Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 28 "a life that was of my own choice"A book of Poetry & Writing
132 total reviews
Comment from Mastery
Outstanding entry, author. Wow! You nailed the essence of second-guessing one's life to the tee. I especially liked these lines:
"As I look down the farthest side of my life with age,
Fulfilled and understanding in all, and truly content
to have lived a life that was of my own choice"
Good write. Bob
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2011
  |
Outstanding entry, author. Wow! You nailed the essence of second-guessing one's life to the tee. I especially liked these lines:
"As I look down the farthest side of my life with age,
Fulfilled and understanding in all, and truly content
to have lived a life that was of my own choice"
Good write. Bob
Comment Written 30-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2011
-
thank you
Comment from chita
You have good imagery and a good flow with your poem-you write a compelling story about your life in your poem and feel that you have made the right choice--I like where you write(to have lived a life that was of my own choice) well said and a great job.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2011
|
You have good imagery and a good flow with your poem-you write a compelling story about your life in your poem and feel that you have made the right choice--I like where you write(to have lived a life that was of my own choice) well said and a great job.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2011
-
thank you
Comment from pickthorn
An interesting composition that looks back on the life of the author and recognizes the mistakes made during life's journey that has caused anger, tears, and pain. But through it all he has found peace and contentment with the knowledge he lived the life of his own choice.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2011
|
An interesting composition that looks back on the life of the author and recognizes the mistakes made during life's journey that has caused anger, tears, and pain. But through it all he has found peace and contentment with the knowledge he lived the life of his own choice.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2011
-
thank you
Comment from Carolyn Hilliard
May we each be true to ourselves. It is hard. Live distracts us; well meaning people sometimes interfere with the path that lets one do as they want with their lives. There are the restrictions we also put on ourselves. Your poem is food for thought poet. No suggestions.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2011
|
May we each be true to ourselves. It is hard. Live distracts us; well meaning people sometimes interfere with the path that lets one do as they want with their lives. There are the restrictions we also put on ourselves. Your poem is food for thought poet. No suggestions.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2011
-
thank you
Comment from Rose Hearth
The prompt is...the life you almost lived. This poem seems to be the life you DID live. I am glad that you have no regrets, but you seemed to have missed the point.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2011
 |
The prompt is...the life you almost lived. This poem seems to be the life you DID live. I am glad that you have no regrets, but you seemed to have missed the point.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2011
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hmmm
Comment from TSPoet
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POEM CRITIQUE
FanStory Poem Posting
Date: 06.30.2011
TSPOET: Review Partner
Writing Prompt Entry: a life that was of my own choice
Contest Entry: n/a
Category: General Poetry
Poem Title: The Life He Almost Lived
looking back on life
Author: Author information not displayed for this contest.
.
Your Personalized Review:
May I say that I personally present to you a review, updated and not seen nowhere else but here on Fanstory. I believe as little or more that we read, there is so much that we can see, beyond what teaching presents. The heart of a poem has many emotions.
I make this personal and heartouched.
This evaluation (TSPoet PERSONAL OPINION SCALE) is a fun way to not only basic disciplines of styles but an added menu of the meanings of your words, emotions, images etc..My friend, we are here for ratings also, that is not the main reason. I know I am heard here and of course you also. Now let us share, make it fair and show we care. So, thank you for your writings and your deepness within your characters. Your poems and story's have nourished my soul, gave me knowledge, touched my life, left your embellishible scars and fleeting joys.
So thank you writers for pathing your wooded inlands of impeccable imaginations.
I am honored to read your work
Thank You
.
REALITY TIME
A Sincere point:
It is SAD that there are those that use other fanstory names to rebel a unacceptable score they do not like. These cutthroters have no conscience.
There are pattern's you imbeciles.
ADVANTAGES:
We have the ability to reach uncontested avenues within our own minds through our hearts and SHARE our opinions RESPECTFULLY with other's. FanStory gives us an open arena to broaden our horizon's with knowledge.
Why Give FanStory a bad name. BE FAIR with each other.
