Reviews from

Steve's Story-Poems

Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "The Great Pyramid Race"
A collection of my poems

26 total reviews 
Comment from amahra
Excellent
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Great artwork you have chosen for you writing. I loved the lime green background colors you used to showcase your poem. I really loved the poem and thought it was such an Ode to a small town that comes alive once a year. To think two farmers caused this with a bet 50 years ago has put the King of Walsh's Pyramid on the map.

 Comment Written 16-Aug-2011


reply by the author on 18-Aug-2011
    Thank you!
    I have just been invited to read my poem on the main stage just before the start of the big race on Saturday - first time reading my poetry in public and it will be before a crowd of several thousand.... nervous? Just a bit!
    Steve
Comment from Inge_Meldgaard
Excellent
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Well done indeed! You've spun a great yarn using traditional form and modern feat :D It reads smoothly and held my interest the whole way through. Do you participate? These races are so popular - we have one here where thousands of people run in an attempt to beat an old steam train (Puffing Billy) from one station to the next (I think it's about 15k - can't quite recall, could be more). There's also the Oxfam trailwalker, which is such a huge event...have you heard of that?

 Comment Written 15-Aug-2011


reply by the author on 18-Aug-2011
    Thank you!
    No, but I've just googled them - the puffing Billy one sounds like a great idea. I am not fit or crazy enough to participate, but I have just been invited to read my poem on the main stage just before the start of the big race on Saturday - first time reading my poetry in public and it will be before a crowd of several thousand.... nervous? Just a bit!
    Steve
reply by Inge_Meldgaard on 18-Aug-2011
    Congratulations! Do hope it goes well :D If you read as well as you write, you'll have them enthralled!!
Comment from WilliamDeen
Excellent
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As the leader make his surge/// As the leader makes his surge...

Great poem with good rhyme and the rhythm is smooth. I never knew about the Pyramid in Australia. Learn something new every day!

 Comment Written 15-Aug-2011


reply by the author on 18-Aug-2011
    Thank you for the review and the typo alert.

    I have just been invited to read my poem on the main stage just before the start of the big race on Saturday - first time reading my poetry in public and it will be before a crowd of several thousand.... nervous? Just a bit!
    Steve
reply by WilliamDeen on 18-Aug-2011
    WOW! that sounds exciting!!! Good luck!
Comment from Cheryl Daphine
Excellent
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Very interesting and well done poem. You very aptly describe your event to those of us in other lands. You make it sound like great fun, and give us wonderful details of all that surrounds the Pyramid race. Very good structure and rhyme. Well written.

 Comment Written 15-Aug-2011


reply by the author on 18-Aug-2011
    Thank you!
    I have just been invited to read my poem on the main stage just before the start of the big race on Saturday - first time reading my poetry in public and it will be before a crowd of several thousand.... nervous? Just a bit!
    Steve
reply by Cheryl Daphine on 18-Aug-2011
    What an honor,I wish you the best. Just don't look up,look out over their heads. That helps me.
Comment from robina1978
Excellent
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Sounds like a great event to attend.
Sure you do, I think.
Nice how you put the history in as well.
Reads easily .
Brings strong images and emotions.
Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 15-Aug-2011


reply by the author on 18-Aug-2011
    Thank you!
    I have just been invited to read my poem on the main stage just before the start of the big race on Saturday - first time reading my poetry in public and it will be before a crowd of several thousand.... nervous? Just a bit!
    Steve
reply by robina1978 on 18-Aug-2011
    Great, don't be nervous.You'll manage somehow-LOL
Comment from rawahymis
Excellent
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Well expressed tale of the Pyramid Race.
The race is well documented, from when and how it originated to the track itself.
This is very historical and it is good to document such social events, for often our past gets obscured and perishes.
The story in depicted in well constructed line using poetic language, which is a joy for the reader.
Thank you for sharing.
rawahy

 Comment Written 15-Aug-2011


reply by the author on 18-Aug-2011
    Thank you!
    I have just been invited to read my poem on the main stage just before the start of the big race on Saturday - first time reading my poetry in public and it will be before a crowd of several thousand.... nervous? Just a bit!
    Steve
Comment from honeytree
Excellent
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Very interesting art work and words written here.

I feel this journey would be to much for me

I wish all the contestants all the best.

The journey would be hard and one would have to be fit.

Honey tree

 Comment Written 15-Aug-2011


reply by the author on 15-Aug-2011
    Thank you for your kind words and the review.
    Steve
Comment from writerwish
Excellent
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This is a wonderful poetic writing that just seems to sing. In fact, as I read I song it to a song I know and it fit very well. I would do something to make this a kind of cheering/country song. I sang it to:Does Your Bubble Gum Lose It's Flavor on the Bedpost Overnight.....Maybe you can find this tune on U-tube?

 Comment Written 15-Aug-2011


reply by the author on 15-Aug-2011
    I'm more than old enough to know that song quite well! I'm glad you enjoyed the post enough to sing along - I actually borrowed the rhyme and rhythm scheme from one of Australia's most famous poems - The Man From Snowy River
    Thanks for the kind words.
    Steve
Comment from alexgardiner
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level




'They are coming! They are coming!' and a thrill runs through the crowd.
The cheering and the shouting all combine.


Great Austrliana poem Bonny lad. luved it tae bits.

No daft enuf tae enter this wan an' too blidy auld as weel.
The Auld Yin.

 Comment Written 15-Aug-2011


reply by the author on 15-Aug-2011
    Many thanks for the kind words and the Six Stars. Like you, I am not quite crazy enough to even contemplate entering.
    Steve
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Man, that was some turkey! You beaudy mate! This one is a classic in the vein of Banjo Paterson. A most enjoyable rollicking read... I loved it! Wish I could be there to see the race. Good luck if you're entering... Giddy

 Comment Written 14-Aug-2011


reply by the author on 15-Aug-2011
    Yeah, and it was just a puny scrub turkey too!
    Did you pick that I actually borrowed the stanza form from 'the Man From Snowy River' so your Banjo comment is spot on?
    As for entering... I may be slightly crackers, but there's still a marble or two rolling around in there somewhere!!
    Steve