Pursuit
Modern day tracker33 total reviews
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Very creative story using those words. I will be awake all night wondering what happened to him as you left us with suspense. Great story Susan. Good luck in the contest!!! Debbie
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2011
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Very creative story using those words. I will be awake all night wondering what happened to him as you left us with suspense. Great story Susan. Good luck in the contest!!! Debbie
Comment Written 14-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2011
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HI Debbie! Gee, thank you so much. I lost by a vote! But it was fun seeing how it went I guess! LOL! I sure needed the member dollars. ") OH well. Thank you for your confidence and kind enthusiasm my friend! I appreciate that so much. xoxo, susan
Comment from Angelite
this is awesome
keeps ones eyes constantly moving waiting, waiting for what appears could only be the inevitable
Captures the interest immediately and tells a good story for flash
Nicely done,
Angel
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2011
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this is awesome
keeps ones eyes constantly moving waiting, waiting for what appears could only be the inevitable
Captures the interest immediately and tells a good story for flash
Nicely done,
Angel
Comment Written 14-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2011
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Hey Angel! Thank you! What a nice surprise! I'm glad to hear from you, this is a kind and encouraging review. Sure hope you voted, there are lots of good ones here. HUGS and smiles! Susan
Comment from Readywriter52
The Marshall is in a very bad situation. His horse is dead, and he's clinging to the side of the mountain waiting for help. He needs to get help, but he's afraid to use his cell phone. One noise or vibration can bring the mountain down on him.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2011
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The Marshall is in a very bad situation. His horse is dead, and he's clinging to the side of the mountain waiting for help. He needs to get help, but he's afraid to use his cell phone. One noise or vibration can bring the mountain down on him.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2011
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HI there Ready! Thank you...it's great to hear from you! ") Susan
Comment from sugardog
Hi Susan!! I love your voice for the outdoors, riding and mountains and such! So vivid. You really know how to lure the reader in and keep us hanging on for more. Excellent use of all the senses...really places us into the story!! I am probably late with the good luck wishes, but you always have them from me : ) Nice job. Hope you are well. Dana
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2011
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Hi Susan!! I love your voice for the outdoors, riding and mountains and such! So vivid. You really know how to lure the reader in and keep us hanging on for more. Excellent use of all the senses...really places us into the story!! I am probably late with the good luck wishes, but you always have them from me : ) Nice job. Hope you are well. Dana
Comment Written 13-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2011
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HI Dana! How are you?? I am thrilled to hear from you. I lost by a vote. But it is always fun to try! ")) I appreciate your thoughts and this great review! I've been better...we are being invaded by wolf spiders...BIG ones! I am crawling as I type! And the spray hasn't helped much! They are so awful. I know they are living, and ???necessary things, but...LORD! I slept with one eye open last night! One other friend said I could sleep there...but they are on the other side of the country, almost! Like you! LOL! It's the thought that counts! LUV YOU! Susan
Comment from missy98writer
Susan,
I missed posting my work and the dumb thing was I wrote over two weeks ago and it's still in preview mode. Your flash fiction is smartly written. and an enjoyable read. Your story paints a picture in the readers head. Excellent narrative, great characterization, good dialogue and very descriptive writing. In 514 words you've effect managed ti establish a setting, conflict, and a resolution to your story. I enjoyed your line: "Thunder vibrated the ground, more dirt crumbled away and fell to the rocks below. He held his breath then, as he thought he heard another sound that seemed to blend in with the storm. But he couldn't tell if the thump in the air was empty hope, or the big bird from the Feds." But he couldn't tell if the thump in the air was empty hope, or the big bird from the Feds." This flash fiction is getting my vote. Keep on writing fabulous flash fiction, my friend. Bravo on entertaning me. Love ya, peace out.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2011
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Susan,
I missed posting my work and the dumb thing was I wrote over two weeks ago and it's still in preview mode. Your flash fiction is smartly written. and an enjoyable read. Your story paints a picture in the readers head. Excellent narrative, great characterization, good dialogue and very descriptive writing. In 514 words you've effect managed ti establish a setting, conflict, and a resolution to your story. I enjoyed your line: "Thunder vibrated the ground, more dirt crumbled away and fell to the rocks below. He held his breath then, as he thought he heard another sound that seemed to blend in with the storm. But he couldn't tell if the thump in the air was empty hope, or the big bird from the Feds." But he couldn't tell if the thump in the air was empty hope, or the big bird from the Feds." This flash fiction is getting my vote. Keep on writing fabulous flash fiction, my friend. Bravo on entertaning me. Love ya, peace out.
