Comment from Margaret Snowdon

Exceptional

A dramatic chapter with surprises - the speech natural.
Poor Mia - she has a heart of gold.

Most impressive and enjoyable, Bev - deserving of a six.



It really bothers me, y'know?" - is this not more of a statement than a question, Bev thus no question mark.

Emma('s) hands
That's makes me - That
jerked(,) and her head fell



Margaret

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 14-Apr-2015

Thank you so very much for the gracious and generous review, Margaret. I appreciate your editorial help, as well. I love when people can spot what I can't, even with the larger print.

I find with this new system, spell check is not working for me. I can't seem to get it to engage. Oh well...

:) Bev

reply by Margaret Snowdon on 14-Apr-2015

You're a favourite of mine, Bev. Thank YOU!!

reply by the author on 14-Apr-2015

Gosh, I'm honored, Margaret.

Comment from robina1978

Excellent

That is so considerate of Charlie. The artwork is great and complements this chapter perfectly. I remembered all the names from earlier postings. I think Charles is the murderer of the estate. Now he pins the medium down.

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 14-Apr-2015

Thanks so much, Ine. I really appreciate you taking time to read my chapter. You have a good memory as I am notorious for delays between chapters!
Hope you are well...

Bev

Comment from Drew Delaney

Excellent

Perhaps that why they never found his body."

Very interesting read, Bev. I took note to some editing issues. I hope you don't mind. Drew xx

Emma hands - Emma's hands

That's makes me - That makes me

jerked and her head fell - jerked(,)

corpses and men in black - corpses(,)

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 14-Apr-2015

Editing help is always appreciated, Drew. Thank you for taking time to read and for your very helpful review.

:) Bev

Comment from bob cullen

Excellent

I've not read any of this work before so forgive any wrong assumptions I make.

Your main characters are strongly defined and your writing is crisp. The background detail you provide allows the reader come to grips with the story.

While not a genre I generally read, I found your writing created both tension and intrigue. I certainly whetted my appetite for the next chapter

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 14-Apr-2015

Hi, Bob. Thank you for taking time to read this chapter considering it's not your usual genre. I think that gives you a unique perspective, and I appreciate your shared insights. Always helpful!

:) Bev

Comment from kriver

Excellent

Hi Bev,
I really liked this chapter
even though I am
coming in the middle.
It has good character interaction
Good dialogue smooth word flow
Well developed descriptive scenes
Over all I think it is a very good write.

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 14-Apr-2015

Thank you much, kriver. I'm glad you were able to enjoy the read and didn't find it too confusing. I often come into a novel part way on this site, and it's always a relief when the story makes, at least, some sense. Appreciate your time and encouragement.

:) Bev

Comment from boxergirl

Excellent

It sure is baaack and we are glad to see it. Great job with your descriptive details, especially at the end when old Charles pops up!!
Always great suspense! 8-)

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 14-Apr-2015

Thanks so much, BG. I was being a bit cheeky LoL. It feels good to be back with my gang too. I've enjoyed the YA novel, and will continue to plug away at it, but the Paranormal is something I know well and so it comes much easier.

I appreciate your encouragement and support!

:) Bev

Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

I enjoyed your reference to Nucky, since my husband watched "Boardwalk" while I multi-tasked on FanStory! The possible Kennedy connection and the tunnel theory were interesting too. I was alarmed by the deerhound leaping out in the road, but at least no one and no equipment was damaged. However, even more surprising was the mass that transformed what seemed to be the ghost of a woman into Charles Bellingham. Good dialog and a lot of drama in this chapter--thanks to Charlie for encouraging the revisit. Cheers- Joan

 Comment Written 13-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Apr-2015

Hi, Joan. Thanks for the great review. My husband was a big fan of Boardwalk Empire, too. So good to hear from you, my friend.

:) Bev

reply by Joan E. on 13-Apr-2015

We're off on a short train trip to Denver tomorrow with our adult son--hope to connect on the internet when I can. Sweet dreams- Joan

reply by the author on 14-Apr-2015

Enjoy your trip, Joan.

reply by Joan E. on 15-Apr-2015

Thanks for the bon voyage--so far, so good. Greetings from the Mile High City! -Joan

Comment from misscookie

Excellent

You had my attention from the first line to the last, I found this to be n interesting read again.
I was enjoying the story until you came to the bats...
I dislike them even in a story.
This is a good write. Thank you for sharing. Cookie

 Comment Written 13-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Apr-2015

Thanks so much, Cookie. I'm not a fan of bats myself, but that's only because of the up-close pictures I've seen. They're great for keeping the pests down around our house. We try to encourage them by having bat houses.

:) Bev

Comment from Jay Squires

Excellent

Poor Mia. She has to be the one who bears the emotional paranormal images. And if I remember from the last chapter, she was incapacitated for a while (or maybe it just seemed a while between your posts, LOL).

I always enjoyed this novel and am glad you're resuming it's posting.

 Comment Written 13-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Apr-2015

I have been very naughty and deserve a noodle lashing, Jay. Thanks for taking time to read and for your grand review.

Yes, Mia was down for the count. She's a slip of a girl with a big heart and a determined soul. Helping trapped souls to find peace is what keeps her going. But there will be others who suffer in varying degrees before this twisted tale comes to an end.

Much appreciate the support!

:) Bev

Comment from Zue65

Excellent

Well, I am not really a fan of ghost and psychic phenomena but the writer do have a gift for writing interesting presentation of events, the little details and hints of the spirit world. Anything mysterious and unknown can be an exciting read and you explored it well in this chapter.

 Comment Written 13-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Apr-2015

Hi, Nassus. Thank you for taking time to read this chapter, given it's outside your realm of interest. I do appreciate your support and generosity.

:) Bev