Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Part 1 Chapter 6"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
87 total reviews
Comment from TammyGail
Wow this was wonderfully written ..... very compelling I havnt read the other chapters yet but I do believe I will after reading this..... I loved how well you explained your self in your notes as well.......
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2011
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Wow this was wonderfully written ..... very compelling I havnt read the other chapters yet but I do believe I will after reading this..... I loved how well you explained your self in your notes as well.......
Comment Written 25-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Deorre Leonard
yes we can come up with all kinds of excuses for not leaving. Another good chapter. This has a very good flow. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2011
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yes we can come up with all kinds of excuses for not leaving. Another good chapter. This has a very good flow. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2011
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Thank you for the kind review and support.
Comment from PrincessinPurple
I am really taken by this story. You are writing a great story. I like it where there is a underground group who help women who have been abused. I am hoping Troy leaves Anna alone, so he won't get hurt.I have a feeling Troy will be a great husband for Anna and a wonderful father for Michael.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2011
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I am really taken by this story. You are writing a great story. I like it where there is a underground group who help women who have been abused. I am hoping Troy leaves Anna alone, so he won't get hurt.I have a feeling Troy will be a great husband for Anna and a wonderful father for Michael.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
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Your welcome.
Comment from mumsyone
Another good chapter, Barbara. Nice to see that Troy is staying level-headed. It's good to know there are places for abused women to hide.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2011
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Another good chapter, Barbara. Nice to see that Troy is staying level-headed. It's good to know there are places for abused women to hide.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from axelbeariter
You have written this as very well as usual, but the story is no further along than when you began this chapter. The only thing new a reader could glean from it would be the legal ramifications involving Anna's abusive husband.
"That depends on how badly her husband wants the baby back." Paul added vegetables to his plate. "I'm hoping he hasn't found a lawyer yet. If he has, he could file possible kidnapping charges against her."
"The violence is documented. Won't that help her case?"
"The charges probably wouldn't hold, but it could get messy." He stared at Troy. "That's why you need to stay away from Anna. I know you're only trying to help, but you wear your heart on your sleeve."
You could arrive at this juncture much quicker in the chapter.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2011
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You have written this as very well as usual, but the story is no further along than when you began this chapter. The only thing new a reader could glean from it would be the legal ramifications involving Anna's abusive husband.
"That depends on how badly her husband wants the baby back." Paul added vegetables to his plate. "I'm hoping he hasn't found a lawyer yet. If he has, he could file possible kidnapping charges against her."
"The violence is documented. Won't that help her case?"
"The charges probably wouldn't hold, but it could get messy." He stared at Troy. "That's why you need to stay away from Anna. I know you're only trying to help, but you wear your heart on your sleeve."
You could arrive at this juncture much quicker in the chapter.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2011
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Thank you for the review.
Comment from denhagan
This was a very interesting Part 1 of Chapter 6 to read about Troy and his father, Paul making progress on finding Anna, with the help of PI Everett. I enjoyed reading this.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2011
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This was a very interesting Part 1 of Chapter 6 to read about Troy and his father, Paul making progress on finding Anna, with the help of PI Everett. I enjoyed reading this.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
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You're welcome. Dennis
Comment from glpar
Congrats on the new computer... another well written piece. I keeps my interest and leaves me wanting more. I also like the information given so if a person is living this life it points a way out. As a survivor of abuse I know how daunting taking that first step away can be. I look forward to more and I do not see any mistakes that need rectifying with this piece. Keep up the good work
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2011
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Congrats on the new computer... another well written piece. I keeps my interest and leaves me wanting more. I also like the information given so if a person is living this life it points a way out. As a survivor of abuse I know how daunting taking that first step away can be. I look forward to more and I do not see any mistakes that need rectifying with this piece. Keep up the good work
Comment Written 25-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Gideon Roth
Hello Barbara. I have been doing some writing today in hopes of having a post ready by the first of July. Anyway, I noticed that you had submitted another chapter to the story and decided to give it a read. I really enjoyed this chapter too and it was very well done. No spag and great use of dialogue as usual. Keep up the great writing and this will turn into a fine finished project in no time.
Tim
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2011
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Hello Barbara. I have been doing some writing today in hopes of having a post ready by the first of July. Anyway, I noticed that you had submitted another chapter to the story and decided to give it a read. I really enjoyed this chapter too and it was very well done. No spag and great use of dialogue as usual. Keep up the great writing and this will turn into a fine finished project in no time.
Tim
Comment Written 25-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from lola29
I can't believe that court in our Country would side with Anna's husband and allow him to have custody of his son. Abuse should never be tolerated, and in my opinion, is grounds for jail time. This was another good chapter, and I'm hoping Anna and her son are safe.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2011
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I can't believe that court in our Country would side with Anna's husband and allow him to have custody of his son. Abuse should never be tolerated, and in my opinion, is grounds for jail time. This was another good chapter, and I'm hoping Anna and her son are safe.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2011
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Thank you for your kind review and insight.
Comment from Nican
Good chapter which is almost all dialogue and moves the story along well. I find the characters in this chapter a little "starchy" with little to show for interest or their development. However, the chapter is dedicated to finding Anna and the focus is on that part of the plot.
However, the process of finding Anna also seems a little too "clinical". Despite their efforts and presumed concern, there is little emotion to enhance this chapter. I found myself reading the chapter but not living in it.
Having said this, there are many positive aspects including the grammar and punctuation; no stalling or bogged down areas; foreshadowing with the husband for future interest; no unnecessary details; add much to the chapter.
I have been studying women's rights here in Nicaragua and including their deplorable record of abuse. I hope to post an article soon.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2011
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Good chapter which is almost all dialogue and moves the story along well. I find the characters in this chapter a little "starchy" with little to show for interest or their development. However, the chapter is dedicated to finding Anna and the focus is on that part of the plot.
However, the process of finding Anna also seems a little too "clinical". Despite their efforts and presumed concern, there is little emotion to enhance this chapter. I found myself reading the chapter but not living in it.
Having said this, there are many positive aspects including the grammar and punctuation; no stalling or bogged down areas; foreshadowing with the husband for future interest; no unnecessary details; add much to the chapter.
I have been studying women's rights here in Nicaragua and including their deplorable record of abuse. I hope to post an article soon.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2011
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Thank you for your review.
