Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 32 "Part two, Chapter 10"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
88 total reviews
Comment from teacherdub
Still as compelling as the previous chapters. Bobby is shown to be an abuser with a penchant for cruelty. Anna's lawyer seems to understand the lengths to which Bobby might go to harm Anna and her son. Good descriptives, powerful dialogue to pinpoint Bobby's evil nature. Great chapter. td
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2011
  |
Still as compelling as the previous chapters. Bobby is shown to be an abuser with a penchant for cruelty. Anna's lawyer seems to understand the lengths to which Bobby might go to harm Anna and her son. Good descriptives, powerful dialogue to pinpoint Bobby's evil nature. Great chapter. td
Comment Written 18-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2011
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Janie King
If the judge can't see this man has a serious problem then the judge has a problem..This is well-written and makes one feel very concerned for all the women that deal with this problem everyday. God bless.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2011
|
If the judge can't see this man has a serious problem then the judge has a problem..This is well-written and makes one feel very concerned for all the women that deal with this problem everyday. God bless.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2011
-
We need to be in serious prayer for these women. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from kiwisteveh
As usual this is clear and well-constructed. I liked the way you chose to explain the technical language of 'Minute Entry Ruling'.
Wouldn't Paul have wanted to get Bobby to explain what he meant by 'disciplining' his wife - that would be an interesting distinction. I see you've made him fairly blatant about his actions - I guess that goes with his overbearing character - I suspect most abusers would be more devious i.e. lie more to cast more doubt on the woman's testimony.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2011
|
As usual this is clear and well-constructed. I liked the way you chose to explain the technical language of 'Minute Entry Ruling'.
Wouldn't Paul have wanted to get Bobby to explain what he meant by 'disciplining' his wife - that would be an interesting distinction. I see you've made him fairly blatant about his actions - I guess that goes with his overbearing character - I suspect most abusers would be more devious i.e. lie more to cast more doubt on the woman's testimony.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2011
-
I figured the abuse stood for itself, it the reason I didn't go into any more detail. I didn't want to hit my readers over the head with it. I will rethink it. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Carolyn Hilliard
This chapter was not only good, but educational. By that way the system has played havoc on your author's notes. I know there are certain words FS does not accept, Ex. Fiancee. But this is beyond .... You take a look.
Blessings and peace,
C
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2011
|
This chapter was not only good, but educational. By that way the system has played havoc on your author's notes. I know there are certain words FS does not accept, Ex. Fiancee. But this is beyond .... You take a look.
Blessings and peace,
C
Comment Written 18-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2011
-
Nobody has complained about my author's notes. I checked them at the beginning. I guess EE just woke up from his nap. I will correct them. Thank you.
Comment from AprilShower
Barbara, I don't think this is too long. It held my interest. Anna's husband is unbelievable. As bad as he sounds, it would seems Anna would have notice some of these traits before she agreed to marry him. I don't see how he could not have show them, for he certainly is not hiding them at the trial so he can get custody of their child. Where would he get all these ideas? His mother certainly wouldn't let her husband bully her. Did the ideas come from grandparents? Good story.
April
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2011
|
Barbara, I don't think this is too long. It held my interest. Anna's husband is unbelievable. As bad as he sounds, it would seems Anna would have notice some of these traits before she agreed to marry him. I don't see how he could not have show them, for he certainly is not hiding them at the trial so he can get custody of their child. Where would he get all these ideas? His mother certainly wouldn't let her husband bully her. Did the ideas come from grandparents? Good story.
April
Comment Written 18-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2011
-
Anna and Bobby only dated a few months before she got pregnant. He hid it until he could claim her as his. Thank you for your kind review.
-
You're welcome, Barbara. This is just one of my thoughts, which would probably help women find out more about men. if they refused to have sex with them before marriage they would most likely find out what kind of man they are dealing with. An abusive man is a selfish man, and if he doesn't get his way, he would either drop her or become nasty. The second reaction would let her know his character, and the first, she would be better off if she never saw him again.
Comment from Roberta Joan Jensen
Can you believe that Bobby! I didn't think anyone was stupid enough to say those kinds of things in court, unless he's drunk.
BTW, now that Bobby admitted in Court on the stand, under oath, that he hanged the neighbor's cat, that neighbor has charges he can press. It's unlawful to hang someone else's cat! Anna, Paul, or the neighbor can get a copy of that portion of the transcript from the Court's court reporter and use it as evidence. it would be animal cruelty, which might be a felony.
