Summer Fades to Fall
Tanka18 total reviews
Comment from misscookie
I love your poem and how you express the chaning of the sesason
you did it so colorfuly As i resd your poem I could feel; the cool breeze maybe more for it very cool and winded in Long Island New York.
thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2011
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I love your poem and how you express the chaning of the sesason
you did it so colorfuly As i resd your poem I could feel; the cool breeze maybe more for it very cool and winded in Long Island New York.
thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2011
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Thanks so much, Miss Cookie for such a nice and cheerful review:)
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My pleasure.
Comment from the blue pixel
I am no expert on any of the short forms but I do know that the middle line is all important with two different persepectives on either side of it and that, you have certainly achieved here. I really like
summer tiptoed out", the way you personalized the seasons and the way autumn creeps up to take away. Very enjoyable. xx Pix
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2011
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I am no expert on any of the short forms but I do know that the middle line is all important with two different persepectives on either side of it and that, you have certainly achieved here. I really like
summer tiptoed out", the way you personalized the seasons and the way autumn creeps up to take away. Very enjoyable. xx Pix
Comment Written 14-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2011
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Good morning, Pix, and thanks so much for stopping by to read and review. This is a helpful review. I like that you called my attention to that middle line, I need to add it to my notes. It's more clear as you said it. Glad you liked the "tiptoe." LOL:)
Comment from Yvette Wilson
This was fun. It is a reminder that this nice weather will soon be over. It was raining here where I was in IL all day yesterday, but it could have been worse...It could have been snow!
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2011
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This was fun. It is a reminder that this nice weather will soon be over. It was raining here where I was in IL all day yesterday, but it could have been worse...It could have been snow!
Comment Written 14-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2011
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Hey Yvette, first I love your name, always liked that name--Yvette. Yeah we had a little rain, but still nice weather. Thanks for the friendly review:)
Comment from ExperiencingLiphe
I miss jumping into piles of leaves. I think fall used to be fun-ner when I was little. Now it just reminds me that the summer is over and the snow is on it's way. Good luck in the contest contest
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2011
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I miss jumping into piles of leaves. I think fall used to be fun-ner when I was little. Now it just reminds me that the summer is over and the snow is on it's way. Good luck in the contest contest
Comment Written 14-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2011
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Yes, it was more fun then, because now I have to do something about the piled up leaves. Thanks so much read and the friendly comments.
Comment from sgalletti
Love the imagery in the first two grammatically connected lines and the pivot line is fabulous. The following two lines of insight are impressive. I really appreciated the multi-syllable kwords and the alliteration. Before the contest ends, I have a few punctuation suggestions. Cap "leaves" (the first word. Delete the exclamation point. Put a space between the second and third lines and the third and fourth lines. It adds punch.
Put a semi-colon after "me" and a period after "glass." Tanka allows for minimal punctuation. Of course, all of this is your choice...it is your poem. Try it out. This could be magnificent. Best of luck in the contest. Hugs, Sue
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2011
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Love the imagery in the first two grammatically connected lines and the pivot line is fabulous. The following two lines of insight are impressive. I really appreciated the multi-syllable kwords and the alliteration. Before the contest ends, I have a few punctuation suggestions. Cap "leaves" (the first word. Delete the exclamation point. Put a space between the second and third lines and the third and fourth lines. It adds punch.
Put a semi-colon after "me" and a period after "glass." Tanka allows for minimal punctuation. Of course, all of this is your choice...it is your poem. Try it out. This could be magnificent. Best of luck in the contest. Hugs, Sue
Comment Written 14-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2011
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Sue, you are a stunning jewel. Thanks soooo much. I changed it:)
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Hey, I like it! Just take out the space between the 4th and 5th lines and you've got a winner! Hugs, Sue
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Thanks, Sue:)
Comment from babylonia
donna,
it's another one of those crazy falls. it is in the 40s and by evening it could be in the 80s. who knows what to wear. this poem made me smile. imagery is excellent. good luck~
love,
barbara
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2011
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donna,
it's another one of those crazy falls. it is in the 40s and by evening it could be in the 80s. who knows what to wear. this poem made me smile. imagery is excellent. good luck~
love,
barbara
Comment Written 14-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2011
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I'm so glad this made you smile--worth me writing it. That weather sounds like Nebraska weather--I lived there years ago. Thanks for this nice review.
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You are welcome. No, just Oklahoma. It was this way in Texas. I've even seen snow when the day started at 70.
Comment from JJames11
Nicely written, I light the subject and how you capture the transition from summer to fall in so few words. Let us just enjoy fall before winter gets here! Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2011
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Nicely written, I light the subject and how you capture the transition from summer to fall in so few words. Let us just enjoy fall before winter gets here! Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2011
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I promise I won't push it on--it's my favorite--fall. Thank you so much for this nice review:)
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You're quite welcome. It's between spring and fall for me:)
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Smiles!
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, donna, a great job writing this tanka poem about the way summer and fall overlap each other, each trying to get a hold, good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2011
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this is very well written, donna, a great job writing this tanka poem about the way summer and fall overlap each other, each trying to get a hold, good luck in the contest
Comment Written 14-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2011
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Thank you so much, sweetwoodjax. This is a well thought review.
Comment from Loyd C. Taylor, Sr
A very wonderful Friday morning to you Donna. I enjoyed your poem and fall is righ on our heels. Have a great day and happy writing to you! Loyd
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2011
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A very wonderful Friday morning to you Donna. I enjoyed your poem and fall is righ on our heels. Have a great day and happy writing to you! Loyd
Comment Written 14-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2011
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Good morning also, Loyd. Hope you are having a great day. Thanks for reading and the welcome review:)
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It was my great pleasure, Loyd
Comment from Gungalo
A cool write and one that makes us thing winter is not far off. Seems they are getting shorter and shorter, these seasons of outs, eh?
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2011
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A cool write and one that makes us thing winter is not far off. Seems they are getting shorter and shorter, these seasons of outs, eh?
Comment Written 13-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2011
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Hey You, how are you? Thank you for reading and this review--it's cheerful:)
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Hey I'm just fine and so was this write!!
