Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 32 "Part two, Chapter 10"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
88 total reviews
Comment from Piggies Grandma
I enjoyed reading this chapter, barbara. Imagine having to put up with a mother in law like that. No wonder the son is the way he is. I look forward to reading the next chapter.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2011
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I enjoyed reading this chapter, barbara. Imagine having to put up with a mother in law like that. No wonder the son is the way he is. I look forward to reading the next chapter.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from rosine (roneth)
Very good writing!
The dialogue moves the plot along nicely.
The break is fine (for me as a reader). It left me wanting to turn the page to see what happens next.
I do see clearly the character of Bobby and his mom.
Keep up the good work!
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2011
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Very good writing!
The dialogue moves the plot along nicely.
The break is fine (for me as a reader). It left me wanting to turn the page to see what happens next.
I do see clearly the character of Bobby and his mom.
Keep up the good work!
Comment Written 21-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from glpar
The story continues in it's realistic tone. Well written and holds the attention of the reader. Bobby was the best witness for Anna's case.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2011
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The story continues in it's realistic tone. Well written and holds the attention of the reader. Bobby was the best witness for Anna's case.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Cheryl Baker
You got me in. I found the story enthralling. The story of the court case shows a deep insight into the behavior of domestic violence. Even down to the ex-mother-in-law taking her son's side and Bobby thinking he had the right to discipline his wife. I liked the court case. It reads well. Looking forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2011
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You got me in. I found the story enthralling. The story of the court case shows a deep insight into the behavior of domestic violence. Even down to the ex-mother-in-law taking her son's side and Bobby thinking he had the right to discipline his wife. I liked the court case. It reads well. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from elgone
First and foremost a chapter needs to be as long as necessary to convey the message. And I can assure you this one was not that long.
You have amazing skills as a storyteller and gifts as a writer. But you already know that. It is remarkable that you champion causes. No one needs to live a life in fear of their survival. I join you in your effort to create awareness of the anathema.
Thank you for posting your work. It is excellent.
E
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2011
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First and foremost a chapter needs to be as long as necessary to convey the message. And I can assure you this one was not that long.
You have amazing skills as a storyteller and gifts as a writer. But you already know that. It is remarkable that you champion causes. No one needs to live a life in fear of their survival. I join you in your effort to create awareness of the anathema.
Thank you for posting your work. It is excellent.
E
Comment Written 20-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Readywriter52
Mrs. Rodgers is as bad as her son is. Neither should be permitted anywhere near Michael. Bobby's testimony shows the type of person he is. He believes his beating on his wife is only discipline. He is delusional.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2011
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Mrs. Rodgers is as bad as her son is. Neither should be permitted anywhere near Michael. Bobby's testimony shows the type of person he is. He believes his beating on his wife is only discipline. He is delusional.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from meg2
This is very good. I did not find it to long, it moved along very smoothly. The events of the day followed a good time line and the dialog seemed real, believable. I did find that the lack of explanation as to "I had to discipline her" was distracting. I found it almost unbelievable that her attorney would not ask for him to explain.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2011
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This is very good. I did not find it to long, it moved along very smoothly. The events of the day followed a good time line and the dialog seemed real, believable. I did find that the lack of explanation as to "I had to discipline her" was distracting. I found it almost unbelievable that her attorney would not ask for him to explain.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from bhogg
Hi Barbara - this is another terrific post. You're starting to dial up the tension. Great mixture of dialog and narrative. I even learned a little legal stuff. Great job. Bill
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2011
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Hi Barbara - this is another terrific post. You're starting to dial up the tension. Great mixture of dialog and narrative. I even learned a little legal stuff. Great job. Bill
Comment Written 20-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
I apprciate your support.
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Don't thank me. I so much look forward to your posts. Grand entertainment and enjoymet (plus I'm like a sponge and learn from you) Always warm regards, Bill
Comment from snoopy lover
I thought this was very well written with excellent dialogue. The scene in the courtroom was very detailed and the reader felt like he or she was there. Only one sentence at the beginning I would suggest another look at:
beige crocheted lace yoke short sleeved sweater.
This female reader stumbled over this description. I can only imagine what the males might do. Consider leaving out "crocheted?"
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2011
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I thought this was very well written with excellent dialogue. The scene in the courtroom was very detailed and the reader felt like he or she was there. Only one sentence at the beginning I would suggest another look at:
beige crocheted lace yoke short sleeved sweater.
This female reader stumbled over this description. I can only imagine what the males might do. Consider leaving out "crocheted?"
Comment Written 20-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2011
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Thank you for your suggestion.
Comment from Van
No worries on the length. Readers alway have the option of skipping I suppose. Great read. I'm sure it was a piece of a larger story.
content; Excellent
Flow; excellent, easy readability
Mechanics: Excellent
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2011
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No worries on the length. Readers alway have the option of skipping I suppose. Great read. I'm sure it was a piece of a larger story.
content; Excellent
Flow; excellent, easy readability
Mechanics: Excellent
Comment Written 20-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