"Good morning, Paul." She listened[] before she continued,
Anna put the phone in her purse[] before she lifted Michael. --- If you started the sentence with "Before she lifted Michael," it would use a comma, but not when you end the sentence with it. You do a lot of this she did this "before" doing that. Why don't you just say she did this and then did that?
Inside the courtroom, Anna stood beside Paul as the hefty gray-haired Judge Kirk entered. --- Two options: Remove "the," or put commas around "Kirk." You don't say "the Judge Kirk."
"Bailiff, remove that person from the courtroom and forbid her entrance for the duration of this trial." Judge Kirk nodded toward Paul. "You may begin with your opening statement." --- Yeah!
"Supposed to have an ear infection, but doctors are wrong, because they want more money." --- Don't think "but doctors are wrong: is parenthetical. Therefore, no comma before "because."
"I have photos taken at the house. Mr. Young was with me. He can verify their chain-of-custody." --- "chain-of-custody" is criminal terminology, not divorce. Paul would have said, "I have photos taken at the house. I move for their admission." The judge would ask Mr. Young if he has any objections. Young would have looked at them and then said, "No objections." However, Paul would have presented these pictures during Anna's testimony so that she could testify when they were taken, by whom, what they show, andwhen it happened. The police would have had similar pictures that they testified about during their examination.
"Mr. Young, would you care to rebut?" --- Mr. Young doesn't rebut. "Anything on re-ddirect, Mr. Young?" After Young rests his case, then Paul can rebut if anything came up during Bobby's testimony that wasn't already covered in his case-in-chief.
Before Paul starts talking, after Young rests, the judge would ask if they wanted to give closing arguments or submit it on the evidence. Then Paul would give his closing arguments, then Eric.
Back at the table[,] Paul[] turned toward Anna.
Paul spoke in a low voice. "I would like to petition the court against the Minute Entry Ruling in favor of a judge ruling. I feel because of the special circumstances surrounding this case it would be beneficial to both parties." --- This is very confusing. "I would like to ask the Court to make your ruling in Court and not just send us the Minute Entry." Thisisn't necessary, though, as you'll see from my comments below.
As Paul drove home, he said, "Mrs. Rodgers is why I felt a Minute Entry Ruling would be a mistake."
Anna glanced toward him. "I don't understand. What do you mean?"
"The judge would send his decision in a Minute Entry to one of the lawyers, usually the petitioner, which would be me. I would write up the decree and the supporting documents, send them to Eric for his approval, then to the judge. Once the judge signs and files it, he sends conf[o]rmed copies to each lawyer. --- Minute Entries are "always" sent to "both" lawyers. Nothing is done in court that does not get copied to everybody. In the Ruling, he would order one of the lawyers to prepare the Decree, usually the Petitioner's. The Decree must reflect exactly what the Order says (I have had a judge reject a decree because it didn't say exactly what the Order said). that's one reason why Paul sends the paperwork to Eric to sign. At the bottom of the Decree is a line for the date and the judge's signature. Below that appears "APPROVED AS TO FORM AND CONTENT"
Below that is a line for Eric's signature at the left margin, and paul's starting in the middle of the line.
Below that, at the left margin "Attorney for Respondent" and starting in the middle under Paul's signature "Attorney for Petitioner"
If Eric objects to the way Paul has written anything, he calls Paul and asks him to change ... and follows it up with a letter to prove toBobby what he did.
Paul makes the changes or refuses. If he refuses, he "lodges" it with the judge. That means that he files a Notice of Lodging which gives the date, sends a copy of the Notice and another complete copy of the decree to Eric (he doesn't rely on the original which he already presented to Eric for his signature). A copy of the Notice and the original Decree goes to the judge.
If he delivered the Notice and decree to Eric, Eric has a week to file an objection. If he mailed it, Eric has two weeks.
If Eric doesn't file an objection, the judge signs the Decree.
If Eric does file an objection, the judge either denies it in a Minute Entry, or Orders Paul to make the changes, or sets a hearing for them to argue it out if it's important enough.
Once all that's done, the judge finally signs the decree. Sometimes these squabbles take months. I've seen it last up to six months.
Everything becomes official[final] then. You are not divorced until the Decree is actually filed.["] --- I usually tell my clients, "So don't get remarried until you receive a copy of the filed Decree."
