Reviews from

Lonely Hearts Meet

Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Part 1 Chapter 6"
Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.

87 total reviews 
Comment from NaughtieScribe
Excellent
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Another well developed and engaging chapter. I saw no spaggies or adjustments to recommend. This is genuinely a good read. On to the next chapter.

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2012


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2012
    Thank you so much.
Comment from rzubey
Good
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I'm glad that we finally got some idea of who Ellen Collier is and that Anna is safe. I'm just hoping that there are no further problems for Anna, but the writer in me says that there will be and that will be more conflict. I'm looking forward to reading more. Keep up the good work.

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Roberta Joan Jensen
Excellent
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He put the phone in his pocket. --- Doesn't Troy carry his cell on a belt cllip? I seem to remember that from an earlier chapter.

"He's with Everett[] but should be back any[ ]time.
"While we wait, I'll set the table." Troy put the last spoon on when he heard the door. He turned. "Dad? Did you learn anything?["]

"That depends on how badly her husband wants the baby back." Paul added vegetables to his plate. "I'm hoping he hasn't found a lawyer yet. If he has, he could file possible kidnapping charges against her." --- Kidnapping charges can only come when a parent is in violation of a court order. Until there's an order for custody, either parent has the right to have the child. At this stage, the police usually tell the parent that it's a civil matter and he has to take it to court; they don't do anythig. Bobby's problem is that, when he files for divorce and a hearing to get temporary custody, he has to serve the papers on Anna, which he can't do when he doesn't know where she is. His alternative is to publish it in the paper and hopefully Anna would see it.


"The violence is documented. Won't that help her case?" --- Yes, but only if Anna comes forward and presents the evidence to the court. The court only knows what the parties put in front of it.

"The charges probably wouldn't stick, but it could get messy." --- With Anna's broken bones and abuse to Michael, there's no way the charges wouldn't stick. It would be best if Anna testified, but with the evidence from the police who responded to the 911 call, the doctors and nurses at the hospital, and the hospital records, they could probably get a conviction without Anna.

Roberta

 Comment Written 16-Sep-2011


reply by the author on 17-Sep-2011
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Charmane
Excellent
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This is a very good read. I love it because it is filled with suspense. The characters are sharp and he ignites the
story line. I wanted to cut in and question the nurse too. In my heart, I figured the next move would be to follow the nurse. My instinct said that she would lead us straight to the baby!the

 Comment Written 29-Jul-2011


reply by the author on 30-Jul-2011
    Thank you for going back and reading my precvious chapters. I appreciate it.
Comment from Fluffyhead
Excellent
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You really know how to keep the reader on their toes. Very interesting story dialog, can't wait to see what happens next.

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2011


reply by the author on 01-Jul-2011
    Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from pickthorn
Excellent
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The tension mounts as Troy, Paul and Everett continue to uncover leads to the whereabouts of Anna. This story is well written and maintains the readers continued interest.
Looking forward to nexxt chapter.

 Comment Written 29-Jun-2011


reply by the author on 29-Jun-2011
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from stanishmichelle
Excellent
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Well, we seem to have a good lead on Anna with that Collier suspect. Hope Everett gets lucky with a location. Troy had better take Dad's advice and hide his lovesick heart. I think this is a great chapter, and the suspense is heating up, as we got a big clue. I can't wait for the next chapter. Michelle

 Comment Written 29-Jun-2011


reply by the author on 29-Jun-2011
    Thank you for your kind review and support.
Comment from Scribelle
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is an outstanding portrayal of a woman dealing with abuse. That she appears to have disappeared is an excellent illustration of one response to such a situation. Troy's concern and the discovery of an underground safety organization is well portrayed, with believable dialog and with possible effects. While not abused myself, I have seen this type of dynamic, and find it very believable. The author notes are excellent, and helpful for any woman who may find herself in an abusive relationship. Well-written, and with a purpose of helping others - I appreciate that!

 Comment Written 29-Jun-2011


reply by the author on 29-Jun-2011
    Thank you for your kind review and insight.
Comment from cjvaughn
Excellent
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Hi Barbara,
Wow, great info on domestic violence! Realistic characters in real-life situations. The pace works well and adds to the tension as we wonder if Anna and her son are okay and pray that her husband doesn't find her. The sad thing is, in real life, Anna would probably be the one to go to jail for kidnapping and her husband would probably not be charged for lack of evidence. Fantastic job working with very difficult subject matter.
No SPAG or nits I could see.
Good luck, CJ

 Comment Written 29-Jun-2011


reply by the author on 29-Jun-2011
    We shall see what happens. This saga will continue. I am in contact with a lawyer so I can keep it realistic. I appreciate your review.
Comment from Charlene0513
Excellent
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To barbara.wilkey,
A suspicious and defenceless story where possibly irrevocable damage could be placed upon the woman if unable to reconcile with her captors.
Good foresight into the plot and good cadence that keeps you interested in the coming and going of the cast members involved.
Charlene

 Comment Written 28-Jun-2011


reply by the author on 29-Jun-2011
    Thank you for the kind review.