Reviews from

Paranormal Adventures

Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "The Puppet Master"
Case Studies of Hauntings

74 total reviews 
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Excellent
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I came in late and have started back from chapter one. A great read, and you get the hair on the back of our neck standing up already with this meeting.

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 16-Jun-2015
    Thank you so much, Pearl. I'm glad you're liking the novel. I really appreciate your support and encouragement.

    :) Bev
Comment from w.j.debi
Excellent
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You continue to build the suspense well and the foreshadowing of what may be waiting keeps raising more questions. What could happen? What is th ghost protecting? And what happened to Charles since he just disappeared and left all that money and his trunk behind all those years ago? An engaging story so far.

 Comment Written 17-May-2015


reply by the author on 18-May-2015
    Hi, Debi

    Thanks so much for going back and reading my chapter. The where and how of what happened to Charles is going to lead to darker truths behind this murder.

    Appreciate your thoughts and insights.

    :) Bev
Comment from mikemagine
Excellent
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Scary stuff. Sharing a body with a real evil....is asking for it! Small but powerful chapter with no flaws that I can see. This IS gonna be a helluva ride!

Mike

 Comment Written 18-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 18-Sep-2014
    Hi, Mike. Thank you so much for this awesome review! :) Bev
reply by mikemagine on 19-Sep-2014
    You bet! And KEEP WRITING:)
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2014
    Thanks, Mike. I plan to keep on keepin' on as they say. :)
reply by mikemagine on 19-Sep-2014
    :)
Comment from amahra
Excellent
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Another fine chapter and never disappointed with the realistic dialogue. I think I've said this before, but I really love your art work. It is so awesome. Just one thing below: if you have subject-verb agreement on the other side 'and' then you put a comma.


The roof was in dire need of repair[, take out comma] and the exterior paint so faded, he could only guess at the original color.

 Comment Written 18-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 18-Sep-2014
    Thank you for the kind review, Amahra. I appreciate your suggestions and insights. Hopefully the artist will read the reviews and see your remark on the picture. :) Bev
Comment from jaeladarling
Excellent
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I came into the third chapter, but it's written well enough to keep me interested. I bet the rest of the book is just as good. Nice work!

Just a few little nits for your consideration:


"the building behind him which looked" (Comma after "him")

"exterior paint so faded," (Add "was" after "paint" for consistency.)

"a check in a while or he" (Comma after "while")

"You don't scare me big fellah." (Comma after "me")

"got the door open and his dog" (Comma after "open")

"followed with Jenkins Porter" (Comma after "followed")

"fieldstone fireplace where a blazing" (Comma after "fireplace")

"trouble for me and he's" (Comma after "me")

"towards the caretaker who'd not" (Comma after "caretaker")

"Used to these sorts of happenings are you, Porter?" (Comma after "happenings")

"snapped back and his torso" (Comma after "back")

"what to do when he heard" (Comma after "do")

 Comment Written 17-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 17-Sep-2014
    Thanks so much for taking time to read and review. I'll check out the areas you mention and appreciate your time and interest.

    :) Bev
Comment from Sonaleeka
Excellent
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Hey buddy ,I really enjoyed.This is a great one.Keep amazed us with your flawless work.Worth reading.Thanks for sharing.

God bless!

 Comment Written 17-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 17-Sep-2014
    Thank you, Sonaleeka. I really appreciate the excellent and most encouraging review. :) Bev
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Excellent
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Hi writingfundimension,

I have a feeling Luke may just be the cause of some 'serious shit' for the rerst of the team, his cocky attititude is going to be trouble with a big "T".

Good chapter, methinks Mr Porter is possessed, but the question is, I think, where exactly is the possessor lurking, or rather where are his remains lurking?

Patrick

 Comment Written 17-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 17-Sep-2014
    Hi, Patrick. Thanks for the encouraging review. Yes, there is a deeper mystery around what happened to Charles Bellingham which is important to getting rid of his spirit. :) Bev
Comment from country ranch writer
Excellent
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HOPE THEY ARE PREPARED FOR THE NEXT ENCOUNTERS OF THE PARANORMAL KIND-LOOKS LIKE TOO THAT THE CARETAKER IS USELESS IN THIS

 Comment Written 16-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 16-Sep-2014
    Yes, he's not only useless, but he is going to be a source of contention. Thanks for the review, CRW :) Bev
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Excellent
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writingfun: I think that you have a handle on this genre and make it very interesting for us. I wasn't sure how the man collapsed or detail this out more. Glad that you are an award winner. Well written. Keep me posted.
flylikeaneagle

 Comment Written 16-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 16-Sep-2014
    Thank you so much for your fine review. :)
Comment from chasennov
Excellent
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a hostile caretaker raises suspicions Paranormal Adventures
The Puppet Master.' I have very much enjoyed reading and reviewing another one of your interesting chapters you have created here, Bev. Well done.

 Comment Written 16-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 16-Sep-2014
    Thank you so much, Chasennov. I appreciate you taking time to read and review so generously. :)
reply by chasennov on 16-Sep-2014
    You are most welcome, Bev.