Even if the judge gives his Ruling orally in Court, it's still sent out to both attorneys in a Minute Entry Ruling. Everything doen in Court is documented and Paul needs the written Order to write up the Decree.
I've been thinking about Mrs. Rodgers. Under most circumstances, Anna should get a restraining order against her. However, she would have to put her address and that of the day care center in it so Rodgers would be ordered to stay away from thos addresses. Since Anna can't disclose that information, I'm not sure what should be done about her. The police aren't going to arrest her just for yelling at Anna. She'd have to actually touch Anna, hit her, or something.
Good job.
Roberta
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2011
|
Can you believe that Bobby! I didn't think anyone was stupid enough to say those kinds of things in court, unless he's drunk.
BTW, now that Bobby admitted in Court on the stand, under oath, that he hanged the neighbor's cat, that neighbor has charges he can press. It's unlawful to hang someone else's cat! Anna, Paul, or the neighbor can get a copy of that portion of the transcript from the Court's court reporter and use it as evidence. it would be animal cruelty, which might be a felony.
"Good morning, Paul." She listened[] before she continued,
Anna put the phone in her purse[] before she lifted Michael. --- If you started the sentence with "Before she lifted Michael," it would use a comma, but not when you end the sentence with it. You do a lot of this she did this "before" doing that. Why don't you just say she did this and then did that?
Inside the courtroom, Anna stood beside Paul as the hefty gray-haired Judge Kirk entered. --- Two options: Remove "the," or put commas around "Kirk." You don't say "the Judge Kirk."
"Bailiff, remove that person from the courtroom and forbid her entrance for the duration of this trial." Judge Kirk nodded toward Paul. "You may begin with your opening statement." --- Yeah!
"Supposed to have an ear infection, but doctors are wrong, because they want more money." --- Don't think "but doctors are wrong: is parenthetical. Therefore, no comma before "because."
"I have photos taken at the house. Mr. Young was with me. He can verify their chain-of-custody." --- "chain-of-custody" is criminal terminology, not divorce. Paul would have said, "I have photos taken at the house. I move for their admission." The judge would ask Mr. Young if he has any objections. Young would have looked at them and then said, "No objections." However, Paul would have presented these pictures during Anna's testimony so that she could testify when they were taken, by whom, what they show, andwhen it happened. The police would have had similar pictures that they testified about during their examination.
"Mr. Young, would you care to rebut?" --- Mr. Young doesn't rebut. "Anything on re-ddirect, Mr. Young?" After Young rests his case, then Paul can rebut if anything came up during Bobby's testimony that wasn't already covered in his case-in-chief.
Before Paul starts talking, after Young rests, the judge would ask if they wanted to give closing arguments or submit it on the evidence. Then Paul would give his closing arguments, then Eric.
Back at the table[,] Paul[] turned toward Anna.
Paul spoke in a low voice. "I would like to petition the court against the Minute Entry Ruling in favor of a judge ruling. I feel because of the special circumstances surrounding this case it would be beneficial to both parties." --- This is very confusing. "I would like to ask the Court to make your ruling in Court and not just send us the Minute Entry." Thisisn't necessary, though, as you'll see from my comments below.
As Paul drove home, he said, "Mrs. Rodgers is why I felt a Minute Entry Ruling would be a mistake."
Anna glanced toward him. "I don't understand. What do you mean?"
"The judge would send his decision in a Minute Entry to one of the lawyers, usually the petitioner, which would be me. I would write up the decree and the supporting documents, send them to Eric for his approval, then to the judge. Once the judge signs and files it, he sends conf[o]rmed copies to each lawyer. --- Minute Entries are "always" sent to "both" lawyers. Nothing is done in court that does not get copied to everybody. In the Ruling, he would order one of the lawyers to prepare the Decree, usually the Petitioner's. The Decree must reflect exactly what the Order says (I have had a judge reject a decree because it didn't say exactly what the Order said). that's one reason why Paul sends the paperwork to Eric to sign. At the bottom of the Decree is a line for the date and the judge's signature. Below that appears "APPROVED AS TO FORM AND CONTENT"
Below that is a line for Eric's signature at the left margin, and paul's starting in the middle of the line.
Below that, at the left margin "Attorney for Respondent" and starting in the middle under Paul's signature "Attorney for Petitioner"
If Eric objects to the way Paul has written anything, he calls Paul and asks him to change ... and follows it up with a letter to prove toBobby what he did.
