Steve's Story-Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Grampus Saves the World"A collection of my poems
74 total reviews
Comment from jackpeg
What an epic! Very well crafted R&M piece on a serious topic, although I don't think the situation is as dire as "...the oceans in the lurch." But that is beside the greater point that this is a very well constructed poem. Do you R&M all your F.S. postings?
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2011
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What an epic! Very well crafted R&M piece on a serious topic, although I don't think the situation is as dire as "...the oceans in the lurch." But that is beside the greater point that this is a very well constructed poem. Do you R&M all your F.S. postings?
Comment Written 22-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2011
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Well I had to look up R&M on Google and this is what I got!!
R&M Reliability & Maintainability
R&M Repair and Maintenance
R&M Refining and Marketing
R&M Research and Monitoring
R&M Renovation and Modernization
R&M Replacement and Modernization
R&M Redistribution and Marketing
Maybe none of the above???
Steve
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Sorry, Steve. Didn't mean to be so cryptic. R&M means rhyme and meter. I am going to give your poem , "Smiling Jack" to my poet friend Barry, who writes the same kind of wild stuff. One of his bar room charactrs is a dude by the name of Odious Jones. You get the picture. He'll love it. I'm still chuckling over all the R&M's you came up with. None of them very poetic.
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To answer the original question then.... Yes, I think I've stuck to R&M for everything I've posted, which is not to say that there isn't a free verse in there somewhere. I did have something struggling to get out about Christchurch but then changed to make it a sonnet so it would fit in a contest.
Feel free to pass 'Smiler Jack' around - I put it in for a local bush poetry competition but they (radio) weren't interested :o(
Did you get the alternate ending too??
Steve
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A pox on New Zealand radio. I don't know if I got the "alternate ending" or not. I will see my friend Barry in the morning. I can tell him later.
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Australian radio actually - I'm living with the enemy.
The alternate ending was posted separately - it's in my portfolio as 'Who's Smiling Now?'
Steve
Comment from MyYiaYia
This cute poem and the just as cute artwork brought a lot of laughter to my funny bone. With all its innate humor, I can't see why it couldn't be the winner in this contest. Loved it. Well done! Deb :0)
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2011
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This cute poem and the just as cute artwork brought a lot of laughter to my funny bone. With all its innate humor, I can't see why it couldn't be the winner in this contest. Loved it. Well done! Deb :0)
Comment Written 22-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2011
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Thank you, Deb.
No luck in the contest unfortunately... :o(
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:0( It should have won, IMHO. Deb
Comment from Queenise
Really thought this was innovative and very informative as well as funny. Seriously, I think you did a great job at showing just how man has gotten so off track that it makes one wonder if the animals are smarter. good imagery,pace,flow and the art is great with your writing. Blessings. Would recommend. Queenise
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2011
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Really thought this was innovative and very informative as well as funny. Seriously, I think you did a great job at showing just how man has gotten so off track that it makes one wonder if the animals are smarter. good imagery,pace,flow and the art is great with your writing. Blessings. Would recommend. Queenise
Comment Written 21-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2011
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Thank you - yes, there is always more to learn and we certainly need a wake-up call sometimes.
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You're welcome. Queenise
Comment from c_lucas
The world is saved daily by the lowest members of the food chain which keeps the highest member alive. This is very well written. Good luck in your contest.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2011
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The world is saved daily by the lowest members of the food chain which keeps the highest member alive. This is very well written. Good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2011
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Thanks for the review.
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You're welcome, K. Charlie
Comment from carmen vargas
A vast and beautiful poem that speaks of cutting green dreams of finding fish whale longs.Versos fluid and free. Beautiful pictures sensoriales. Congratulations and healthy.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2011
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A vast and beautiful poem that speaks of cutting green dreams of finding fish whale longs.Versos fluid and free. Beautiful pictures sensoriales. Congratulations and healthy.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2011
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Mucho gracias, Carmen
Comment from Thoughtician
Encore! Encore! This is so humorous and what a great moral. I like the meter and the wording...just about everything. So well done. Good luck!
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2011
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Encore! Encore! This is so humorous and what a great moral. I like the meter and the wording...just about everything. So well done. Good luck!
Comment Written 21-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2011
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Thank you for your review. Glad you rnjoyed my greeny whale...
Comment from misscookie
Cute artwork
Worthy of your poem I enjoyed reading your poem and found it very interesting.
There is a strong message within this poem. I smiled as I read the poem for I always tell people we can learn a lot from the animals. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2011
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Cute artwork
Worthy of your poem I enjoyed reading your poem and found it very interesting.
There is a strong message within this poem. I smiled as I read the poem for I always tell people we can learn a lot from the animals. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2011
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Thank you for your review. Glad you enjoyed my greeny whale...
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Your very welcome.
Comment from eyesthatsee
I thought this was a priceless poetic expression of your whale's thoughts. It has such a wonderfully easy flow and rhythm. Your presentation is cute too. Good luck in your contest however, I say this one has a real chance at winning. warmly ETS
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2011
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I thought this was a priceless poetic expression of your whale's thoughts. It has such a wonderfully easy flow and rhythm. Your presentation is cute too. Good luck in your contest however, I say this one has a real chance at winning. warmly ETS
Comment Written 21-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2011
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Thanks - tough competition in the voting booth :o(
Comment from ulster3
Hello author...
This shows exceptional poetic skill and sure meets and overeaches the contest criteria in my opinion. I love that you chose whales, which are also endangered, to speak of man's idiocy. This has both humor and truth. I wish you well in the contest.
Warmly, Rebecca
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2011
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Hello author...
This shows exceptional poetic skill and sure meets and overeaches the contest criteria in my opinion. I love that you chose whales, which are also endangered, to speak of man's idiocy. This has both humor and truth. I wish you well in the contest.
Warmly, Rebecca
Comment Written 21-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2011
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Thank you Rebecca
Tough going in the voting booth. :o(
Comment from adewpearl
Strong rhymes, excellent alliteration.
I love the premise of the story, that this whale's dying wish is to see the flying fish before he dies.
Love the "great cetacean army" line
great characterization of humans as the ones who bleached the coral with chemicals immoral
love the Venus/genus pairing
laughing at the alliterative league of fishy fin-folk
Great ending - maybe we ought to put another species in charge of the United Nations since we've been muffing the job! Brooke :-)
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2011
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Strong rhymes, excellent alliteration.
I love the premise of the story, that this whale's dying wish is to see the flying fish before he dies.
Love the "great cetacean army" line
great characterization of humans as the ones who bleached the coral with chemicals immoral
love the Venus/genus pairing
laughing at the alliterative league of fishy fin-folk
Great ending - maybe we ought to put another species in charge of the United Nations since we've been muffing the job! Brooke :-)
Comment Written 21-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2011
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Thanks, Brooke.
You're right - other species couldn't do any worse...
