Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 35 "Part two, Chapter 11"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
86 total reviews
Comment from Mary Jane Y
This is a very easy read. It is so true to life which is sad.
Didn't say how Michael felt about the incidents of the day. Would be nice to hear a little, was he really afraid or was he holding it out in and didn't want to talk about it.
It appears that he is alright and feels safe at where he is or he would not have gone straight to bed. Sign of a good mom.
Like this so far.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2011
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This is a very easy read. It is so true to life which is sad.
Didn't say how Michael felt about the incidents of the day. Would be nice to hear a little, was he really afraid or was he holding it out in and didn't want to talk about it.
It appears that he is alright and feels safe at where he is or he would not have gone straight to bed. Sign of a good mom.
Like this so far.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2011
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Michael is only 8 months old. I doubt he would say anything about how he felt. I appreciate your king review.
Comment from rivki1111
Hello, good dialogue that shows the story. That is one of this works strengths, I think.
I am presuming that with this many reviews you have already done a lot of your editing as this reads smoothly.
Thanks for sharing your writing, and it is a work I would recommend to other readers for review, cheers, Rebekah.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2011
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Hello, good dialogue that shows the story. That is one of this works strengths, I think.
I am presuming that with this many reviews you have already done a lot of your editing as this reads smoothly.
Thanks for sharing your writing, and it is a work I would recommend to other readers for review, cheers, Rebekah.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2011
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Thsnk you for the kind review. I made a few typos and they have been corrected.
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Thsnk you for the kind review. I made a few typos and they have been corrected.
Comment from *erin*
Lovely chapter. I love how you always manage to make your chapters interesting. They are all so well written. I feel so badly for Anna and Michael. I hope Bobby and his family start to leave them alone soon so that they can be happy. Great job!
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2011
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Lovely chapter. I love how you always manage to make your chapters interesting. They are all so well written. I feel so badly for Anna and Michael. I hope Bobby and his family start to leave them alone soon so that they can be happy. Great job!
Comment Written 12-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from JW
By the time I got to read this chapter, it had already achieved both Recognized and All Time Best status. After reading it, there was, no doubt, why. This chapter makes an excellent addition to your story. JW
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2011
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By the time I got to read this chapter, it had already achieved both Recognized and All Time Best status. After reading it, there was, no doubt, why. This chapter makes an excellent addition to your story. JW
Comment Written 12-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from rama devi
Hi Barabara,
Your work is easy to read! :)
You excel in well-paced dialog and this chapter is no exception-- but, like the previous one, I felt it lacked a balance of descriptive narrative (been though you do a great job with action tags). I know you disagree on this issue, yet I must be honest and review with integrity. If I were to say there is no room for improvement, I'd be lying--as I feel there is (Similarly to as noted in previous review). However, there are no other nits, so I will give five stars.
Warmest wishes, rd
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2011
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Hi Barabara,
Your work is easy to read! :)
You excel in well-paced dialog and this chapter is no exception-- but, like the previous one, I felt it lacked a balance of descriptive narrative (been though you do a great job with action tags). I know you disagree on this issue, yet I must be honest and review with integrity. If I were to say there is no room for improvement, I'd be lying--as I feel there is (Similarly to as noted in previous review). However, there are no other nits, so I will give five stars.
Warmest wishes, rd
Comment Written 12-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2011
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I still insist on using dialogue to move my story line. Until I am told to do it differetly I will continue. It is your right to disagree, but my fans enjoy it and give me a lot of praise for my use of dialogue and many have asked me to help them. I think it's an indivual perference and not a set rule. Thank you for your time reading.
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I still insist on using dialogue to move my story line. Until I am told to do it differetly I will continue. It is your right to disagree, but my fans enjoy it and give me a lot of praise for my use of dialogue and many have asked me to help them. I think it's an indivual perference and not a set rule. Thank you for your time reading.
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Please do not misunderstand me--having the bulk of it be dialog is NOT a problem and you do it so well. It is the lack of balance between dialog an narrative (does not have to be equal on the scales but just a bit more narrative would be ideal)...I believe this is not just a matter of taste--it is my impression that publishers would frown on the imbalance (but i could be wrong, of course).
