Reviews from

Lonely Hearts Meet

Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Part 4 Chapter 6"
Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.

82 total reviews 
Comment from eliz100
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This was another good read from beginning to end, as usual. Through the conversation between Paul and Anna. Paul is helping her to improve her self-esteem. Good job.

 Comment Written 12-Jul-2011


reply by the author on 12-Jul-2011
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Writingfundimension
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The crisp dialogue and super action in this chapter really worked well for me. I love that you've allowed your character to have such genuine people in her life. So many don't. Another fine addition to your spell-binding saga. Take care, Bev

 Comment Written 12-Jul-2011


reply by the author on 12-Jul-2011
    Thank you for your kind review.
reply by Writingfundimension on 12-Jul-2011
    You're welcome!
Comment from misscookie
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I'm glad you are adjusting AS well as you can.
As for your story You did it again there was NEVER A DULL MOMENT.
I LAUGHED WHEN THE LAWYER said she WILL BE Protected WITH A RESTRAINING ORDER. SOME WOMEN WOULD HAVE MORE USE OF IT IF IT USED IT FOR TOiLET PAPER.
Thank YOU FOR SHARING.

 Comment Written 12-Jul-2011


reply by the author on 12-Jul-2011
    Thank you for the kind review. It's true about the restraining order. That's why I included the rest
reply by misscookie on 12-Jul-2011
    Your welcome. I'm glad you did that.
reply by misscookie on 12-Jul-2011
    Your welcome. I'm glad you did that.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

what a trying, unsure
time it is for Anna...
but at least she's in
safe, capable hands.

"You are a very smart young lady and [[you are]] capable of being in charge of many things." - you might consider losing the 2nd "you are".. it's not really necessary.

have a very good paying job-might you consider... have a very well-paid job

Am I right?(")


Margaret

 Comment Written 12-Jul-2011


reply by the author on 12-Jul-2011
    I thought I added the quotes. I am beginning to think Evil Eddie is deleting that set of quotes. I will recheck. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from kiwisteveh
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Still rolling smoothly along - right about now, I would be thinking what could be done to give it a shake-up, to inject more suspense or conflict perhaps. I wouldn't wish that in real life of course, but this is fiction and needs more than anxiety about possible future court appearances to keep readers hooked.

Am I being appallingly ignorant by saying that I don't know what you mean by having your 'port' removed?

 Comment Written 12-Jul-2011


reply by the author on 12-Jul-2011
    Before I started chemo the doctor put a device under my skin, just below my left shoulder, it went directly into a vein. It was done so the chemo would no have to go in a vein. Thank you for you kind review. I am trying to make this novel as real as possible. I have many abused women following it and they want it to be real, not some fantasy story and they want me to sensitive to what they have gone through.
Comment from Auroraboreal800
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

HI BARBARA!
I THINK PAUL IS LIKE AN ANGEL FOR ANNA AND MICHAEL... BOBBY IN JAIL IS A VERY GOOD NEWS... THIS IS A WONDERFUL CHAPTER THAT I'VE ENJOY A LOT!
GOD BLESS YOU MY DEAR FRIEND.

 Comment Written 12-Jul-2011


reply by the author on 12-Jul-2011
    Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I am sorry you are having such problems with pain. I too suffer from chronic pain and a new pain does distract you from the old one. Another nicely written chapter. It emphasizes how many women are afraid they can't take care of themselves and thus stay with your abuser. Keep up the good work with this story. It is increasing sensitivity to this problem by putting a face on it!!!! debbie

 Comment Written 12-Jul-2011


reply by the author on 12-Jul-2011
    Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Gideon Roth
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello Barbara. Another well written addition to this story. Powerful messages being address in a clear and entertaining way. Descriptive scenes and great dialogue make for an enjoyable read. No spag of any kind. Looking forward to your next post. With appreciation...Tim

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2011


reply by the author on 12-Jul-2011
    Thank you for your kind review and support.
Comment from Yellow Butterfly
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This gave me chills! I had a verbally and emotionally abusive husband who threatened to kill me, in a very creative way. This is well written. You should try to get this published but it does need some editing for end of sentence prepositions and such but it is still very well structured. Editing is a minor thing and not adjustments so I gave this the six it deserves! I will check out SAFE. I escaped by staying with co-workers that I didn't know well at all and I was almost as afraid of them as I was of my husband. I was lucky though, they were very nice people. We need more stories like this to be pushed at young girls, instead of silly fairytales and vampire stories!

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2011


reply by the author on 12-Jul-2011
    Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Joan E.
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Thank you for the philosophical update about how you are dealing with the pain. My thoughts are with you. I also appreciate all of the information about the profile of a batterer. Thank you also for the little segue into today's chapter. I like Paul's encouraging Ana that she "is in charge" of her life now. You also made it clear how intimidating the process must be with all the paperwork that needs to be signed, let alone the emotional issues. -Joan

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2011


reply by the author on 12-Jul-2011
    Thank you for your kind review.