Steve's Story-Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Grampus Saves the World"A collection of my poems
74 total reviews
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
This is great, Kenny! I love the meter and rhyme pattern. I hope you don't mind if I try writing one in the same meter. It's 4 beats, 4 beats, then 5, and then repeat, with rhymes cleverly placed. Love the sound of it. Cute story too!
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2013
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This is great, Kenny! I love the meter and rhyme pattern. I hope you don't mind if I try writing one in the same meter. It's 4 beats, 4 beats, then 5, and then repeat, with rhymes cleverly placed. Love the sound of it. Cute story too!
Comment Written 01-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2013
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Thanks, Phyllis.
No copyright on meters and rhyme schemes s far as I know.
Steve
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Did you come up with this meter yourself?
Comment from purrfect tale
I usually skip poetry because I don't know much about it, but this one grabbed me from the first line. Not only did you supply the humor, but to point out a serious situation. Too bad the world will ignore this fishy warning.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2013
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I usually skip poetry because I don't know much about it, but this one grabbed me from the first line. Not only did you supply the humor, but to point out a serious situation. Too bad the world will ignore this fishy warning.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2013
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Thank you!
This started as just a piece of fun, but the more serious theme took over.
Steve
Comment from The Death
This is really good.
It has the humor and also makes us realise again about the disasters that man himself is creating,not only for himself but the whole earth.
I enjoyed it a lot.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2013
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This is really good.
It has the humor and also makes us realise again about the disasters that man himself is creating,not only for himself but the whole earth.
I enjoyed it a lot.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2013
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Thank you!
This started as just a piece of fun, but the more serious theme took over.
Steve
Comment from fun_tosha
I liked it.It was a good poem.You used rhythmic words and I liked that.I think you are a good writer and poet.Keep writing more poems for me to read.I like reading interesting poems:)
Thanks for sharing your work with us.
Fun_tosha
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2011
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I liked it.It was a good poem.You used rhythmic words and I liked that.I think you are a good writer and poet.Keep writing more poems for me to read.I like reading interesting poems:)
Thanks for sharing your work with us.
Fun_tosha
Comment Written 15-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2011
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Thank you for reviewing.
Steve
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It was a pleasure too.
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Hello Steve,
Do you have extra money????
Can you share some of it with me so I can write stories????Answer me as soon as you could cz then I'll be joining another site but I really dont want to leave it!!
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I meant to say Fanstory money
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Hi.
You really don't need FS dollars just to post, although you do if you want a certificate to keep your work on the listings and to promote it so more people see it. I have never spent any 'real' money here - I just earn member dollars by reviewing and you can do the same. Make sure you review the works on the front page - they are worth the most.
Good luck and I hope to see a story or poem from you soon...
Steve
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Thanks for your kind help.
Your fan Fun_tosha
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How can I upgrade my membership with reviewing???They ask for payment by paypal or something else.Give me an advice on how you started to write your first poem and story.Sorry for disturbing you a lot.
Fun_tosha who needs help from you.
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Hiya - Sorry - I didn't realise you were not a paid up member! - it's a bit hard for me to remember what you can and can't do when you just have the free membership.
Tell me, when you write reviews (like you have done for my poems) do you earn any member dollars (or cents?)
There may be no way around this except to pay up - if your PayPal won't work then you could ask someone who has a credit card to help you out or even pay with a cheque. Have you talked to your Mum and Dad and explained to them what you want to do? It is $48 for one year's membership (or $76 for 2 years I think)
Don't worry about asking questions - I am happy to help with advice, but sadly I can't pay for you! :o)
Steve
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Well I asked you because you said you didn't pay real money.I earn member dollars for bonus reviewing and cents for simple reviewing."You really don't need FS dollars just to post, although you do if you want a certificate to keep your work on the listings and to promote it so more people see it."I didn't understand this:S
Thanks for telling this but still I am confused:S
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Once you have become a 'full' member (for which you need real money) then you can use your member dollars to 'buy' certificates and things so that more people get to see your work. It is confusing at first, I know.
So, I used my credit card to pay for one year's subscription (and will have to pay for one more year in a few months when my first year is up. Since then I have just earned and used member dollars, although some people buy those too with real money.
