Reviews from

The dragon Mareng

Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Their first introduction at college."
Mareng growing up and all kinds

17 total reviews 
Comment from TammyGail
Excellent
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What a great chapter you have here
It was very well written.. You kept my interest till the ending .. Great work on the bold font ..It Makes it easier to read
Great picture to go along with chapter

 Comment Written 21-Oct-2011


reply by the author on 22-Oct-2011
    Thanks so much for your kind review,Take care and have a lovely weekend, Ine. Did Evan still like it?
Comment from rchitwood
Excellent
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And wait I will I enjoy reading about these little dragons and am glad to see College cost a lot of money for them also.Your story is creative good imagination and I would recommend this to others.Blessings Rita

 Comment Written 21-Oct-2011


reply by the author on 22-Oct-2011
    Thanks so much for your kind review,Take care and have a lovely weekend, Ine. Thanks for recommending as well
Comment from rheabug
Excellent
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I can see this as a great children's book with illustrations. Thank you for sharing the story of Mareng and his friends and family. Blessings, Linda

 Comment Written 21-Oct-2011


reply by the author on 21-Oct-2011
    Thanks so much for your kind review,Take care and have a lovely weekend, Ine. Don't know if I will ever dare and try publishing anything.
reply by rheabug on 21-Oct-2011
    YOU have tooo kids would love this along with some illustration.
Comment from Charlene0513
Good
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To robina1978,
In this story you try to show the happiness and thrills of the two dragons going to college.
I have two qualms about it though:
1) if they have no money how is the parents supposedly to buy the outfits
2) if they are going to college would they not be a bit older and not have the urge to "play" as youngsters.

(Think of another way to phase that to make sense.)

"no,usually not.--"No, not usually."
The fathers asked.--the fathers' asked.
Charlene

 Comment Written 21-Oct-2011


reply by the author on 21-Oct-2011
    Thanks so much for your kind review. Take care and have a nice day, Ine. Going by English Standards.
Comment from OrangeFilly
Average
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I thought this was rather cute. I love the idea of dragons and humans living in a community together. It reminds me of "How to Train Your Dragon." :)

However, there are a few things that I wondered about as I read.
At what children's reading level is this supposed to be?
Are you envisioning illustrations?
Could you clarify your use of "college"? I know what you mean, but maybe your audience does not.
Overall, I think this story has potential. I liked it a lot.

Cheers,
-bB-

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 Comment Written 21-Oct-2011


reply by the author on 21-Oct-2011
    An interesting narrative of experiences at school. In the second paragraph, the sentence "The list with books are the books you have to buy" doesn't sound correct. It gives the impression that the list is accompanied by books. It could be better said as: "The list of books are the books you have to buy". Further, there is no need of an apostrophe in maths. (sixth Para). "They all agreed a day and time to go..." The word 'agreed' here should be followed by 'upon'. "What extra hobbies would you like to do?" Instead of 'do' the word 'have' would be more appropriate in this context. Starting after primary school in the UK and Netherlands. Level was still good ast time for 5 year old read to by his Mum- she is my best reference point. If I would ever publish, might make my own illustrations-don't know yet. Or possibly ask Lynnkah in Fanart to help me out.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2011
    You were right about maths as well, just checked it on line, think I have to send my Scottish hubby to a refreshener English course. LOL.
Comment from ephraim crud, COS.
Excellent
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how times flies, little Mareng and Mara at college
already. as always, Dutchess Ine, a delightful
read. i wonder where all this is leading, hmmmm.
warmly, xx, eph

 Comment Written 21-Oct-2011


reply by the author on 21-Oct-2011
    Thanks so much for your kind review. Take care and have a nice day, Ine. Won't tell-LOL.
Comment from sunilmathur
Excellent
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An interesting narrative of experiences at school. In the second paragraph, the sentence "The list with books are the books you have to buy" doesn't sound correct. It gives the impression that the list is accompanied by books. It could be better said as: "The list of books are the books you have to buy". Further, there is no need of an apostrophe in maths. (sixth Para). "They all agreed a day and time to go..." The word 'agreed' here should be followed by 'upon'. "What extra hobbies would you like to do?" Instead of 'do' the word 'have' would be more appropriate in this context.

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 Comment Written 21-Oct-2011


reply by the author on 21-Oct-2011
    Thanks so much for your kind review. Take care and have a nice day, Ine. Thanks-will change asap.