Show Heart.
.
Let's Start the Review... :o)
.
TSPoet PERSONAL OPINION SCALE:
AWARD(s): n/a
RATING: Excellent / 5 Star (low 5)
RATING SCALE: Score 9.2 avg. per area / 37 pts. of 40
.
FIRST IMPRESSION of POEM:
(Impression at first read)
DESCRIPTIVE WORD'S chosen to DESCRIBE the reading:
.
A Gallant Approach, intimacy of Life's righteousness, complete of oneself
.
SUMMERY REVIEW
With a noble approach, sprinkled with sincerity, you have snared at the readers with a assuring gesture. Your words simply apply unchanged realities within our lives, without weather change, to live by our own choices. An awakening message revealed.
.
ENCOURAGING WORD'S:
1. The Structure here is uninformed based on options to use within the free style guidelines. It is easy to follow and develops more interest to the end.
2. Visually it weighs and flutters our hearts of life's choices to move forward.
3. Emotionally assured, alive, of just direction. Well performed message given.
INTERESTING SELECTIONS:
Phrases, Sentences, Words
.
"Far from the comforts and well-lit avenues of life"
...The Unknowns, parables to conquer
.
"Fulfilled and understanding in all"
...The comfort of lifes experiences
.
.
All SUGGESTED CHANGES WILL HAVE THIS ( )...my Notes have this > <...your words ""
RECOMMENDED SUGGESTING(s)
PHRASE(s), SENTENCE(s), WORD(s)
.
Your poem being of free style, non tempered and of pure suggestive natures with a solid assureness built within the words. Well done.
.
ORIGINAL:
" "
.
SUGGESTION:
> <
.
.
RATING SCALE: Rating SCORE: 9.2 average per Rating level,Total: 37 points of 40
Level Ratings: One through Ten. 1-10, Ten (10) is the Best.
.
RATING SCORE TOTALS per AREA:
.
>..YES.....Would You recommend it to someone else...For Sure
>..08......Free Style & Mix Rhyme / Did the Poem Flow
>..xx......Rhyming / Rhymes forced or not
>..09......Structure make sense (Layout of Grammar, Meter, Cadence etc...)
>..10......Emotional Impact with imagination (Very Pleasant, Teary, etc...)
>..10......Imagery / Visual (Word depiction of imagery very in depth vividly.)
>..00......BONUS POINTS .... ..bonus points not part of avg.
...___.....
...37....(40 the highest)
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
AWARD CONTRIBUTION'S:______________Writers-Awards Given
Overall Out Standing Award..................03
Outstanding Worded Visual Award.............03
Original (Only) Fine & Graphic Art Award....01
Perfection Award............................02
Originality Award...........................04
Unique Word Selection Award.................03
Amazing Dialog Award........................00
True Inner Self Revealed Award..............01
NOTE: Overall Outstanding Award - 10 pts, the rest 5 pts ea.
UPDATED: 06.30.11
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
My critiquing mostly is heart sounds I hear from words connecting with beats, saying the beats that I feel through my heart creates rhythms, beats, what poetry is. People are more then welcome to read my poetic words of sound of the heart in my poems. The heart has a beat as it is known that poetry has rhythm.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
RATING SCALE DESCRIPTION:
I took FanStories basic explanation based on their guidelines and past Creative Writing Courses including current Real Life writing groups and developed this Rating Examination Form for the Reader to use in helping to Rate the Poems and Stories on this website. This has worked out exceptionally well with wonderful feed backs.
There is Not and Never will be any form or suggestion of directed abuse, rudeness, twisted rebalance etc.. against other writers or participants, Promise, Tom - TSPoet.
.
This procedure is solely by TSPoet original format.© Copyright Protected 2011
TSPoet a/k/a PoetTree Book "Rhyme with Reason" Author House, Amazon.com
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2011
|
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
POEM CRITIQUE
FanStory Poem Posting
Date: 06.30.2011
TSPOET: Review Partner
Writing Prompt Entry: a life that was of my own choice
Contest Entry: n/a
Category: General Poetry
Poem Title: The Life He Almost Lived
looking back on life
Author: Author information not displayed for this contest.
