Steve's Poems for Kids
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Almost..."A collection of my children's poems
87 total reviews
Comment from moyramouse
I'm glad I found this one in your portfolio! Sounds just like my younger son - just swap tractor and trailor full of kids for the car. Congrats on the competition win - well deserved- it's a great poem and I loved the 'choppeded'! xxmouse
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2011
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I'm glad I found this one in your portfolio! Sounds just like my younger son - just swap tractor and trailor full of kids for the car. Congrats on the competition win - well deserved- it's a great poem and I loved the 'choppeded'! xxmouse
Comment Written 25-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2011
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There was a four-way tie for the top prize - first time I've seen that.
I had fun with this. Seems my most popular pieces are when I write from a child's point of view. My wife says that's perfectly understandable? If you have a moment, dig a little deeper and check out the teddy bear poem.
How's Guscott going BTW?
Thanks again for reviewing.
Steve
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There was a four-way tie for the top prize - first time I've seen that.
I had fun with this. Seems my most popular pieces are when I write from a child's point of view. My wife says that's perfectly understandable? If you have a moment, dig a little deeper and check out the teddy bear poem.
How's Guscott going BTW?
Thanks again for reviewing.
Steve
-
There was a four-way tie for the top prize - first time I've seen that.
I had fun with this. Seems my most popular pieces are when I write from a child's point of view. My wife says that's perfectly understandable? If you have a moment, dig a little deeper and check out the teddy bear poem.
How's Guscott going BTW?
Thanks again for reviewing.
Steve
Comment from manicblue
Funny poem, Steve, and you won this contest! Congratulations. :) I loved your approach to the topic (with a nice, mostly seven iambic "feet" per line), and aabb rhyme.
I thought these entries would be a lament of things people regretted not having done. But you took it and made it into a delightful foray into mis-adventure! :) (is the cat ok?) hehe
Well done, Take care!
mb xx
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2011
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Funny poem, Steve, and you won this contest! Congratulations. :) I loved your approach to the topic (with a nice, mostly seven iambic "feet" per line), and aabb rhyme.
I thought these entries would be a lament of things people regretted not having done. But you took it and made it into a delightful foray into mis-adventure! :) (is the cat ok?) hehe
Well done, Take care!
mb xx
Comment Written 03-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2011
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Thank you - yeah, I twisted the intention of the prompt a little so I could make it funny - actually the first prize was shared four ways...
Steve
Comment from ruzu27
Your poem is very witty and humorous, no wonder you won the competition, congratulations!
Those of us having children can relate so well...
It has a good rhyme and I especially like the following lines:
The doctor at the clinic said: "we'll fiks your miffing toof" and
Tell me why is Mommy googling "How to get your child adopted"
An excellent work!
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2011
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Your poem is very witty and humorous, no wonder you won the competition, congratulations!
Those of us having children can relate so well...
It has a good rhyme and I especially like the following lines:
The doctor at the clinic said: "we'll fiks your miffing toof" and
Tell me why is Mommy googling "How to get your child adopted"
An excellent work!
Comment Written 03-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2011
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Thank you - glad you enjoyed this little bit of fun.
Steve
Comment from fireflylil
I can see why you won this contest! What a funny, totally awesome poem of "The Life He Almost Lived", It reminds me of a nephew of mine. Phew!! Very cleverly done, great cadence, rhyme and flow! Worthy of a six!
Nice to meet you, by the way... Lil
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2011
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I can see why you won this contest! What a funny, totally awesome poem of "The Life He Almost Lived", It reminds me of a nephew of mine. Phew!! Very cleverly done, great cadence, rhyme and flow! Worthy of a six!
Nice to meet you, by the way... Lil
Comment Written 03-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2011
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Thanks, Lil, for the review and the kind words - not quite sure why we haven't come across each other before...
There's plenty of other funny stuff in my portfolio if you ever have the time to trawl through.
Steve
Comment from Shirley B
This poem is precious. I can see why you won. The rhyming lines are perfect. Your imagery was great. I felt like I was there to see everything while it was happening. Thank you for sharing, Shirley
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2011
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This poem is precious. I can see why you won. The rhyming lines are perfect. Your imagery was great. I felt like I was there to see everything while it was happening. Thank you for sharing, Shirley
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2011
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Thanks, Shirley. Glad you enjoyed my little piece of fun.
Steve
Comment from Bellydanser
I could have sworn I'd already read and reviewed this. Ah well, here's a hardy laugh in response to your 'childish' poem. I love the 'voice' you created. The last line ran long, but perhaps that was intentional?
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2011
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I could have sworn I'd already read and reviewed this. Ah well, here's a hardy laugh in response to your 'childish' poem. I love the 'voice' you created. The last line ran long, but perhaps that was intentional?
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2011
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Yeah, I've had that 'haven't I just done that' feeling a couple of times. I know you have reviewed something of mine in the last couple of days, but I have had three pieces on the go and each got more than 50 reviews so I can't be sure...
There's a bit of a trick to that last line - if you read the first three words 'Tell me why' without a pause and with the main stress on 'Why' it sounds OK....
Comment from ~Dovey
This was hilarious. I loved the creative license you used to keep the rhyme and meter of this piece intact. It is most excellent work and I can clearly see why it was a contest winner! :)
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2011
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This was hilarious. I loved the creative license you used to keep the rhyme and meter of this piece intact. It is most excellent work and I can clearly see why it was a contest winner! :)
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2011
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Thank you - glad you enjoyed the adventures of this naughty little child.
The contest was actually shared four ways...
Steve
Comment from DIS-illusioned
--Congratulations on your win.
--Funny picture art.
--Good aabb rhyme scheme in the quatrains.
--POV of an adventurous (mischievous?) youngster, it seems--interesting.
--"I almost caught my Mom and Dad playing games in bed;
I really mustn't tell you all the horrid words they said."
Good child--lol!
--"Tell me why is Mommy googling 'How to get your child adopted?'"
Ha!
Very witty and humorous, Steve. Well done.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2011
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--Congratulations on your win.
--Funny picture art.
--Good aabb rhyme scheme in the quatrains.
--POV of an adventurous (mischievous?) youngster, it seems--interesting.
--"I almost caught my Mom and Dad playing games in bed;
I really mustn't tell you all the horrid words they said."
Good child--lol!
--"Tell me why is Mommy googling 'How to get your child adopted?'"
Ha!
Very witty and humorous, Steve. Well done.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2011
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Thank you.
Like most of my poems, this took off in a direction of its own once I got the first few lines on paper!
Steve
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Ha! You're welcome.
Comment from Veekz
LOL! Very funny take on the competition, loved the imagination shown. I can picture the little scamp in your piece oh so well - but I can picture the frustrated parents even more! :)
Can more then see why this one was a winner, well done, my friend.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2011
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LOL! Very funny take on the competition, loved the imagination shown. I can picture the little scamp in your piece oh so well - but I can picture the frustrated parents even more! :)
Can more then see why this one was a winner, well done, my friend.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2011
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Thank you - glad you enjoyed. The prize was actually shared four ways in this contest.
Steve
Comment from robyn corum
Adorable, and brings back such wonderful/miserable memories! -ahhh- I love your delicious wit. I can see why your poem got high honors. Great job!
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2011
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Adorable, and brings back such wonderful/miserable memories! -ahhh- I love your delicious wit. I can see why your poem got high honors. Great job!
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2011
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Thank you - glad you enjoyed. The prize was actually shared four ways in this contest.
Steve
