Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "Part 2, Chapter 9"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
81 total reviews
Comment from JW
In reading this, no spags where found. It makes for another great addition to your story and easily shows the mistakes people make when they ass-u-me things. JW :-)
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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In reading this, no spags where found. It makes for another great addition to your story and easily shows the mistakes people make when they ass-u-me things. JW :-)
Comment Written 28-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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Thank you for your kind review and insight to assume.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Barbara
Good chapter and it shows how you can bring out emoticons from people.
It shows how much Anna care for Toy
from the way she reacted. I just hope somehow Troy will explain why he was talking to the blonde ga in the grocery store
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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Hello Barbara
Good chapter and it shows how you can bring out emoticons from people.
It shows how much Anna care for Toy
from the way she reacted. I just hope somehow Troy will explain why he was talking to the blonde ga in the grocery store
Comment Written 28-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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Thank you for the kind review and continued support.
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Smiles and take care.
Gert
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Oh, perhaps in time, when things
are more settled with her ex, (hopefully,
with not too much fear and heartache)
she can then have a relationship with Troy....
So well-penned, my friend.
Margaret
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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Oh, perhaps in time, when things
are more settled with her ex, (hopefully,
with not too much fear and heartache)
she can then have a relationship with Troy....
So well-penned, my friend.
Margaret
Comment Written 28-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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We shall see, thank you for the kind review.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, barbara, a great job writing this chapter of your book, i think it's sweet that troy finished anna's shopping and delivered her groceries, even though she wouldn't open the door.
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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this is very well written, barbara, a great job writing this chapter of your book, i think it's sweet that troy finished anna's shopping and delivered her groceries, even though she wouldn't open the door.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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I think Troy is sweet too. I hope she gives him a chance to explain. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Chris Tee
Another exceptional part we have here old sport .
Barbara you have a good book in the making here my dear friend.
This is another excellent and splendid write we have here ma'am.
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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Another exceptional part we have here old sport .
Barbara you have a good book in the making here my dear friend.
This is another excellent and splendid write we have here ma'am.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Jen Gentry
Barbara,
This is very well structured and easy to read chapter, I real like your ability to get into the minds of the characters and allow the reader to feel what they are feeling and think what they are thinking very talented of you and makes for an enjoyable read
Blessings
Jenny
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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Barbara,
This is very well structured and easy to read chapter, I real like your ability to get into the minds of the characters and allow the reader to feel what they are feeling and think what they are thinking very talented of you and makes for an enjoyable read
Blessings
Jenny
Comment Written 28-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Shirley McLain
If you hurried to fast I sure couldn't tell it. Another one of your great chapters. I felt bad for both Tony and Anna. You wrote the jealousy emotion very well. Great job.
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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If you hurried to fast I sure couldn't tell it. Another one of your great chapters. I felt bad for both Tony and Anna. You wrote the jealousy emotion very well. Great job.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from rama devi
HI B. By the way, i keep forgetting to mention I like your author's notes on this story--very informative. No worries, there are not a lot of mistakes, just a few tiny things-
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"Troy, do you like red or green grapes?" ask(ed) a petite blonde in her late twenties.
*She won't answer, right now. --not sure the comma works well here.
*There's no need to repay me. 'Bye." switch first ' to "
* As she lifted a bunch of bananas,(this comma not needed--a bit cluttering) she said, "I wonder if
The chapter flows well and has good dialog. the narrative is okay--not riveting--I think it has a lot more mundane details but my attention did not wander, and that's a good thing. You do an excellent job on the pOV with italics for internal dialog.
Well paced and easy to read. As an FS chapter, it is a good length--but if meaning to publish in a book, I think the chapter is short and needs more substance.
No big nits.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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HI B. By the way, i keep forgetting to mention I like your author's notes on this story--very informative. No worries, there are not a lot of mistakes, just a few tiny things-
*
"Troy, do you like red or green grapes?" ask(ed) a petite blonde in her late twenties.
*She won't answer, right now. --not sure the comma works well here.
*There's no need to repay me. 'Bye." switch first ' to "
* As she lifted a bunch of bananas,(this comma not needed--a bit cluttering) she said, "I wonder if
The chapter flows well and has good dialog. the narrative is okay--not riveting--I think it has a lot more mundane details but my attention did not wander, and that's a good thing. You do an excellent job on the pOV with italics for internal dialog.
Well paced and easy to read. As an FS chapter, it is a good length--but if meaning to publish in a book, I think the chapter is short and needs more substance.
No big nits.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 28-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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Last weeks post is part of this chapter and the next post is the end fo the chapter. I am confused as to the sentence that begins with As, I thought after that clause a comma was always needed. I am confused which 'to' you are talking about in the sentence 'There's not need....
Thank you for the review and I am trying to make corrections, I am just a little confused on two of them.
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I'll double check those, dear. I think the comma before AS is often optional--it depends on the sentence structure. That's one of the reasons I did not deduct a star. Some of my suggestions are just that--not 'corrections" :-)
the TO is about the quote mark. You have a single line quote instead of a double switch ' to "
Just a typo-- 'Bye." switch to "Bye."
Comment from robina1978
How sad and unfortunate this is for Troy running into his secretary.
And Anna finds it hard of course to trust any man, after her bad experience.
Not that difficult to understand.
But assume they will sought it out sometime soon, I hope.
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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How sad and unfortunate this is for Troy running into his secretary.
And Anna finds it hard of course to trust any man, after her bad experience.
Not that difficult to understand.
But assume they will sought it out sometime soon, I hope.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from adewpearl
How horrible a way to live, in constant fear that the man she walked out on could be the next murderer in the news and she the next victim.
Poor Anna, thinking she caught him with another woman.
She is so emotionally vulnerable right now and he is SO damned nice.
Your author's notes are truly sobering. Brooke
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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How horrible a way to live, in constant fear that the man she walked out on could be the next murderer in the news and she the next victim.
Poor Anna, thinking she caught him with another woman.
She is so emotionally vulnerable right now and he is SO damned nice.
Your author's notes are truly sobering. Brooke
Comment Written 28-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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Thank you for the kind review. RD told me to kick the comma out fo this sentence, " As she lifted a bunch of bananas,(this comma not needed--a bit cluttering) she said, "I wonder if " I thought it needed to be there because of the As.
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I would use that comma after an introductory adverb clause. I respectfully disagree with her.
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Thank you, I did too, but I am far from knowledgable with commas.
