Steve's Story-Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Cherchez La Femme"A collection of my poems
95 total reviews
Comment from Kathryn Varuzza
This was a very interesting poem.
You made me laugh too.
Great title.
It's a wonder any of the men were able to find us women. lol!
You used good examples to make your point.
I liked the humor you threw in as well.
Good rhymes.
Flows well.
Very entertaining..
And the only reason these women were successful is because men listen more to their penis than their brains..
Very interesting.
Great ending too.
And I love your author's notes.
Kathryn
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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This was a very interesting poem.
You made me laugh too.
Great title.
It's a wonder any of the men were able to find us women. lol!
You used good examples to make your point.
I liked the humor you threw in as well.
Good rhymes.
Flows well.
Very entertaining..
And the only reason these women were successful is because men listen more to their penis than their brains..
Very interesting.
Great ending too.
And I love your author's notes.
Kathryn
Comment Written 26-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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Thanks for the review - more hysterical historical lessons on the way!
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You're welcome
Kathryn
Comment from missy98writer
kiwisteveh,
Your poem wondefully written and rich in imagery painting a picture in the readers head. Excellent rhyme, great narrative and very good descriptive writing cap off your poem that give the reader food for thought. Effective use of alliteartion thoughout your poem. I enjoy the story your poem. I especially enjoyed the lines: "Bewitched, besotted and beguiled A pretty face drome each one wild. Eight great men taken for a rid By the sweet delights of the distaff side Those who will not learn from History Are doomed to reapeat, that's not a mystery; So I must flee to save my life, Oh deadly peril, her comes the wife!" I liked the humor at the end. I'm awarding you five stars for excellence for this poem. Keep on writing.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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kiwisteveh,
Your poem wondefully written and rich in imagery painting a picture in the readers head. Excellent rhyme, great narrative and very good descriptive writing cap off your poem that give the reader food for thought. Effective use of alliteartion thoughout your poem. I enjoy the story your poem. I especially enjoyed the lines: "Bewitched, besotted and beguiled A pretty face drome each one wild. Eight great men taken for a rid By the sweet delights of the distaff side Those who will not learn from History Are doomed to reapeat, that's not a mystery; So I must flee to save my life, Oh deadly peril, her comes the wife!" I liked the humor at the end. I'm awarding you five stars for excellence for this poem. Keep on writing.
Melissa.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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Thanks, Melissa - more hysterical historical lessons on the way!
Comment from RebelRose
Okay, you made your point...many times over with each example. All of this true if history is to be believed, but the women couldn't have accomplished this if the men weren't so easy ... and did their thinking with their brain rather than another organ, LOL.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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Okay, you made your point...many times over with each example. All of this true if history is to be believed, but the women couldn't have accomplished this if the men weren't so easy ... and did their thinking with their brain rather than another organ, LOL.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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Thanks for the review - more hysterical historical lessons on the way!
Comment from adewpearl
Your quatrains have a good steady cadence and strong rhymes - I really like the near rhyming pairing of bolt/fault and the clever pairing of please her/Caesar.
Your literary and historical examples are all spot on and add so much to the point you're making.
What a fun ending, too :-)
As a woman, I am laughing my head off, not one wee bit offended :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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Your quatrains have a good steady cadence and strong rhymes - I really like the near rhyming pairing of bolt/fault and the clever pairing of please her/Caesar.
Your literary and historical examples are all spot on and add so much to the point you're making.
What a fun ending, too :-)
As a woman, I am laughing my head off, not one wee bit offended :-) Brooke
Comment Written 26-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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Thanks, Brooke. I have had a couple of comments about bolt/fault and also broad/sword. I must admit with my kiwi accent they are near perfect rhymes for me,
Thanks for the review - more hysterical historical lessons on the way!
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seeing that I love near rhymes, no harm, no foul :-) No matter how one hears the pairing, it sounds good
To my American ear bolt rhymes with colt while fault rhymes with vault broad rhymes with laud and sword rhymes with board :-)
Comment from JW
Interesting poem. You bought out a lot of historical events and did an excellent job in presenting one common thread in each of them. Great job.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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Interesting poem. You bought out a lot of historical events and did an excellent job in presenting one common thread in each of them. Great job.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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Thanks for the review - more hysterical historical lessons on the way!
Comment from jennyindy
This was absolutely amusing and the rhyme while interweaving history(well mostly :)was very clever!
I enjoyed reading it, it had great momentum from beginning to end,thanks for sharing this,
Jenny
(I wasn't offended in the least, and I have somewhat thin skin!)
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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This was absolutely amusing and the rhyme while interweaving history(well mostly :)was very clever!
I enjoyed reading it, it had great momentum from beginning to end,thanks for sharing this,
Jenny
(I wasn't offended in the least, and I have somewhat thin skin!)
Comment Written 26-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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Thanks for the review and all the stars - more hysterical historical lessons on the way!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Well, I guess you have a point, but I am sure there are many a women who could tell tales about how a man ruined their life and they've struggles to get put it back in order. I enjoyed your witty poem.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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Well, I guess you have a point, but I am sure there are many a women who could tell tales about how a man ruined their life and they've struggles to get put it back in order. I enjoyed your witty poem.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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Thanks for the review - more hysterical historical lessons on the way! Next time we might put down a few men...
Comment from lola29
I like your sense of humor and you've very cleverly penned it inside a poem. You are indeed very talented. I guess Adam should have specified what exactly he wanted in a woman.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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I like your sense of humor and you've very cleverly penned it inside a poem. You are indeed very talented. I guess Adam should have specified what exactly he wanted in a woman.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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"Eve, fetch me another beer, and could you turn the TV up a little, I'm missing the football..."
Comment from phoebebird
So fun to read! It flows nicely and is really entertaining. You did a good job showing the power these women held over the men, and how they shaped events that turned out to change the world. As for the deceptive part, I'm not sure all the women you used were deceiving their men - Helen was maybe a traitor or unfaithful rather than deceptive, and Eve did not even attempt to deceive Adam but instead offered him a bite of the forbidden fruit as well. But I get the point and I enjoyed your poem very much! Its like a mini history lesson, focusing on the infamous women of history. Thanks for posting!
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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So fun to read! It flows nicely and is really entertaining. You did a good job showing the power these women held over the men, and how they shaped events that turned out to change the world. As for the deceptive part, I'm not sure all the women you used were deceiving their men - Helen was maybe a traitor or unfaithful rather than deceptive, and Eve did not even attempt to deceive Adam but instead offered him a bite of the forbidden fruit as well. But I get the point and I enjoyed your poem very much! Its like a mini history lesson, focusing on the infamous women of history. Thanks for posting!
Comment Written 26-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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Yeah, I know not all of them fitted the 'deceptive' mould - I did think of a couple of others e.g. Mata Hari, but I wanted the link to a famous man as well...
Thanks for the review - more hysterical historical lessons on the way!
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi kiwisteveh,
This is an ambitious poem and while it is a little long for my tastes once I began to read I couldn't stop to the very end. I find this to be very creative with good word selection and a musical rhyme. I take a lot of poetic license and I am glad you do, as well! An evocative and compelling poem....chey
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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Hi kiwisteveh,
This is an ambitious poem and while it is a little long for my tastes once I began to read I couldn't stop to the very end. I find this to be very creative with good word selection and a musical rhyme. I take a lot of poetic license and I am glad you do, as well! An evocative and compelling poem....chey
Comment Written 26-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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A little long, huh. I guess you won't appreciate my planned 'Brief History of the World' then!!
Thanks for the review - more hysterical historical lessons on the way!
