The Impudence of Oranges
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Leaving"Reflective Autobiographical Poetry
24 total reviews
Comment from Adam C. Glasier
I love cats!
Besides that, I also admire your poem. What a gritty yet honest photo of the speaker's childhood. I don't understand why you repeated "thrown down" but your rhymes of hip and lip were clever. Good job.
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reply by the author on 25-Apr-2011
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I love cats!
Besides that, I also admire your poem. What a gritty yet honest photo of the speaker's childhood. I don't understand why you repeated "thrown down" but your rhymes of hip and lip were clever. Good job.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2011
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Ha! Cats and writers - together forever. The 'thrown down' was just to show a repeated action. Thank you for your feedback, Adam. M:)
Comment from Giselav
This is a very good poem that portrays a vivid memory in a child's mind. Great use og language to carry the tone throughout the poem. I especially like: but their music I could feel. So true as children perceive everything even when they cannot understand the words. Great job.
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reply by the author on 25-Apr-2011
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This is a very good poem that portrays a vivid memory in a child's mind. Great use og language to carry the tone throughout the poem. I especially like: but their music I could feel. So true as children perceive everything even when they cannot understand the words. Great job.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2011
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Thank you, Giselav. Your insightful comment is truly appreciated. M:)
Comment from tamarap2
Phenomenal imagery! When I read this I am in the room.
the baby on her hip
how you are little and can only feel words you are yet unable to understand.
Your repetition of hands thrown down packs a punch
You have done such a good job with this. Kudos for using no excess words. It's perfect-no need for any revisions here
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2011
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Phenomenal imagery! When I read this I am in the room.
the baby on her hip
how you are little and can only feel words you are yet unable to understand.
Your repetition of hands thrown down packs a punch
You have done such a good job with this. Kudos for using no excess words. It's perfect-no need for any revisions here
Comment Written 25-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2011
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Thanks again M:)
Comment from Bellringer
Excellent poem about a childhood memory. Very good combination of short and long rhyming lines add tension to the recollections. I also appreciated the repetition of "thrown down." it is a stark image of lives thrown away and despondency. Very original and compelling read. Regards, Hector
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2011
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Excellent poem about a childhood memory. Very good combination of short and long rhyming lines add tension to the recollections. I also appreciated the repetition of "thrown down." it is a stark image of lives thrown away and despondency. Very original and compelling read. Regards, Hector
Comment Written 25-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2011
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Thanks again M:)