.
Your Personalized Review:
May I say that I personally present to you a review, updated and not seen nowhere else but here on Fanstory. I believe as little or more that we read, there is so much that we can see, beyond what teaching presents. The heart of a poem has many emotions.
I make this personal and heartouched.
This evaluation (TSPoet PERSONAL OPINION SCALE) is a fun way to not only basic disciplines of styles but an added menu of the meanings of your words, emotions, images etc..My friend, we are here for ratings also, that is not the main reason. I know I am heard here and of course you also. Now let us share, make it fair and show we care. So, thank you for your writings and your deepness within your characters. Your poems and story's have nourished my soul, gave me knowledge, touched my life, left your embellishible scars and fleeting joys.
So thank you writers for pathing your wooded inlands of impeccable imaginations.
I am honored to read your work
Thank You
.
REALITY TIME
A Sincere point:
It is SAD that there are those that use other fanstory names to rebel a unacceptable score they do not like. These cutthroters have no conscience.
There are pattern's you imbeciles.
ADVANTAGES:
We have the ability to reach uncontested avenues within our own minds through our hearts and SHARE our opinions RESPECTFULLY with other's. FanStory gives us an open arena to broaden our horizon's with knowledge.
Why Give FanStory a bad name. BE FAIR with each other.
Show Heart.
.
Let's Start the Review... :o)
.
TSPoet PERSONAL OPINION SCALE:
AWARD(s): n/a
RATING: Excellent / 5 Star (low 5)
RATING SCALE: Score 9.2 avg. per area / 37 pts. of 40
.
FIRST IMPRESSION of POEM:
(Impression at first read)
DESCRIPTIVE WORD'S chosen to DESCRIBE the reading:
.
A Gallant Approach, intimacy of Life's righteousness, complete of oneself
.
SUMMERY REVIEW
With a noble approach, sprinkled with sincerity, you have snared at the readers with a assuring gesture. Your words simply apply unchanged realities within our lives, without weather change, to live by our own choices. An awakening message revealed.
.
ENCOURAGING WORD'S:
1. The Structure here is uninformed based on options to use within the free style guidelines. It is easy to follow and develops more interest to the end.
2. Visually it weighs and flutters our hearts of life's choices to move forward.
3. Emotionally assured, alive, of just direction. Well performed message given.
INTERESTING SELECTIONS:
Phrases, Sentences, Words
.
"Far from the comforts and well-lit avenues of life"
...The Unknowns, parables to conquer
.
"Fulfilled and understanding in all"
...The comfort of lifes experiences
.
.
All SUGGESTED CHANGES WILL HAVE THIS ( )...my Notes have this > <...your words ""
RECOMMENDED SUGGESTING(s)
PHRASE(s), SENTENCE(s), WORD(s)
.
Your poem being of free style, non tempered and of pure suggestive natures with a solid assureness built within the words. Well done.
.
ORIGINAL:
" "
.
SUGGESTION:
> <
.
.
RATING SCALE: Rating SCORE: 9.2 average per Rating level,Total: 37 points of 40
Level Ratings: One through Ten. 1-10, Ten (10) is the Best.
.
RATING SCORE TOTALS per AREA:
.
>..YES.....Would You recommend it to someone else...For Sure
>..08......Free Style & Mix Rhyme / Did the Poem Flow
>..xx......Rhyming / Rhymes forced or not
>..09......Structure make sense (Layout of Grammar, Meter, Cadence etc...)
>..10......Emotional Impact with imagination (Very Pleasant, Teary, etc...)
>..10......Imagery / Visual (Word depiction of imagery very in depth vividly.)
>..00......BONUS POINTS .... ..bonus points not part of avg.
...___.....