Melissa.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2011
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Hi there! I wondered where your story was! BUT the one you just posted about the sisters is better! I MISSED THAT deadline! Isn't that funny! ?missing prompt...oh well. You are a good flash writer and still think it should be called "Vicious"! Ha! You area a doll, and I appreciate your confidence Missy. LUVE YOU! Suse
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Should I creat a new flash fiction contest and enter my story- it's really good.
Melissa.
Comment from gazzagodbod
ooo great story and pictures great too would love if it carried on for chapters but should do well in the contest gazzagodbod
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2011
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ooo great story and pictures great too would love if it carried on for chapters but should do well in the contest gazzagodbod
Comment Written 12-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2011
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Hi Gazza! Thank you !! I wish I had time to make some of my stories longer. I guess I should make more time...? I am grateful for your enthusiasm, thanks again!! susan
Comment from sibhus
A great short piece. You have done an excellent job of creating the atompshere of the woods, and really drawing your readering into the story. The action and pace moved along very well, and I thought the ending was perfect for the situation. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2011
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A great short piece. You have done an excellent job of creating the atompshere of the woods, and really drawing your readering into the story. The action and pace moved along very well, and I thought the ending was perfect for the situation. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2011
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Hi there! Thank you Sib. ")) I am thrilled that you like this. A real honor for me...your kind enthusiasm is most welcome....Susan
Comment from forestport12
I love how you got all my senses involved on this one. I felt like I was in the skin of this person. You certainly know how to paint the outdoors. Good luck.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2011
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I love how you got all my senses involved on this one. I felt like I was in the skin of this person. You certainly know how to paint the outdoors. Good luck.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2011
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Hi Stan! Thank you so much! You do too! I hope I haven't gotten too far behind with your work. I am so muddled up right now. There is not enuff time in a day! ") Thanks again, and keep at it, you're doing a good job. Susan
Comment from KathyH
Excellent flash fiction. Held my attention as you built the suspense. Required words integrated seamlessly. Great descriptive detail as well. Kathy
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2011
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Excellent flash fiction. Held my attention as you built the suspense. Required words integrated seamlessly. Great descriptive detail as well. Kathy
Comment Written 11-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2011
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HI Kathy! Thank you so much! I really appreciate your kind and enthusiastic review for this. Smiles! Susan
Comment from Minglement
Excellent, excellent story from your powerful opening to your knack for feeding the information slowly, like not revealing who 'he' was until the second paragraph. The information doled out in perfect portions throughout the story. You said so much in so few words. Great job :)
Just wondering, what's a 'prose chest'.
One comment on your first paragraph. You use, 'Dead as a door-nail,' a bit cliche' for you. Not sure what I'd suggest as an alternate. Maybe just "Dead as sure as anything, saddle..." Or some such.
Of course, I (and probably all other readers) wanted an ending, even if he fell to his death beside his faithful mount. Still the writing was skillful and smooth, and I loved it. Good luck in the contest. Marcia
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2011
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Excellent, excellent story from your powerful opening to your knack for feeding the information slowly, like not revealing who 'he' was until the second paragraph. The information doled out in perfect portions throughout the story. You said so much in so few words. Great job :)
Just wondering, what's a 'prose chest'.
One comment on your first paragraph. You use, 'Dead as a door-nail,' a bit cliche' for you. Not sure what I'd suggest as an alternate. Maybe just "Dead as sure as anything, saddle..." Or some such.
Of course, I (and probably all other readers) wanted an ending, even if he fell to his death beside his faithful mount. Still the writing was skillful and smooth, and I loved it. Good luck in the contest. Marcia
Comment Written 11-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2011
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OH Wow! Thank you VERY much. I lost this by one vote. SO disappointing. BUT fun none the less. ") I did take that line out too! Thanks for the tip. GOOD one! And a prose chest is purple? Pays a bit more than poetry, like this. I have NO access to the prose chest anymore. Tom doesn't know what to do, he says I have it, but I don't. Oh well. Hugs for this extra star Marcia. I love it. And you. Susan
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Ah, thank for the heads up on 'prose chest. I've never seen one :) Aw, one vote? Dang. You deerved a win on thi one, Susan. Next time! Take care, Marcia
