Reviews from

Steve's Story-Poems

Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Grampus Saves the World"
A collection of my poems

74 total reviews 
Comment from Connie P
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is fantastic and deserving of a 6, but as it goes toward the end of the week, I'm out. Sorry to see this didn't win, I thought it was a sure winner. You've used the whale to make some extremely important points and fashioned a good outcome.
Connie

 Comment Written 23-Jun-2011


reply by the author on 23-Jun-2011
    Thanks, Conni - I'll accept the virtual six.Steve
    PS if you have a moment google images for Migaloo our local star.
Comment from Alexander E Poet
Excellent
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Your beautiful words are well written meaningful teaches me something about life. Excellent , This was poetic colorful, and vivid. Well done. There were no errors. No typo's Alexander QQ.

 Comment Written 23-Jun-2011


reply by the author on 23-Jun-2011
    Thank you, Alexander
    Steve
    PS if you have a moment google images for Migaloo our local star.
Comment from LadyCosgrove
Excellent
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This certainly made me smile. The League of Fishy Fin Folk is totally inspired. lol
I completely agree with your author's note as well. Man could learn a lot from the other dwellers of this planet if arrogance would only stop getting in the way.

 Comment Written 23-Jun-2011


reply by the author on 23-Jun-2011
    Maybe one day.....

    Thanks for the review - glad you liked my green whale.

    Steve
Comment from nancyjam
Excellent
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i love this - it is humorous and clever
and has a strong message about taking
care of our earth.
the rhymes are terrific and
the rhythm is lively and suits the
theme. well done. Most enjoyable.

 Comment Written 23-Jun-2011


reply by the author on 23-Jun-2011
    Thank you - glad you enjoyed Grampus' miraculous recovery...
Comment from The Stranger
Excellent
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You echo the sentiments of my poem...

"Earths Rape"

Nuclear contamination,
Scenes of devastation,
Natures mutilation,
Born of man's creation.

We need to be strong and force change

 Comment Written 23-Jun-2011


reply by the author on 23-Jun-2011
    Yes, this didn't start off as an eco statement, but as soon as I decided the whale would give his opinion about Man, there was no stopping him!!
    In good news, the humpback whale migration is just starting up the east coast of Australia - huge increase in numbers in the last few years - check out our big star; google images for 'Migaloo'
    Steve
Comment from amahra
Excellent
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Loved the animated fish you choice for your artwork. I loved the poem and thought the rhyme was great; not forced just to make things rhyme. My favorite stanza below:


When the great cetacean army
Reached latitudes more balmy
The patriarch once more began to speak,
Though I feel I'm in a sauna
And there's unfamiliar fauna
I've failed to find the flying-fish I seek."

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2011


reply by the author on 23-Jun-2011
    Thank you - glad you enjoyed my funny political greeny whale...
    Steve
Comment from phild
Excellent
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This is a fantastic poem!! It was fun and light hearted but with a serious message. It had a nice rhyme and flow to it. Great writing and an enjoyable read.

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2011


reply by the author on 22-Jun-2011
    Thanks for your kind words. It was fun to write too!
    Steve
Comment from Alan K Pease
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

If you did this in the allotted hours you are exceptional. If you had done this in a preliminary draft you are sensational with forthought. As a oceanographer and ecologist who has seen whales in the Pacific and Indian Ocean and had interactions with them -a Grampus is what we need. Killer whales have shown us they can friends and Right Whale may have scared sharks from me, but I realize the plight is common to us all. Wonderful poem with excellent poetics

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2011


reply by the author on 22-Jun-2011
    Thank you, Alan.
    I had the first two stanzas in my head from something I wrote many years ago, but the rest I came up with during idle moments at work (don't tell the boss) in an afternoon.
    I have enjoyed reading your stuff about the oceanography voyages.
    I am on the east coast of Australia and it's the beginning of humpback season - I can report that these majestic creatures are well and truly on the comeback - so much so that they arr in some danger of collision with pleasure craft. Just the other day a search and rescue boat was almost destroyed after hitting one and had to reverse miles back to shore because there was a gaping hole in the front of the hull - they don't know what happened to the whale although they tried an aerial search for it.
    Everyone is awaiting the re-appearance of our most famous whale, Migaloo, the white humpback. He's been a regular for several years and generates a huge amount of interest. Migaloo means 'white fella' in one of the aboriginal languages. Search for him on Google images and you'll see what I mean.
    Thanks for the great review and the six stars.
    Steve
Comment from RKagan
Excellent
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I read your author notes and you are quite right, there is no doubt! I loved your whimsical poem. It has a wonderful smooth flow when read aloud. And a well worked rhyme scheme. I see it is for a contest, best of luck to you.

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2011


reply by the author on 22-Jun-2011
    Thank you - no joy in the contest I'm afraid... :o(
    Steve
Comment from alexgardiner
Excellent
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"I am feeling rather bitter
'Cos there is one other critter
Who I'm blaming for the failure of my search
He's the one who bleached the coral
With his chemicals immoral,
He's the one who left the oceans in the lurch."


Wake up calls we need more than we get.
Your humour passes on this great message in an easy to digest way.

Humour is a great instructor.
Loved this work.
The Auld yin.

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2011


reply by the author on 22-Jun-2011
    Thank you! I started off to be funny and then the eco-message just forced its way in!