It is how the site makes a profit to keep running it and give prizes etc.
It is a little hard if you can't afford the subscription! There may be other sites you could find that allow you to post your work for free, but possibly not as good as Fan Story...
Steve
Comment from Suzie Q
Very entertaining! This was a true joy to read. I loved the impeccable rhyme and alliteration. I especially liked " So the whale folk soon set forth, on their journey to the north, for they meant to grant the grampus his last wish. Mothers, Fathers, sons and daughters, left behind the frigid waters, and set off to find that fabled air borne fish" Well said! Great job!
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2011
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Very entertaining! This was a true joy to read. I loved the impeccable rhyme and alliteration. I especially liked " So the whale folk soon set forth, on their journey to the north, for they meant to grant the grampus his last wish. Mothers, Fathers, sons and daughters, left behind the frigid waters, and set off to find that fabled air borne fish" Well said! Great job!
Comment Written 23-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2011
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Thank you for your kind words. Glad you enjoyed my greeny whale saga...
Steve
Comment from SushilaBarton
What a fabulous poem am so glad to have shared it. You take the reader on an epic and earth changing story in such a succinct and clever way drawing us in again and again. I love your use of words and the unraveling of the message. Yo seem to have multilayered fighting for the planet and fulfilling the brief in one swoop. I was hooked on each line, thank you x
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2011
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What a fabulous poem am so glad to have shared it. You take the reader on an epic and earth changing story in such a succinct and clever way drawing us in again and again. I love your use of words and the unraveling of the message. Yo seem to have multilayered fighting for the planet and fulfilling the brief in one swoop. I was hooked on each line, thank you x
Comment Written 23-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2011
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Thank you for your kind words. Glad you enjoyed my greeny whale saga...
Steve
Comment from mermaids
This is an excellent tale of dolphins and whales saving the world, right up my mermaid tail. This is definately a poem to be published and read by many.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2011
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This is an excellent tale of dolphins and whales saving the world, right up my mermaid tail. This is definately a poem to be published and read by many.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2011
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Thank you so much for the kind words and the 6 stars - much appreciated! Do mermaids mix with whales I wonder. PS if you have a moment google images for Migaloo our local star.
Comment from InterestingRon
This beautifully constructed rhyming poem not only complies fully with the rules of the contest - but includes man's ill treatment of the environment.
The illustration and blue and white presentation is super.
Good luck in the contest.
Ron
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2011
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This beautifully constructed rhyming poem not only complies fully with the rules of the contest - but includes man's ill treatment of the environment.
The illustration and blue and white presentation is super.
Good luck in the contest.
Ron
Comment Written 23-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2011
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Thanks, Ron. Glad you enjoyed.
Steve
PS if you have a moment google images for Migaloo our local star.
Comment from Sophiaalexandra
hahah that was really cute. i think its interesting the perspective of the animals and their opinions of one another. very neat poem. thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2011
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hahah that was really cute. i think its interesting the perspective of the animals and their opinions of one another. very neat poem. thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2011
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Thank you! Steve.
PS if you have a moment google images for Migaloo our local star.
Comment from Maxine Kendall
WOW! A mammoth poem, both in size and content.
I love it!
This is so creatively written, bringing to mind terrific imagery.
There are many brilliant stanzas in here, it would be hard to pick a favourite. The whole premise is just wonderful.
One point ... I don't believe you need so many quotation marks, as it's the same person speaking. Just at the beginning and end of the speech stanzas.
Wish I had a six left for you.
Well done and good luck.
Maxine x
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2011
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WOW! A mammoth poem, both in size and content.
I love it!
This is so creatively written, bringing to mind terrific imagery.
There are many brilliant stanzas in here, it would be hard to pick a favourite. The whole premise is just wonderful.
One point ... I don't believe you need so many quotation marks, as it's the same person speaking. Just at the beginning and end of the speech stanzas.
Wish I had a six left for you.
Well done and good luck.
Maxine x
Comment Written 23-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2011
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Thank you for your kind words and the virtual 'Six'!
Yeah, I tossed up about the speech marks when he keeps on spouting across two stanzas - decided it's neater like this, but I'll bear it in mind.
Steve
PS if you have a moment google images for Migaloo our local star.
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Now I am intrigued, so will do.
