Steve's Story-Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Dead Duck"A collection of my poems
46 total reviews
Comment from Fishcake
Fantastic! Totally creative and imaginative. I smiled at this sad poem. I loved the way the poem sounds and rhymes. No fault whatsoever, excellent. Need I say more!
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2011
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Fantastic! Totally creative and imaginative. I smiled at this sad poem. I loved the way the poem sounds and rhymes. No fault whatsoever, excellent. Need I say more!
Comment Written 27-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2011
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Thanks for the enthusiastic review and the Six stars - much appreciated.
Steve
Comment from the blue pixel
It's a take (for me), on an oldie but a goodie. I have been wondering for years how the expression "like a dead duck" and now I now. I found one syllable too many in your lines "The vet said that he had a minion-Who could give her esteemed opinion" or perhaps the stress in the wrong place. Personally, I would just leave out the word "her" as this still leaves you with a grammatically correct sentence Steve. Overall, I enjoyed your little story told in your imitable fashion. xx Pix
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2011
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It's a take (for me), on an oldie but a goodie. I have been wondering for years how the expression "like a dead duck" and now I now. I found one syllable too many in your lines "The vet said that he had a minion-Who could give her esteemed opinion" or perhaps the stress in the wrong place. Personally, I would just leave out the word "her" as this still leaves you with a grammatically correct sentence Steve. Overall, I enjoyed your little story told in your imitable fashion. xx Pix
Comment Written 27-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2011
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Just testing my theory that there are a lot of old jokes out there that can be recycled as poems. This one has been surprisingly well received - lucky timing perhaps - it seems to have hit the relaxed Sunday morning slot.
I can make those two lines fit OK as iambic tetrameter with one extra weak syllable tacked on at the end with the feminine rhyme e.g stress on could/her/teemed/pin but I can see how it could be confusing....
Steve
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Okay Steve. This isn't relevant to this poem, but I was wondering if you speak with a Kiwi accent - a pronounced one. That may have cause me to read things differently in the past. It just occurred to me. xx Pix
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Nope, my kiwi accent actually slips past many people - toned down by 8 years in Singapore (whence I emerged speaking Singlish) and now 11 years here...
I'm still puzzled by the two American reviewers who tell me that 'bought' and 'report' don't rhyme at all!!
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What? "bought" and "report". I can't imagine how else any accent could pronounce these words. xx Pix
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Steve,
I love this poem! The humor is first rate and made me laugh as I read your excellent words. Vets charge so much even when they do little. The poor duck he is most assuredly dead. Bravo....chey
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2011
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Hi Steve,
I love this poem! The humor is first rate and made me laugh as I read your excellent words. Vets charge so much even when they do little. The poor duck he is most assuredly dead. Bravo....chey
Comment Written 27-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2011
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Thank you for your kind words!
Steve
Comment from boberto
Ah! A good sense of humor well portrayed in a easy to read, enjoyable verse.
Tis clever and a nice change of pace for soggy old
Fan Story---I commend you.
boberto
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2011
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Ah! A good sense of humor well portrayed in a easy to read, enjoyable verse.
Tis clever and a nice change of pace for soggy old
Fan Story---I commend you.
boberto
Comment Written 26-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2011
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Thank you - I know what you mean - it can get a bit dreary and seriopus sometimes...
Steve
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welcome.
Comment from AidanConnors
Well, really funny and enjoyed this a lot...and (as with all good poems like this) the last line is groan out load (just after the guffaw of laughter it produuces.) Very funny to start my day off with and if it hadn't been for a few problems with the meter I would have given it six stars. Keep em coming.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2011
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Well, really funny and enjoyed this a lot...and (as with all good poems like this) the last line is groan out load (just after the guffaw of laughter it produuces.) Very funny to start my day off with and if it hadn't been for a few problems with the meter I would have given it six stars. Keep em coming.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2011
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Thank you!
My stuff usually bounces along with regular meter 90% of the time - enough (in my head) to allow a couple of rough spots...
The laugh is what it's all about.
Steve
Comment from c_lucas
This is very well written with a twist of humor. Didn't the Vet realized that the dead duck had a bill, also. There is good imagery and descriptive scheme.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2011
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This is very well written with a twist of humor. Didn't the Vet realized that the dead duck had a bill, also. There is good imagery and descriptive scheme.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2011
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Thank you - I did think of trying to get the duck bill into the yarn but thought better of it.
Steve
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You're welcome, Steve. Charlie
Comment from honeytree
To take our pets to the vet can be very expensive and extra things they do, even more expensive. I wonder why Vets are broke they charge to much and they know it.
Very good words and vets can charge heaps when they want to.
Honey tree
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2011
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To take our pets to the vet can be very expensive and extra things they do, even more expensive. I wonder why Vets are broke they charge to much and they know it.
Very good words and vets can charge heaps when they want to.
Honey tree
Comment Written 26-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2011
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Thanks for your review.
Steve
Comment from DonandVicki
The very best Limerick style poem that I have ever reviewed. The punch line at the very end was unexpected and refreshingly humorous. Don
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2011
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The very best Limerick style poem that I have ever reviewed. The punch line at the very end was unexpected and refreshingly humorous. Don
Comment Written 26-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2011
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All in the timing - glad it worked for you!
Thanks for the kind words.
Steve
Comment from Adri7enne
"The CAT scan and the LAB Report!" LOL! So cute. I guess the duck bought the farm, uh?
So cute. Nicely rhymed and flows right along with good, steady meter. A most enjoyable read. Good stuff!
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2011
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"The CAT scan and the LAB Report!" LOL! So cute. I guess the duck bought the farm, uh?
So cute. Nicely rhymed and flows right along with good, steady meter. A most enjoyable read. Good stuff!
Comment Written 26-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2011
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Bought the farm, kicked the bucket, turned up his toes, shuffled off this mortal coil and is now pushing up daisies!
Thank you for your kind review.
Steve
Comment from Bayberry
What a hoot! And I loved your Author Notes, too. LOL
A bit of whimsy can really lift the gloom off a rainy day. And stories about animals (whether living or not) are especially close to my heart. :> Josie
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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What a hoot! And I loved your Author Notes, too. LOL
A bit of whimsy can really lift the gloom off a rainy day. And stories about animals (whether living or not) are especially close to my heart. :> Josie
Comment Written 26-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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Thank you, Josie
Always glad to brighten up a rainy Sunday. After ten years in Australia I am finally getting used to the concept of rain being the preferred option and I can report 'Hooray! It's raining today.' even if it is little more than a drizzle.
