In an Instant...
A brush with death15 total reviews
Comment from RKagan
Wow this was an intense story. I am glad it had a happy ending. I think this is an excellent entry to the contest. Best of luck to you.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2011
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Wow this was an intense story. I am glad it had a happy ending. I think this is an excellent entry to the contest. Best of luck to you.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2011
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Thanks so much for the kind review and encouragement. Bill
Comment from Karen Stram
This is potentially a powerful, exciting story. The spirituality is touching. The description of the accident is good but could use work. At times, what is said could be said more simply for example "my lane" instead of "the lane I was in. More simplicity could enhance the tension of the piece.
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reply by the author on 06-Jul-2011
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This is potentially a powerful, exciting story. The spirituality is touching. The description of the accident is good but could use work. At times, what is said could be said more simply for example "my lane" instead of "the lane I was in. More simplicity could enhance the tension of the piece.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2011
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Thanks for the review.
Comment from Charlene0513
To Bananafish308,
An incredible wonderment or feat of being able to beat fate.
You took my breathe away on several accounts; as one never knows when there time is up. My husband truly believes that unless it is your time, He will sustain you.
I have a deep, abiding faith and I believe there is some truth to that saying.
It proved to be very mind-boggling but you constucted the story well.
But your best line that had merit was: "but instead I just try to live life to its fullest and be the best person possible."
Very well done and with a nice cadence to your paragraphs.
Charlene
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2011
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To Bananafish308,
An incredible wonderment or feat of being able to beat fate.
You took my breathe away on several accounts; as one never knows when there time is up. My husband truly believes that unless it is your time, He will sustain you.
I have a deep, abiding faith and I believe there is some truth to that saying.
It proved to be very mind-boggling but you constucted the story well.
But your best line that had merit was: "but instead I just try to live life to its fullest and be the best person possible."
Very well done and with a nice cadence to your paragraphs.
Charlene
Comment Written 02-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2011
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Charlene, thanks so much for the very kind words and review. Bill
Comment from Sasha
This is very well written and filled with tension and uncertainty of what will happen. It reads much better with the addition of the police not coming. Very good entry for this contest and I sincerely wish you all the best.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2011
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This is very well written and filled with tension and uncertainty of what will happen. It reads much better with the addition of the police not coming. Very good entry for this contest and I sincerely wish you all the best.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2011
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Thanks for the kind words and helpful review. We called the police and they never showed up. I added a passage to the story explaining this detail. Thanks for reading.
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Thanks again for the kind review and encouragement.
Comment from adewpearl
You describe the dreaded wintry mix storm well.
In stolid resignation, I steeled myself - love that passage
black ice - I hate that stuff and have almost been in a couple of accidents because of it
I am SO happy you walked away unscathed, my friend :-)
You drove home? Now, that is miraculous.
A most thoughtful conclusion - this is definitely one dramatic tale of survival! Brooke
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2011
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You describe the dreaded wintry mix storm well.
In stolid resignation, I steeled myself - love that passage
black ice - I hate that stuff and have almost been in a couple of accidents because of it
I am SO happy you walked away unscathed, my friend :-)
You drove home? Now, that is miraculous.
A most thoughtful conclusion - this is definitely one dramatic tale of survival! Brooke
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2011
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Hi Brooke. Thanks so much for the wonderful review. You know, it's funny what you do in situations like this. I didn't want to drive home, but I was about 30 miles from home and needed to get home. The van was drivable, so I just did it. I drove very tentatively for a while, until I was fairly certain that the van seemed okay mechanically. Thanks again for reading and reviewing. Bill
