Tall Tales
Quatrain (long)?8 total reviews
Comment from misscookie
I for one makesmany mistakes
But I donty see where you made any.
I enjoyed reading your work it put a smile on my face. the elders in my family could truly tell some stopries the now generrations are not in to it what a shame.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2011
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I for one makesmany mistakes
But I donty see where you made any.
I enjoyed reading your work it put a smile on my face. the elders in my family could truly tell some stopries the now generrations are not in to it what a shame.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2011
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Thank you for your kind review. I am glad you enjoyed my memories.
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Your very welcome.
Comment from Espresso momma
It sounds like there were several children to hear these scary stories from daddy. He must have known he was instilling fear in you to continue this. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2011
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It sounds like there were several children to hear these scary stories from daddy. He must have known he was instilling fear in you to continue this. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2011
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Thank you for your kind review. The "fear" was only used to rhyme...couldn't think of anything else. :o) We loved for my daddy to tell us his stories. We all knew they were just tall tales.
Comment from Beejay
What a lovely crafted piece of work. Such memories to cherish.Your words and memories really affected me.Thank you so much for allowing me to read it.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2011
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What a lovely crafted piece of work. Such memories to cherish.Your words and memories really affected me.Thank you so much for allowing me to read it.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2011
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Thank you for your kind review. I am glad you enjoyed my memories.
Comment from Van
Great feeling to the piece. A tribute to you 'daddy' it certainly is.
Content: excellent
Flow: good
Mechanics: good.
Suggestion: whenever you are expressing your poetic voice and you want to fit your words into a structure (which can have a very powerfully profound affect) try to use the language that makes each line say what you want it to say yet is metered with specific syllable counts and rhytm design. It makes for a ringing read and more of a memorable experience for the reader. Otherwise, the free verse is perfectly fine for simply letting go.
Very nice submission.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2011
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Great feeling to the piece. A tribute to you 'daddy' it certainly is.
Content: excellent
Flow: good
Mechanics: good.
Suggestion: whenever you are expressing your poetic voice and you want to fit your words into a structure (which can have a very powerfully profound affect) try to use the language that makes each line say what you want it to say yet is metered with specific syllable counts and rhytm design. It makes for a ringing read and more of a memorable experience for the reader. Otherwise, the free verse is perfectly fine for simply letting go.
Very nice submission.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2011
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Thank you for your kind review. I am learning. Thank you for your advice.
Comment from Linda England Bonam
I think you did a good job with this! It really told a cute story and produced images of it all. It was also a nice tribute to someone who made sure you had good memories to fall back on. I really enjoyed this!
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2011
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I think you did a good job with this! It really told a cute story and produced images of it all. It was also a nice tribute to someone who made sure you had good memories to fall back on. I really enjoyed this!
Comment Written 27-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2011
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Thank you for your kind review. I am glad you enjoyed this.
Comment from honeydo51
Hi justjo66!
I really don't see anything wrong with this at all. It was a delightful poem, with great rhyme scheme and well written. Sounds like some really good memories being relived. Great job on this!
honeydo51
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2011
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Hi justjo66!
I really don't see anything wrong with this at all. It was a delightful poem, with great rhyme scheme and well written. Sounds like some really good memories being relived. Great job on this!
honeydo51
Comment Written 27-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2011
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Thank you for your kind review. I am glad you liked it.
Comment from cercie
In summer to the river we would go
What fun don't you know
Our blankets all spread out
We loved every moment without doubt
Lovely a nice read
could I make a couple suggestion
leave the WE out of the last verse it will flow better
Banshee's would howl
Panthers prowl
The bears would get into the act
My daddy had the knack
also leave THE out
just my opnion
Thank you for sharing I enjoyed this
cercie
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2011
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In summer to the river we would go
What fun don't you know
Our blankets all spread out
We loved every moment without doubt
Lovely a nice read
could I make a couple suggestion
leave the WE out of the last verse it will flow better
Banshee's would howl
Panthers prowl
The bears would get into the act
My daddy had the knack
also leave THE out
just my opnion
Thank you for sharing I enjoyed this
cercie
Comment Written 27-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2011
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Thank you for your kind review and advice. I will consider the changes.
Comment from BigTomNY
Nicely done my friend!
Topic: awesome
Flow: good
Style: nicely done
structure: very good
Rhyme: smoth
Art: Nice
Overall: excellent!
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2011
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Nicely done my friend!
Topic: awesome
Flow: good
Style: nicely done
structure: very good
Rhyme: smoth
Art: Nice
Overall: excellent!
Comment Written 27-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2011
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Thank you Tom. Glad you liked my tale.
