Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "Part two, Chapter 8"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
85 total reviews
Comment from JW
This chapter is well written and makes a good addition to your story. One cannot help but wonder about what is going to happen next. Will Bobby be there? And if so, will he cause trouble?
Thanks for sharing this. JW
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2011
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This chapter is well written and makes a good addition to your story. One cannot help but wonder about what is going to happen next. Will Bobby be there? And if so, will he cause trouble?
Thanks for sharing this. JW
Comment Written 07-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2011
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Right now Bobby is in jail, but there will be some surprises. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Bayberry
You got me with this one early on with the homemade biscuits hot from the oven. Yummy! I buy my homemade jam locally from a group of Mennonites. It's delicious.
I like the appreciation Anna shows as she walks through the
empty apartment. It helps give the story the feeling of reality.
Small suggestion:
re: ....the police and Eric Young, your husband's attorney will meet us at your former residence.
re: On their way to Anna's former residence, silence filled the car.
(Since the same term 'former residence' has been repeated and it sounds a bit formal, you might want to consider using something more casual like 'your old place' in the first paragraph.)
It's important that you've brought out the fact that a lot of abuse doesn't get reported because the victim is embarrassed over it happening.
Your story is a good one to help women in abusive situations. Anna is showing a positive determination in the conclusion. :> Josie
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2011
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You got me with this one early on with the homemade biscuits hot from the oven. Yummy! I buy my homemade jam locally from a group of Mennonites. It's delicious.
I like the appreciation Anna shows as she walks through the
empty apartment. It helps give the story the feeling of reality.
Small suggestion:
re: ....the police and Eric Young, your husband's attorney will meet us at your former residence.
re: On their way to Anna's former residence, silence filled the car.
(Since the same term 'former residence' has been repeated and it sounds a bit formal, you might want to consider using something more casual like 'your old place' in the first paragraph.)
It's important that you've brought out the fact that a lot of abuse doesn't get reported because the victim is embarrassed over it happening.
Your story is a good one to help women in abusive situations. Anna is showing a positive determination in the conclusion. :> Josie
Comment Written 07-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2011
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Thank you for the kind review. I will relook those areas.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Helllo Barb
Love how you write a story about abuse and the confusing time that Anna is still going through.
Well don't I don't know what it is but I still have a bad feeling Anna should be very careful.
Gert
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2011
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Helllo Barb
Love how you write a story about abuse and the confusing time that Anna is still going through.
Well don't I don't know what it is but I still have a bad feeling Anna should be very careful.
Gert
Comment Written 07-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2011
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Anna should be careful. I appreciate your kind review.
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You are welcome Barb
Gert
Comment from Cheryl Daphine
Very good chapter Barbara. It is true how victims try to hide the abuse out of shame. Isn't that wild,that is how an abusive person plays on the mind and emotions of the abused.The story is progressing great,and I look forward to the next part.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2011
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Very good chapter Barbara. It is true how victims try to hide the abuse out of shame. Isn't that wild,that is how an abusive person plays on the mind and emotions of the abused.The story is progressing great,and I look forward to the next part.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from James Clayton
Hi Barbara,
I havent had the chance to read any other chapters, but this one was well-written, and does a good job of setting up the next chapter. Enjoy your vacation
James
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2011
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Hi Barbara,
I havent had the chance to read any other chapters, but this one was well-written, and does a good job of setting up the next chapter. Enjoy your vacation
James
Comment Written 07-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Helen Tan
Hope you're enjoying your break.
I didn't spot any SPAG.
Anna is lucky to have Betty and Margaret to babysit. Otherwise it could be hell bringing a toodler to the lawyers and to her old home to do packing.
"I can do this." She nodded. "I'm ready."
Not an easy step but necessary. It will be emotional because despite all the bad, there might be some happy memories that will tear her. I hope there's no surprises waiting for her at the old home.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2011
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Hope you're enjoying your break.
I didn't spot any SPAG.
Anna is lucky to have Betty and Margaret to babysit. Otherwise it could be hell bringing a toodler to the lawyers and to her old home to do packing.
"I can do this." She nodded. "I'm ready."
Not an easy step but necessary. It will be emotional because despite all the bad, there might be some happy memories that will tear her. I hope there's no surprises waiting for her at the old home.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2011
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Yes, want Michael in the story, but I don't want him to take center stage. Thank you for the kind review and support.
Comment from tango494
I love reading your story. I would kill to be able to write dialogues like you do. They always read so smooth and are very believable. I also find your story very easy to follow and quite interesting. Thanks again for sharing and best wishes.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2011
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I love reading your story. I would kill to be able to write dialogues like you do. They always read so smooth and are very believable. I also find your story very easy to follow and quite interesting. Thanks again for sharing and best wishes.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2011
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I am always willing to help. If you have questions about dialogue, PM me. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from MS Writer
Another slice of Anna's life in learning how to deal with abuse. I can see every forward step is very difficult and I never thought about all the people you have to face after having hidden the abuse from everyone. Well done and enjoy the rest of your vaction.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2011
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Another slice of Anna's life in learning how to deal with abuse. I can see every forward step is very difficult and I never thought about all the people you have to face after having hidden the abuse from everyone. Well done and enjoy the rest of your vaction.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from writerwish
You are back. So glad, I am anxious to see where this goes. I like the way you continue the consistency of your characters in here and show the feelings, especially of Anna. Continues to be very realistic.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2011
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You are back. So glad, I am anxious to see where this goes. I like the way you continue the consistency of your characters in here and show the feelings, especially of Anna. Continues to be very realistic.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Connie P
So far, Anna is very lucky and I think it's smart to give Paul her spare key. Bobby still makes me nervous, he'll get a chance to try and get even eventually.
Great chapter,
Connie
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2011
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So far, Anna is very lucky and I think it's smart to give Paul her spare key. Bobby still makes me nervous, he'll get a chance to try and get even eventually.
Great chapter,
Connie
Comment Written 07-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2011
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Bobby does come after Anna. Thank you for the kind review.
