Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 34 "Part one, Chapter 11"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
76 total reviews
Comment from rosine (roneth)
This flows well.
I do give you high marks for showing more than you tell.
"Anna gulped. "What kind of incident?" She released a slow breath. "
You did not have to describe her feelings to us. I got the picture.
The last line...i do not quite understand. Is she waiting for Paul? I would be out that door crying, going to the hospital...
Great writing!
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2011
  |
This flows well.
I do give you high marks for showing more than you tell.
"Anna gulped. "What kind of incident?" She released a slow breath. "
You did not have to describe her feelings to us. I got the picture.
The last line...i do not quite understand. Is she waiting for Paul? I would be out that door crying, going to the hospital...
Great writing!
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review. Ginger kept her there.
-
You are welcome!
Comment from ulster3
Hello, barbara.
This exceptional chapter speaks to the horror of just how far reaching this kind of abuse is. Just when one thinks they can't handle any more drama something like this happens. If you haven't read and listened to The Spirit of Oklahoma I know you'll enjoy it. Great lyrics, great voice!
Hugs, Rebecca
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2011
|
Hello, barbara.
This exceptional chapter speaks to the horror of just how far reaching this kind of abuse is. Just when one thinks they can't handle any more drama something like this happens. If you haven't read and listened to The Spirit of Oklahoma I know you'll enjoy it. Great lyrics, great voice!
Hugs, Rebecca
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from missy98writer
Barbara,
chapter thirty-four of Lonely Heart Meet is splendidly written with excellent descriptive writing and great dialogue. I really enjoyed this chapter. I feel her ex or his nasty mother tried to kidnap Anna's son. I was blown away by what the officer said to her: >"It appears your son was the target of an attempted kidnapping. Do you know anybody who would do this?"< What a turn of events. This is some top notch writing here, my friend. I'd recommend you chapter to other reviewers. I hope you are feeling fine. I always think of you and your strong spirit when I'm feeling bad. Please have a blessed day. I love ya.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2011
|
Barbara,
chapter thirty-four of Lonely Heart Meet is splendidly written with excellent descriptive writing and great dialogue. I really enjoyed this chapter. I feel her ex or his nasty mother tried to kidnap Anna's son. I was blown away by what the officer said to her: >"It appears your son was the target of an attempted kidnapping. Do you know anybody who would do this?"< What a turn of events. This is some top notch writing here, my friend. I'd recommend you chapter to other reviewers. I hope you are feeling fine. I always think of you and your strong spirit when I'm feeling bad. Please have a blessed day. I love ya.
Melissa.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Dave M
Barbara,
Just as Anna thoughts things were going to settle down... I've been waiting for some action, but then, I prefer action to romance.
I enjoyed this exceptional chapter and have a couple of suggestions:
"She smiled, watched her son turn his head, and search around the room." The second comma should come out. That way, it will be clear that little Michael is searching around the room, not Anna. Actually, I think this sentence would be better as, "She smiled and watched as her son turned his head and searched around the room."
"Ginger removed it, found Paul's name, and pressed call." I think the word "call" should be in italics here. You are naming a button on the cell phone.
Dave
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2011
 |
Barbara,
Just as Anna thoughts things were going to settle down... I've been waiting for some action, but then, I prefer action to romance.
I enjoyed this exceptional chapter and have a couple of suggestions:
"She smiled, watched her son turn his head, and search around the room." The second comma should come out. That way, it will be clear that little Michael is searching around the room, not Anna. Actually, I think this sentence would be better as, "She smiled and watched as her son turned his head and searched around the room."
"Ginger removed it, found Paul's name, and pressed call." I think the word "call" should be in italics here. You are naming a button on the cell phone.
Dave
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review. I have made the changes. I appreciate your help.
Comment from Rama Rao
Excellent as usual. The story is moving briskly, and the book is likely to be a page turner. You are creating a conflict in every page. That adds value to the book.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2011
|
Excellent as usual. The story is moving briskly, and the book is likely to be a page turner. You are creating a conflict in every page. That adds value to the book.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from rudion
I'm really starting to get quite hooked on this story and find myself looking forward to coming chapters. Anna is a credible, likeable character who has so much to deal with. I really like that she's becoming stronger. Great read.
rudion
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
|
I'm really starting to get quite hooked on this story and find myself looking forward to coming chapters. Anna is a credible, likeable character who has so much to deal with. I really like that she's becoming stronger. Great read.
rudion
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
-
Thank you for the kind review
Comment from RebelRose
This is a very exciting chapter. I knew Mrs. Rodgers wasn't taking it well but I didn't think she'd act that quickly. She is quite a piece of work.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
|
This is a very exciting chapter. I knew Mrs. Rodgers wasn't taking it well but I didn't think she'd act that quickly. She is quite a piece of work.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from mumsyone
Another good chapter, Barbara. I hope school and everything else is going well for you.
"I better not be late for work. I've already missed two days this week because of the trial.(")
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
|
Another good chapter, Barbara. I hope school and everything else is going well for you.
"I better not be late for work. I've already missed two days this week because of the trial.(")
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
-
I am wondering what's going on with my " It seems I have forgotten a lot of them this time and I swear they were once there.
Comment from rheabug
Such a turn of events for poor Anna.. Scared out of her mind just when she was thinking everything is okay. You are doing an amazing job with this story line. Blessings, Linda
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
|
Such a turn of events for poor Anna.. Scared out of her mind just when she was thinking everything is okay. You are doing an amazing job with this story line. Blessings, Linda
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, barbara, a great job writing this chapter for your book, i knew the mother in law would rear her ugly head somewhere again. i forgot about the kidnapping aspect of it.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
|
this is very well written, barbara, a great job writing this chapter for your book, i knew the mother in law would rear her ugly head somewhere again. i forgot about the kidnapping aspect of it.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
-
Thank you for the kind review.
