Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 31 "Part one, Chapter 10"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
84 total reviews
Comment from N.K. Wagner
Barbara, I think you did just fine with the abuse trial. You're right, the divorce trial has more potential for drama and two would be too much. The PI thing should be fine since it's only over the weekend. I suspect Troy's medical condition will be presented as a threat to Michael's well-being. Even if they only see each other in company, that could be played up to sound like Anna is putting her son in danger. Of course, Anna doesn't know about it, so she must be negligent, right? Well done. :) Nancy
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2011
  |
Barbara, I think you did just fine with the abuse trial. You're right, the divorce trial has more potential for drama and two would be too much. The PI thing should be fine since it's only over the weekend. I suspect Troy's medical condition will be presented as a threat to Michael's well-being. Even if they only see each other in company, that could be played up to sound like Anna is putting her son in danger. Of course, Anna doesn't know about it, so she must be negligent, right? Well done. :) Nancy
Comment Written 12-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2011
-
Thank you for the kind review and insight.
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
Good follow on and crucial chapter, dealing with the sentence for domestic violence.
A few things occured to me as I read, and I do appreciate that things may be different in an American Court, to the English one, but it would be interesting to know.
Bobby was sentenced to three months in prison. In England, with good behaviour he would be out in half that time.
Is this different in America?
Also, in England, a prison sentence and probation are two separate penalties, so the guilty party would be sentenced to either ONE or the OTHER - but not both at the same time.
If released early, he would automatically be on licence for the actual term of the sentence - which would mean that if he violated his parole detail, he could be recalled to prison, or resentenced if he committed further crimes.
Don't worry if you don't know the detail, but I just thought it would be interesting to compare.
Juliette
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2011
|
Good follow on and crucial chapter, dealing with the sentence for domestic violence.
A few things occured to me as I read, and I do appreciate that things may be different in an American Court, to the English one, but it would be interesting to know.
Bobby was sentenced to three months in prison. In England, with good behaviour he would be out in half that time.
Is this different in America?
Also, in England, a prison sentence and probation are two separate penalties, so the guilty party would be sentenced to either ONE or the OTHER - but not both at the same time.
If released early, he would automatically be on licence for the actual term of the sentence - which would mean that if he violated his parole detail, he could be recalled to prison, or resentenced if he committed further crimes.
Don't worry if you don't know the detail, but I just thought it would be interesting to compare.
Juliette
Comment Written 12-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2011
-
Nope, Bobby will be out soon. In the US he will be on probatiion as soon as he's released as part of the sentencing. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Helen Tan
Oh dear, I hope they're not wrong about when the PI was hired to start work! I suspect he started trailing earlier and he has a bundle of incriminating photos already. A clean chapter, Barbara. =D
The court-ordered anger management and alcohol classes should help.
I'm not sure about "alcohol classes" - it sounds as if you learn about alcohol at these classes. I know what you mean. Maybe insert something about rehab - alcohol rehab sessions.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2011
|
Oh dear, I hope they're not wrong about when the PI was hired to start work! I suspect he started trailing earlier and he has a bundle of incriminating photos already. A clean chapter, Barbara. =D
The court-ordered anger management and alcohol classes should help.
I'm not sure about "alcohol classes" - it sounds as if you learn about alcohol at these classes. I know what you mean. Maybe insert something about rehab - alcohol rehab sessions.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2011
-
I see what you mean about the alcohol classes. I will check into it. Thank you for your review and support.
Comment from robina1978
Very good once more and sounds so promising for Anna.
She must feel a bit relieved.
Pity of the PI; but sure she will cope with that somehow.
And what an ordeal these women having to face their abusive husbands in court.
Characters and dialogues realistic as always.
No tips to improve.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2011
|
Very good once more and sounds so promising for Anna.
She must feel a bit relieved.
Pity of the PI; but sure she will cope with that somehow.
And what an ordeal these women having to face their abusive husbands in court.
Characters and dialogues realistic as always.
No tips to improve.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from CALLAHANMR
Hi Barbara:)
I think you handled the trial perfectly. Your readers already know the despicable action of Bobby and his nasty mother. I doubt that the minor misunderstanding at the grocery store or the follow up meeting in the park will affect the divorce and custody trial.
Few judges would give custody to an abusive husband with a record of drunken assault. Bobby's mother also has upset one court preceding and is likely to pop off in the divorce trial. Still there is plenty of opportunity for high dramma in the next trial and I am ready fo it.
Great dialog with a believable story line. What more could a reader ask for.
Love and Irish hugs.
Roger
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2011
 |
Hi Barbara:)
I think you handled the trial perfectly. Your readers already know the despicable action of Bobby and his nasty mother. I doubt that the minor misunderstanding at the grocery store or the follow up meeting in the park will affect the divorce and custody trial.
Few judges would give custody to an abusive husband with a record of drunken assault. Bobby's mother also has upset one court preceding and is likely to pop off in the divorce trial. Still there is plenty of opportunity for high dramma in the next trial and I am ready fo it.
Great dialog with a believable story line. What more could a reader ask for.
Love and Irish hugs.
Roger
Comment Written 12-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review and support.
Comment from writerwish
This story well emphasizes the edge many abused ones are forced to walk. The situations are something they are stuck in the middle of and they must use the system to fix things as it is the only one they have!
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2011
|
This story well emphasizes the edge many abused ones are forced to walk. The situations are something they are stuck in the middle of and they must use the system to fix things as it is the only one they have!
Comment Written 12-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2011
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from dbmccarter
I like that we know what happened in court but weren't there. Especially if you do have another courtroom scene. I get the feeling that you are getting near the end.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2011
|
I like that we know what happened in court but weren't there. Especially if you do have another courtroom scene. I get the feeling that you are getting near the end.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2011
-
Thank you for the kind review. We are about half way through this novel.
Comment from Kashif Ali Abbas
This is one likeable chapter, the style is peculiar and sounds awesome indeed. a very well written piece that flows well
regards
K
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2011
|
This is one likeable chapter, the style is peculiar and sounds awesome indeed. a very well written piece that flows well
regards
K
Comment Written 11-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2011
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Connie P
Great chapter, Barbara. I agree with the way you handled the trial, especially if you're going into detail with the divorce case. You told us enough to know Bobby stayed true to his sorry character in court and that he didn't get enough time.
Note:She's hired a PI and is searching for all the dirt she can dig up on you (you used P.I. throughout the rest of the story)
Connie
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2011
|
Great chapter, Barbara. I agree with the way you handled the trial, especially if you're going into detail with the divorce case. You told us enough to know Bobby stayed true to his sorry character in court and that he didn't get enough time.
Note:She's hired a PI and is searching for all the dirt she can dig up on you (you used P.I. throughout the rest of the story)
Connie
Comment Written 11-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2011
-
I will correct that. I didn't even notice. Thank you for your eagle eye.
Comment from Readywriter52
Anna needs to stay squeaky clean for a while. Her mother-in-law would love to get something on her. I hope Troy can restrain himself until Anna is divorced.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2011
|
Anna needs to stay squeaky clean for a while. Her mother-in-law would love to get something on her. I hope Troy can restrain himself until Anna is divorced.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review.