...37....(40 the highest)
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
AWARD CONTRIBUTION'S:______________Writers-Awards Given
Overall Out Standing Award..................03
Outstanding Worded Visual Award.............03
Original (Only) Fine & Graphic Art Award....01
Perfection Award............................02
Originality Award...........................04
Unique Word Selection Award.................03
Amazing Dialog Award........................00
True Inner Self Revealed Award..............01
NOTE: Overall Outstanding Award - 10 pts, the rest 5 pts ea.
UPDATED: 06.30.11
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
My critiquing mostly is heart sounds I hear from words connecting with beats, saying the beats that I feel through my heart creates rhythms, beats, what poetry is. People are more then welcome to read my poetic words of sound of the heart in my poems. The heart has a beat as it is known that poetry has rhythm.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
RATING SCALE DESCRIPTION:
I took FanStories basic explanation based on their guidelines and past Creative Writing Courses including current Real Life writing groups and developed this Rating Examination Form for the Reader to use in helping to Rate the Poems and Stories on this website. This has worked out exceptionally well with wonderful feed backs.
There is Not and Never will be any form or suggestion of directed abuse, rudeness, twisted rebalance etc.. against other writers or participants, Promise, Tom - TSPoet.
.
This procedure is solely by TSPoet original format.© Copyright Protected 2011
TSPoet a/k/a PoetTree Book "Rhyme with Reason" Author House, Amazon.com
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Comment Written 30-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2011
-
thank you i think
-
I put alot of thought in this and time, I usually recieve some very warm and passionate replies, may I ask what you mean by this...I Think
Comment from Bayberry
Your posting provides an opportunity to look back and evaluate. Of course I wouldn't want to make the same mistakes again, although I understand and value the lessons learned from them. Seems like wisdom should be a genetic factor that can be handed down to future generations. Alas, we all have to make our own mistakes...except for those rare individuals who actually do listen, learn and apply. Somehow, I must have missed that part of my training. LOL
Enjoyed this entry very much. Best wishes for the contest, Josie
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2011
|
Your posting provides an opportunity to look back and evaluate. Of course I wouldn't want to make the same mistakes again, although I understand and value the lessons learned from them. Seems like wisdom should be a genetic factor that can be handed down to future generations. Alas, we all have to make our own mistakes...except for those rare individuals who actually do listen, learn and apply. Somehow, I must have missed that part of my training. LOL
Enjoyed this entry very much. Best wishes for the contest, Josie
Comment Written 30-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2011
-
thank you
Comment from lola29
Your poem is a refreshing read because you lived your life of your choice, not someone else's. You followed your dreams and didn't allow someone else to steal them. Bravo!
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2011
|
Your poem is a refreshing read because you lived your life of your choice, not someone else's. You followed your dreams and didn't allow someone else to steal them. Bravo!
Comment Written 30-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2011
-
thank you
Comment from Bloomer Burbs
Hi The author
With respect your poem explains why you feel have ended up feeling, being who you are but then it fails to express/explain why?
For example you say:
To experience lust, love, anger, tears and pain
Only to survive to see another moonlit night alone,
Then will you be at peace with yourself
I would loved you to have written about the above; such emotional experiences. Love, her wayward sister lust. The anger, which lead to tears and pain. I wanted you to tell me why you felt this way?
Why only to survive. To me they are the emotion that
Anyway, my soap box solace.
Regards, Pete
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2011
|
Hi The author
With respect your poem explains why you feel have ended up feeling, being who you are but then it fails to express/explain why?
For example you say:
To experience lust, love, anger, tears and pain
Only to survive to see another moonlit night alone,
Then will you be at peace with yourself
I would loved you to have written about the above; such emotional experiences. Love, her wayward sister lust. The anger, which lead to tears and pain. I wanted you to tell me why you felt this way?
Why only to survive. To me they are the emotion that
Anyway, my soap box solace.
Regards, Pete
Comment Written 30-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2011
-
thanks
Comment from 7thpoet
It is good or rather, great to see someone so content and happy with their decisions in life. This was exciting and well worth the read.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2011
|
It is good or rather, great to see someone so content and happy with their decisions in life. This was exciting and well worth the read.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2011
-
thank you