Paul makes the changes or refuses. If he refuses, he "lodges" it with the judge. That means that he files a Notice of Lodging which gives the date, sends a copy of the Notice and another complete copy of the decree to Eric (he doesn't rely on the original which he already presented to Eric for his signature). A copy of the Notice and the original Decree goes to the judge.
If he delivered the Notice and decree to Eric, Eric has a week to file an objection. If he mailed it, Eric has two weeks.
If Eric doesn't file an objection, the judge signs the Decree.
If Eric does file an objection, the judge either denies it in a Minute Entry, or Orders Paul to make the changes, or sets a hearing for them to argue it out if it's important enough.
Once all that's done, the judge finally signs the decree. Sometimes these squabbles take months. I've seen it last up to six months.
Everything becomes official[final] then. You are not divorced until the Decree is actually filed.["] --- I usually tell my clients, "So don't get remarried until you receive a copy of the filed Decree."
Even if the judge gives his Ruling orally in Court, it's still sent out to both attorneys in a Minute Entry Ruling. Everything doen in Court is documented and Paul needs the written Order to write up the Decree.
I've been thinking about Mrs. Rodgers. Under most circumstances, Anna should get a restraining order against her. However, she would have to put her address and that of the day care center in it so Rodgers would be ordered to stay away from thos addresses. Since Anna can't disclose that information, I'm not sure what should be done about her. The police aren't going to arrest her just for yelling at Anna. She'd have to actually touch Anna, hit her, or something.
Good job.
Roberta
Comment Written 18-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2011
-
I have made the obivious changes and will work on the others as I have more time. Thank you very much.
-
You're welcome.
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Barbara ...
In no way did I find this to be a long chapter but it certainly was interesting and revealing through Bobby's own words that will surely convict him.
I have given you 5 stars, hoping that you will consider the few changes recommended ...
* You have - glanced toward her ... we say 'towards her' -
which do you think sounds better?
* You have - clean the house, take care of her husband.
I suggest - clean the house and take care ...
* You have - I'll have my decision Wednesday ... and ...
he would have it Wednesday .... In both cases, I suggest
on Wednesday ....
Now, I look forward to the next chapter of this story.
Love from ... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2011
|
Hullo Barbara ...
In no way did I find this to be a long chapter but it certainly was interesting and revealing through Bobby's own words that will surely convict him.
I have given you 5 stars, hoping that you will consider the few changes recommended ...
* You have - glanced toward her ... we say 'towards her' -
which do you think sounds better?
* You have - clean the house, take care of her husband.
I suggest - clean the house and take care ...
* You have - I'll have my decision Wednesday ... and ...
he would have it Wednesday .... In both cases, I suggest
on Wednesday ....
Now, I look forward to the next chapter of this story.
Love from ... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2011
-
we say 'towards her' - (in the US it's toward) I will take a look at the others. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from JW
This is another good chapter and it shows you have done good research. The only thing I questioned was how quickly the judge had Mrs.Rodgers removed from the courtroom. It would seem like he would had gave her one warning first.
Good job,overall. JW
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2011
|
This is another good chapter and it shows you have done good research. The only thing I questioned was how quickly the judge had Mrs.Rodgers removed from the courtroom. It would seem like he would had gave her one warning first.
Good job,overall. JW
Comment Written 18-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2011
-
Good point, I had him pictured as a no-nonsense crusty judge. Maybe I should have made that clearer. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from ameyrowitz
You seem to have set things up quite favorably for Anna, but the intriguing thing is that courts are always capable of surprises. The plot moves along well, and the dialogue is crisp and natural for the characters and the setting. I'll look forward to more.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2011
|
You seem to have set things up quite favorably for Anna, but the intriguing thing is that courts are always capable of surprises. The plot moves along well, and the dialogue is crisp and natural for the characters and the setting. I'll look forward to more.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2011
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Barbara,
I think Bobby will lose his case as he was pretty stupid in telling the court he had to discipline Anna. I can't imagine that the judge won't rule in Anna's favor...but then one never knows. This is a great chapter and I look forward to the next one. Well done....blessings, chey
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2011
|
Hi Barbara,
I think Bobby will lose his case as he was pretty stupid in telling the court he had to discipline Anna. I can't imagine that the judge won't rule in Anna's favor...but then one never knows. This is a great chapter and I look forward to the next one. Well done....blessings, chey
Comment Written 18-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2011
-
Thank you for the kind review.
