout and the story moving
As with the first chapter I was engaged from beginning to end
this is an interesting chapter and a good follow on from before
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2011
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This story was presented and composed so well I could see the events as if I were part of the story
I liked the way you give the children information about the dogs maturing
I liked all the extra detail which drew me into the story
and kept it active throughout and the story moving
As with the first chapter I was engaged from beginning to end
this is an interesting chapter and a good follow on from before
Comment Written 05-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2011
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Thanks so much for your kind and thoughtful review. Have a great weekend, Ine
