The Clairvoyant
Fiction Horror/Thriller Script5 total reviews
Comment from cupa tea
I WAS LOST MOST OF THE TIME. I DID'NT SEE ANYTHING THAT REALLY TALKED ABOUT BEING A REAL GHOST HUNTER.
do not have a beginner person at a seance.
There were too many sentences starting with the word and.
Too much information about the characters in the story and not enough about the prompt. Where were the GhostHunters?
no sexual content was suspose to be placed in the story.
You might consider rewriting.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2011
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I WAS LOST MOST OF THE TIME. I DID'NT SEE ANYTHING THAT REALLY TALKED ABOUT BEING A REAL GHOST HUNTER.
do not have a beginner person at a seance.
There were too many sentences starting with the word and.
Too much information about the characters in the story and not enough about the prompt. Where were the GhostHunters?
no sexual content was suspose to be placed in the story.
You might consider rewriting.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2011
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The contest was 'Be a GhostHunter/TV series'. So I started a movie script that could lead to a tv series. The seance conjured ghosts. And the pharmacist became a clairvoyant. The online group of friends with Isabella became the hunters through a seance. There's nothing sexual in there. Todd stayed over and slept in the family room. Totally a non-sexual situation.
Thank you.
Comment from sallyray
This is a good script but it had a lot of typos. I like the way you ended it. I wasn't expecting that. Also Isabella becoming physic was good and unexpected also. Your writing is very good, just need to check on the typos. I enjoyed reading it. It was very different.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2011
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This is a good script but it had a lot of typos. I like the way you ended it. I wasn't expecting that. Also Isabella becoming physic was good and unexpected also. Your writing is very good, just need to check on the typos. I enjoyed reading it. It was very different.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2011
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I should proof my work. You're nice. Thank you.
Comment from BigSzabs
Interesting idea, but the delivery needs work. I feel like you should go into the psyche of Mrs. Nolan a bit and really just make it flow more properly. Needs some work, but i enjoyed it.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2011
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Interesting idea, but the delivery needs work. I feel like you should go into the psyche of Mrs. Nolan a bit and really just make it flow more properly. Needs some work, but i enjoyed it.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2011
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I was convinced Mrs Nolan was an actress for a restaurant breakfast. What a hussy she'd be?!!
Thank oyu.
Comment from Hareem.S
Hey this is a very rivetting read. Keeps the reader well interested, maybe because the dialogues are very well executed. A nice lucid read!
P.S I'd be honored if you have a look at my poem "What is Love"
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2011
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Hey this is a very rivetting read. Keeps the reader well interested, maybe because the dialogues are very well executed. A nice lucid read!
P.S I'd be honored if you have a look at my poem "What is Love"
Comment Written 27-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2011
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Thank you.
And yes, I'd love to read more of your work.
Comment from BPL76
I have never read a script
before and this one caught
my attention with the first read through
I not sure how to give advice
for change only to say
good plot
Thank you for the read
BPL
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2011
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I have never read a script
before and this one caught
my attention with the first read through
I not sure how to give advice
for change only to say
good plot
Thank you for the read
BPL
Comment Written 27-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2011
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You're nice. I don't know much about script writing outside of advertising commercials and storyboards myself. But I'm happy you read my work. Thank you.
