Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Part one Chapter four"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
83 total reviews
Comment from Heidixoxo
What a fantastic story Barbara!! You have written and touched on a subject that I wish so many others would acknowledge as well. You have done an amazing job writing this making for a good read. Job very nicely done and no need to make any changes at all. Best of luck to you as always my friend.......xoxo
reply by the author on 10-May-2011
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What a fantastic story Barbara!! You have written and touched on a subject that I wish so many others would acknowledge as well. You have done an amazing job writing this making for a good read. Job very nicely done and no need to make any changes at all. Best of luck to you as always my friend.......xoxo
Comment Written 10-May-2011
reply by the author on 10-May-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from kiwisteveh
Your story is moving along now. As usual this chapter is clearly written and the dialogue is great both fo fill in some of the back story which is also good.or revealing character and plot. Here it is also used t
reply by the author on 10-May-2011
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Your story is moving along now. As usual this chapter is clearly written and the dialogue is great both fo fill in some of the back story which is also good.or revealing character and plot. Here it is also used t
Comment Written 09-May-2011
reply by the author on 10-May-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Dave M
Barbara,
This is an excellent bridge chapter that gives background information on Anna's wretched marriage in a realistic way - she tells the lawyer. You also showed that the old lawyer was really experienced at getting people to open up about themselves. Excellent touches.
I enjoyed this read and have a couple of suggestions:
"My parents worried about the state universities being too liberal, so [they] sent me to a small private college."
"I was told I had made my choice. I needed to live with my decision." I'd rewrite this as, "She told me I had made my choice and needed to live with it."
Dave
reply by the author on 12-May-2011
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Barbara,
This is an excellent bridge chapter that gives background information on Anna's wretched marriage in a realistic way - she tells the lawyer. You also showed that the old lawyer was really experienced at getting people to open up about themselves. Excellent touches.
I enjoyed this read and have a couple of suggestions:
"My parents worried about the state universities being too liberal, so [they] sent me to a small private college."
"I was told I had made my choice. I needed to live with my decision." I'd rewrite this as, "She told me I had made my choice and needed to live with it."
Dave
Comment Written 09-May-2011
reply by the author on 12-May-2011
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Thank you for the kind review and I will take care of those areas.
Comment from Shirley McLain
Great chapter, full of intensity and I enjoyed reading it and am looking forward to more. Spouse abuse is so terrible. You portrayed the emotions so well.
reply by the author on 10-May-2011
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Great chapter, full of intensity and I enjoyed reading it and am looking forward to more. Spouse abuse is so terrible. You portrayed the emotions so well.
Comment Written 09-May-2011
reply by the author on 10-May-2011
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Thank you for your kind review and support.
Comment from amada
A very lovely and relaxed talk with that great and noble gentleman, the lady is lucky. I think the ice cream scene was charming and well written. What a nice way to ease up into a friendship.
reply by the author on 09-May-2011
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A very lovely and relaxed talk with that great and noble gentleman, the lady is lucky. I think the ice cream scene was charming and well written. What a nice way to ease up into a friendship.
Comment Written 09-May-2011
reply by the author on 09-May-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from glpar
Sadly I found this a true depiction of abuse. It is a good read and I find the story interesting and will look for the rest of this story to see how it began and how it ends. I worked in the addictions field for over 20 years and saw many women who said and felt just what you have written. Good job.
reply by the author on 09-May-2011
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Sadly I found this a true depiction of abuse. It is a good read and I find the story interesting and will look for the rest of this story to see how it began and how it ends. I worked in the addictions field for over 20 years and saw many women who said and felt just what you have written. Good job.
Comment Written 09-May-2011
reply by the author on 09-May-2011
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Thank you for your kind review and insight. I appreciate both. I want to make this story as realistic as possible.
Comment from Osiek
It is so nice to review someone who has a talent for writing. You have the right amount of description to go with the dialog. You start the chapter with a little suspense...who is coming into the room and what for...and you let it the plot wrap around the reader. It is so refreshing to read something as good as this. I thank you for sharing your talent!
reply by the author on 09-May-2011
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It is so nice to review someone who has a talent for writing. You have the right amount of description to go with the dialog. You start the chapter with a little suspense...who is coming into the room and what for...and you let it the plot wrap around the reader. It is so refreshing to read something as good as this. I thank you for sharing your talent!
Comment Written 09-May-2011
reply by the author on 09-May-2011
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Thank you for your kind review and encouraging words.
Comment from jclark
As always, you are moving the story line along nicely and giving us good information about Anna's history as well as her self esteem issues. You have made her very human and fragile but you show she still has a strong spiriit which, I assume, will prevail as she fights her way out of this awful marriage. Anxiously awaiting your next chapter.
Judy
reply by the author on 09-May-2011
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As always, you are moving the story line along nicely and giving us good information about Anna's history as well as her self esteem issues. You have made her very human and fragile but you show she still has a strong spiriit which, I assume, will prevail as she fights her way out of this awful marriage. Anxiously awaiting your next chapter.
Judy
Comment Written 09-May-2011
reply by the author on 09-May-2011
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Thank you for the kind review and the insight.
Comment from dbmccarter
I like that we get the background with Bobby in this chapter. I felt this was a truthful look at how violence starts and escalates. The stats are interesting too
reply by the author on 09-May-2011
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I like that we get the background with Bobby in this chapter. I felt this was a truthful look at how violence starts and escalates. The stats are interesting too
Comment Written 09-May-2011
reply by the author on 09-May-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from N.K. Wagner
And Happy Mother's Day to you, too.
How does one keep the father from taking the child when he's released from the hospital. He's still legally the parent and no charges have been filed for child abuse. Writer's interest.
This is interesting both as a story and for the information you provide, Barbara. Well done. :) Nancy
reply by the author on 09-May-2011
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And Happy Mother's Day to you, too.
How does one keep the father from taking the child when he's released from the hospital. He's still legally the parent and no charges have been filed for child abuse. Writer's interest.
This is interesting both as a story and for the information you provide, Barbara. Well done. :) Nancy
Comment Written 09-May-2011
reply by the author on 09-May-2011
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I think we shall see what happens next. Thank you for the kind review.