I review as sincerely as possible and am often one of only a few who offers in-deph critique. the fact that so many fans on this site love your work is wonderful--but it does not mean publishers will love it. i see your enthusiasm for writing and offer feedback with an aim to be HELPFUl not hurtful... I am not negating your use of dialog...only suggesting that you can ENHANCE your chapters by interspersing a bit more descriptive narrative(beyond the action tags). I will continue to review with integrity and honesty. If it bothers you that I mention these things--send me a pm and let me know if you prefer not to hear from me. i find your work easy to read (because of the dialog!) but it is not a genre I prefer-- I read your work as a gesture of friendship and to reciprocate because you often review mine. I will not be offended if you prefer not to hear from me in review. Please feel free to let me know--no hard feelings.
Warmest wishes--really!
rd
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I do enjoy your reviews and value what you say. I do happen to disagree about the amount of dialogue. I will send you a PM>
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Thanks for the PM dear--that helps a lot! I never read romance novels, so appreciate the input. Love, rd
Comment from jpafford
I have not read your previous chapters so I cannot comment on your overall story; however, based on this chapter,no spags and very well written
joanne
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2011
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I have not read your previous chapters so I cannot comment on your overall story; however, based on this chapter,no spags and very well written
joanne
Comment Written 12-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from ElPoetry001
Six stars.
The terrorists, child kidnappers, are usually other family members or their friends, so it is important to have a complete packet for law enforcement, if a child is abducted.
1. Photograph of the child.
2. Birth certificate.
3. School.
4. Name of Father, grandfather, grandmother, uncles, or others that are actual suspects.
The Police will do some investigation, but the need for information is immediate. Be ready.
We have terrorists from outside our country, our state, and our city. Information is power. Have you packet available, the first 24 hours is critical.
Sad, but true, children become pawns, and suffer more than people realize.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2011
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Six stars.
The terrorists, child kidnappers, are usually other family members or their friends, so it is important to have a complete packet for law enforcement, if a child is abducted.
1. Photograph of the child.
2. Birth certificate.
3. School.
4. Name of Father, grandfather, grandmother, uncles, or others that are actual suspects.
The Police will do some investigation, but the need for information is immediate. Be ready.
We have terrorists from outside our country, our state, and our city. Information is power. Have you packet available, the first 24 hours is critical.
Sad, but true, children become pawns, and suffer more than people realize.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2011
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Thank you for the kind review and insight.
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Thank you for the kind review and insight.
Comment from dportwood
barbara,
Well done writing not encumbered by errors. Shows emotions of the characters well and explains feelings clearly. Easy reading with nice flow.
Duane
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2011
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barbara,
Well done writing not encumbered by errors. Shows emotions of the characters well and explains feelings clearly. Easy reading with nice flow.
Duane
Comment Written 12-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2011
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Thank you for your kind reivew.
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Thank you for your kind reivew.
Comment from Cynthia Tee
Hi Barbara, another good part to a chapter in Anna and little Michael's life. Just a pity that Everett did not catch up to the would-be abductor! Now I wonder if Troy will pronounce his love for Anna under the moon? Guess I'll have to wait and see! Well done here my friend. Hugs and smiles, Cynthia xx
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2011
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Hi Barbara, another good part to a chapter in Anna and little Michael's life. Just a pity that Everett did not catch up to the would-be abductor! Now I wonder if Troy will pronounce his love for Anna under the moon? Guess I'll have to wait and see! Well done here my friend. Hugs and smiles, Cynthia xx
Comment Written 12-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2011
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Anna isn't ready for another relationship. She has some healing to do. Her abuse was severe. Thank you for the kind review.
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Anna isn't ready for another relationship. She has some healing to do. Her abuse was severe. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from BigTomNY
100% deserving of the awards for recognition and all time seal and listing!! Your writing flows with grace and poise and should be published!!
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2011
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100% deserving of the awards for recognition and all time seal and listing!! Your writing flows with grace and poise and should be published!!
Comment Written 11-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
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Thank you for the kind review.
